Madeline Albright: Imbecile

Fuck you, Madame Secretary. Fuck you in the 5th Dimension with a flaming can of Aqua Net.

Posted by: eddiebear at 12:09 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Did Ben Franklin found the NY Times?

Cuz this sure sounds like Times reporting:

Franklin wrote and distributed a supplement to the Boston Independent Chronicle reporting that American Indians were sending the British Royal Court hundreds of American scalps, the implication being that the British troops were using ruthless, child hating Indian-mercenaries to help them win the Revolutionary War.

The news outraged Americans, horrified British citizens and, when word reached the British Royal Court, deeply confused the monarchy, as they had yet to receive any scalps. Franklin wrote the supplement to garner support from European nations for the U.S., and it totally worked. The kicker? The last American Revolution battle ended in October of the previous year, which made the supplement unnecessary and balltuitous. (Balls + gratuitous. Look it up.)

source

I'll admit maybe Cracked isn't the greatest source in the world but it's at least as good as those anonymous sources the Times is always trotting out.

Posted by: chad98036 at 12:07 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Today's Virtual Bukakke Of Health Care Links

Pete Stark shows love for his Blue Dog friends.

Claire McCaskill. 'Nuff Said!

Carol Shea-Porter opens her mouth again.

I can't top this weapons grade level of stupidity.

Posted by: eddiebear at 12:06 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Which is creepier?

more...

Posted by: Alice H at 11:30 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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The Official Dpud Foodstuffs

Tactical Canned Bacon.

I'm off to order a case, brb.

Posted by: alexthechick at 10:53 AM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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Bill Richardson pay-to-play investigation shut down by Holder

Weak...they're playing a dangerous game with this kind of shit, the more the political class gives extralegal privilege to people, be it themselves or allies or whoever else (I think amnesty would be the biggest example), the social contract between the citizenry and the government starts to fray, and we will see serious instability in the US as a result.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 10:36 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Can we invade China naow?

We didn't really need those "smart phones, hybrid cars, or precision weapons", did we?

Posted by: Alice H at 09:13 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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We can trust the Federal Government to run health care efficiently

You know, because they do such a bang-up job with everything else when it comes to spending our money.

Yeah.

Posted by: Sean M. at 11:59 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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You know what this blog needs? Besides more co-bloggers

Hotassery. 

Look, the Real World is pretty awful at the moment, what with people taking Obama to be their Lord and Savior and the whole Lockerbie thing and the healthcare thing and blah blah blah and all of us being racist Nazi evilmonging Neanderthal assassins.  Sometimes, it's a bit much.  Thus, it is time for some pretty.

Sheesh, yes, bipartisan.  All y'all are so damn fussy.
more...

Posted by: alexthechick at 09:31 PM | Comments (21) | Add Comment
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NHS, here we come!

None of those ignorant Town Hall "Teabaggers" with their idiotic notions about so-called "socialized medicine" know what they're talking shouting about, right? Right?

In the last six years, the Patients Association claims hundreds of thousands have suffered from poor standards of nursing, often with 'neglectful, demeaning, painful and sometimes downright cruel' treatment.

The charity has disclosed a horrifying catalogue of elderly people left in pain, in soiled bed clothes, denied adequate food and drink, and suffering from repeatedly cancelled operations, missed diagnoses and dismissive staff.

The Patients Association said the dossier proves that while the scale of the scandal at Mid-Staffordshire NHS Foundation Trust - where up to 1,200 people died through failings in urgent care - was a one off, there are repeated examples they have uncovered of the same appalling standards throughout the NHS.

Okay, that sounds a little unpleasant for the oldsters, but just think of the savings! We're talking big picture here, people, and that cost curve ain't gonna bend itself.

Yeah.

Update: I read this earlier today, and while you probably were already skeptical of the whole "If you like your plan, you can keep it," mantra that Obama keeps repeating, it gives the specifics that show that he either doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about or is flat-out bullshitting everyone when he says that. You tell me which is worse.

Posted by: Sean M. at 08:40 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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Felicia Day is one slutty fairy

Legend of Neil, Season 2, Ep. 3 -- The Musical

Posted by: chad98036 at 06:18 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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I am so gonna win that betting pool

You know, that betting pool I suggested where I think I'm the only one to actually make a declaration.  Not the one in the actual post, the one in the comments where I suggested we place bets on who Obama is going to invade and when.

I might even go so far as to suggest Obama's approval rating will go below 30% by, let's say 90 days after he proclaims in September to the UN that Israel needs to abandon Jerusalem and its settlements and recognize Palestine.  Because it wouldn't surprise me if Obama sets a three-month deadline for Israel to bend over and grab its ankles.

So I suppose the question is, if One Jerusalem's sources are correct and this isn't a bunch of unnecessary panic, what would be Obama's motivations for doing this?  Would this be a simple case of Obama naively thinking that peace in the Middle East and a halt to international terrorist attacks would magically occur if Israel were effectively neutered, or would the destruction of Israel be more malevolent in nature? 

Yeah, there's a whole lot of speculation here based on anonymous sourcing.  Good manners prevent me from speculating on what sort of watery hell some people might now be occupying, so I'm gonna speculate on this instead.

Posted by: Alice H at 06:02 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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This is just sad.

Now if it had been a PETA exec...

Posted by: Alice H at 05:12 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Quote of the Day

But what is the difference between literature and journalism?/ ...Journalism is unreadable and literature is not read. That is all.

Oscar Wilde. 

He continued...

Of course, some day a blogger will draw a cock on my face and way too many people will read that.

Gotcha, fucker!

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 04:00 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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25 Awesome Homeless Signs

I have to admit, some of these would get money from me.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 03:53 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Don't Like The Court's Decision?

You've always got being a total asshole to fall back on:

An Israeli travel agency decided to show its resentment for a verdict in an original way: they paid the sum of money ordered by the court to be paid to the plaintive in small change: a big bag full of coins.

"I felt humiliated" said the woman who sued the travel agency, after having her trip, which she booked and paid for in advance, rescheduled. After the verdict, in which the court ordered the Travel agency to pay the woman 470nis for her trouble, she was told to arrive to the travel agency's offices. Once there, she was given a huge bag filled with coins of the smallest denominations. She was told she was welcome to count the money, if she wished to do so.

The woman walked out of the office, crying. "I've never felt that way before" she said.

Being a person with a vastly over-developed sense of vengeance and spite, I can identify.  She was right to sue, but she could have at least been tough enough to give them the finger for their efforts.  Cry on your way out the door and the terrorists win.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 03:46 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Highest Voted Ted Kennedy Death Tagline at Fark?

Sen. Ted Kennedy carries on Kennedy family tradition of dying with something lodged in his brain.

Heh.
Update:  The Onion piles on:

'Kennedy Curse' Claims Life of 77-Year-Old Tumor-Riddled Binge-Drinker

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 02:52 PM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
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A tribute to Ted Kennedy

As much as I disagreed with Kennedy I have to admit that he accomplished a great deal in his life and career and he should be remembered for his accomplishments on this the day of his death:

• He was born
• Got thrown out of Harvard for cheating
• Used his father's political clout to keep him out of combat in Korea (would later criticize George W. Bush for supposedly using his father's political clout to stay out of the war in Vietnam)
• Cheated on his wife repeatedly
• Had a Senate seat bought for him by his father
• Swam away from a campaign worker who was trapped in a submerged car, then went home and slept for 10 hours while she slowly asphyxiated before calling the police.  Lied at the inquiry and escaped all but the lightest punishment.
• Abandoned South Vietnam to a brutal communist dictatorship.
• Attempted to work with the USSR to bring down an American president.
• Abandoned Nicaragua to a brutal communist dictatorship
• Used his political influence in a rape case against his nephew.

and that's just what I can remember off the top of my head.  Truly Kennedy was a man of many accomplishments. 

In light of his huge body of work is naming a health care reform bill after him really enough? 

I don't think so!

In that vein I would like to suggest that we start a foundation to raise money to build the Edward Kennedy Memorial Waterpark in Chappaquidick.  The centerpiece can be a waterslide that you descend in locked car that smells of booze and cigars and has an attractive female passenger.  After the car submerges you get to swim to shore while leaving her behind.

Posted by: chad98036 at 02:12 PM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
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I can't wait for the polling numbers

The death of Senator Kennedy highlights a special example of political manipulation the Massachusetts legislature engaged in prior to the 2004 election.  Before 2004, US Senate vacancies were filled by gubernatorial appointment.  In light of the combination of an impending Kerry presidency and a Republican governor Romney, the legislature voted to take that power from the governor and force a special election about five months after a seat becomes vacant.  Kerry lost the presidential election, Romney was replaced by Democratic governor Deval Patrick.

Apparently Senator Kennedy in his infinite wisdom recognized early last July that there was going to be a sticky wicket in the case of his death.  He composed a letter to several members of Massachusetts government suggesting that a legal push be made to change the law back to its pre-2004 gubernatorial appointment ways.  Also in Kennedy's infinite wisdom, he didn't bother mailing off the letters until a week ago.  The Massachusetts legislature recessed August 4, and so no law was proposed or passed.

So besides Senator Kennedy's untimely death destroying the filibuster-proof Congress, it's possible that Massachusetts Democrats could lose a Senate seat due to their manipulations in 2004.  Surprisingly, a very recent Gallup poll shows only 29% of Massholes considered themselves liberal or very liberal, while 30% considered themselves conservative or very conservative. In light of the recent centrist dissatisfaction with government spending, and assuming the Skittle-shitting unicorns aren't going to be delivered in the next five months, I think it's quite likely that the next junior Senator from Massachusetts will be a Republican. The question remains whether the Massachusetts legislature will try an end run around their previous shenanigans and attempt to give the appointment power back to Governor Patrick.

So in light of all this, I think we should say a special thanks to Senator Kennedy for holding on to those letters for a few extra weeks, and we should be sure to thank him again when the GOP gains a Senate seat.

Posted by: Alice H at 12:09 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Quote of the Day: Jessica Biel

Quote of the Day comes from The Superficial:

Jessica Biel is the "most dangerous woman" on the Internet. Is it because I'd stab my grandmother just to feel the breeze of Jessica's ass? That's gotta be it.

Here's the Morning Joe discussion of Jessica's dangerousness:

Posted by: JoeCollins at 11:39 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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