April 24, 2009

How Do They Type With That Cock In Their Mouth?

When I think honest, unbiased reporting, I think... AP:

Obama quickly, confidently adapts to presidency.

Yeah, no missteps at all so far.  DVD's are universally known to be the ideal gift for the leader of our closest allies. 

It didn't take long for Barack Obama — for all his youth and inexperience — to get acclimated to his new role as the calming leader of a country in crisis.

And there you have it.  This is the meme.  Don't believe your lying eyes about all the truly retarded things that have happened so far.  Everything is going great.  Fucking great. 

I'd say read the rest but it gets way, way, way worse as it goes on and I don't own stock in puke bags so there is no upside for me.

The Associated Press:  We Love Presidential Cock

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Well, Count David Brooks As Back In The RINOs For Obama Fold

Dammit! And I thought he was officially in the Heartbroken RINOs For Obama Club.

The big lesson for the Obama administration is that the American people will continue to support its agenda as long as they think it is competent. It was not automatic that an administration led by a 47-year-old man with little Washington experience would run a professional, smoothly functioning operation. Yet he has. The administration has unveiled a dazzling array of proposals with a high degree of efficiency and managerial skill. This has inspired confidence in his team, if not in the government as a whole.

This is so ridiculous, I have lost the ability to chew food.

Seriuosly, what the fuck is wrong with the Yacht Club Republicans and their never ending support of The Messiah? It's one thing for performance artists such as Allah to do what he does just to get attention and traffic, but these fools are worse than the Kossacks. I mean, at least the moonbats are on Obama's ass for some things. Brooks and Parker? Not so much.

I almost wonder if when the RINOs do deign to lower themselves to see how the Bitter Clingers feel about them, they dig in just to stick a thumb in the collective eyes of the Flyover People. I mean, how else can you explain a drumbeat of pieces such as this piece of shit?

Oh well, I guess the threat of being taken off of Barry's Super Secret Blackberry's BFF List is what is in play here.

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Moar Conservative Christians In The Mist

So. A Brown University student transferred to Liberty University for a semester to write a book. I love the headline - Ivy Leaguer "infiltrates" Falwell's University.. Because, you know, it takes Bondian skills to apply and attend.

Disclosure:  While I did not attend Liberty, I come from this background.  I was raised an Evangelical Christian.  I attended religious schools, including college.  In fact, Dr. Falwell was a friend of my parents.  So yeah, I tend to get a bit touchy about the whole "omg they are SUCH FREAKS" thing.  Sure, sure, I can say that but that's my family.  I'm allowed to talk smack.  Others aren't.

Of course, and I saw this coming from parsecs away, Our Intrepid Spy discovered that Evangelical Christians are people too! 

He lined up a publisher — Grand Central Publishing — and arrived at the Lynchburg campus prepared for "hostile ideologues who spent all their time plotting abortion clinic protests and sewing Hillary Clinton voodoo dolls."

Instead, he found that "not only are they not that, but they're rigorously normal."

You don't say.  I take great joy when those who pride themselves on tolerance reveal their own bigotry.  And I love the admission that he went into this with a very definite point of view only to find out he's a huge bigot.  Nom nom that's some tasty irony there.   

Look, it should be obvious that I don't particularly agree with Liberty's stance on the fact that I'm evil and going to hell for the whole sexuality thing.  But you know what?  Those horrible Evangelicals are some of the kindest, most helpful, most caring people I know.  They'll tell me that I'm going to hell and need saving while in the middle of helping me move, driving me around when my car breaks down, proving food and clothing after a fire, etc. etc. etc. 

Maybe, just maybe, those who shriek tolerance should practice some of it.  Just sayin'. 

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Behold The Glories Of The Nanny State, Clown Shoe Edition

So Alex, is this one time you approve of Nanny Statism?

When he returned to the circus he was told by management he could no longer wear the size-18 shoes because they compromised his health and safety.

Mr Kashkin features in the circus' reworking of the Rasputin tale, The Monk's Dream.

His routine includes dressing himself whilst walking on a wire, dress himself within a hoop of fire, and playing a drum-kit, trumpet and double-bass all at the same time.

But he is now worried performing in his regular sized footwear will lose impact on the audience.

Mr Kashkin, 40, from Temruk, Russia, said: "The shoes are an important part of my costume, and I was disappointed to be told I couldn't do this part of my act.

"I feel fine, and think I could do it in the shoes – the impact might be lost on the audience now."

Rejecting that it was a case of health and safety gone mad, Larry Dewitt, Health and Safety adviser to the circus said: "I'm not a believer in political correctness, or doing things for the sake of doing it however.

"You have to take a common-sense approach with these things – if it's stupid, don't do it."

Paul Archer, General Manager for the Moscow State Circus, said: "I think it will definitely detract from the visual aspect of the performance.

"It's very important because there's a language barrier to the whole performance, as it's in Russian."

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Pyongyang Archipelago

I wonder if the smartest administration in United States history is going to use some of their Smart Unicorn Diplomacy to get these U.S. citizens back from hell:

Two female American journalists face five years or more in a labour camp, after North Korea announced today that they would be prosecuted for allegedly crossing the Stalinist state’s border with China.

Euna Lee and Laura Ling, of the web-based channel Current TV, were arrested in mid-March while reporting from the Tumen River, which marks North Korea’s north-east border. They were investigating the plight of North Korean refugees and appear either to have crossed the border or been abducted from the Chinese side by Chinese soldiers.

Either way, they have now become pawns in a much larger international diplomatic game which has seen the North Korean leader, Kim Jong Il, defy the world by testing a long range nuclear missile and building a small arsenal of nuclear weapons.

After being held for five weeks in a North Korean state guest house, the two are now been formally prosecuted on unknown charges, possible espionage or “hostility toward North Koreans”, which carry a sentence of between five and ten years.

I wish Kim Jong Il read this sight so he could detect my "hostility toward [a] North Korean."

Kim Jong Il is the stupidest, most fucking useless piece of shit on earth and petty tyrants like him deserve only the justice of the noose.  Fuck that.  No noose.  Just tie a granny knot around his neck and let him choke it out.

Oh, and if I were in charge, the response to a tin-pot dictator like that imprisoning American citizens would be complete embargo combined with the PROMISE that anything even remotely resembling an aggresive action would be met with complete nuclear destruction. 

I'm so fucking tired of us getting pushed around by thugs. 

Moron Pundit for President: 2012

 Dead Bad Guys, Low Taxes, Bikini Chicks With Machine Guns

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...Winter for Poland and France

Sure, Iran, Afghanistan, Pakistan, and North Korea (to name a few) are the current global hot spots, but we might just want to keep an eye on this...

A clutch of political and labour leaders in Germany have raised the spectre of civil unrest after the country's leading institutes forecast a 6pc contraction of gross domestic product this year, a slump reminiscent of 1931 and bad enough to drive unemployment to 4.7m by 2010.
I'm just saying is all.

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April 23, 2009

Roll call time

Kansas Governor Kathleen Sebelius is suffering from the same lack of judgment in association as Ron Paul did with his acceptance of support of Stormfront, only more somore...

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Talking the talk

Silly rabbit, energy conservation is for teh proles:

To mark Earth Day, President Obama traveled to Iowa Wednesday to visit a plant that manufactures the towers for wind turbines. Mr. Obama touted the need for energy independence and warned, "All of us will have to use energy more wisely."

But a reporter with CBS calculated that the president's flights on Air Force One and Marine One consumed at least 9,116 gallons of fuel, which he could have been saved by giving his Earth Day speech at the White House. Of course, there aren't any wind turbines at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

That's okay, though, because I'm sure the carbon pumped into Mother Earth's fragile atmosphere by Obama's photo op was offset by his pure, radiant goodness. And pollution-eating unicorns. Yeah.

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Speaking of Queen Perez....

If you have a Twitter, please link this video, following Jim Treacher's example.

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Whenever I Start To Feel Blue, All I Need To Cheer Me Up Is A Naked Hippie Getting Tasered

And, sure enough, this "Wizard" gets a good dosage of justice.


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Well, The Twat Is Slowly Joining David Brooks In The RINO Heartache And Disappointment Crowd.

And that party room rented for this gathering is beginning to exceed the Fire Marshall's occupancy limit.

Seriously, Mr. Twat, were you surprised that Obama would bring about show trials of his opponents?

While the comments, complete with links to Jane Hamsher's site and the like, are comedic gold, the Twat's worries are as silly as usual.

Obama’s promises of unity and change could have meant – could still mean – a departure away from the tit-for-tat use of law as a weapon of politics of the previous generation. If however it turns out to mean an escalation of the use of law, be warned: this is one escalation that will not soon be de-escalated.

Give me a fucking break, Mr. Twat. Either you knew all along that Obama would and could break his promises and were willing to play the Useful Idiot Game, or were so blinded by his moobs, Klingon Wife's Level 5 Swordsmanship, and Harvard Law Somethingorother, that you willingly allowed yourself to ignore the hazzard lights ahead of you. Either way, fuckface, you are a fucking moron, and deserve to be nothing more than a guest poster over at  Kos. I seriously hope that selling your soul for that Newsweek article and MSNBC reacharound were worth it, because you have proven yourself once again to be stupider than the snowbillies and bitter clingers you despise and want to keep away from your yacht club with George Will and his yellow pants.


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Someone Shoots Dog in Colorado

No, the guy with the bad 80's hair and bear mace, not a canine.

This is obligatory brah,

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We All Need To Keep Our Traditions Intact

Thanks to home brewers in Germany, who are doing their part to keep the sacred tradition going.

German Agriculture Minister Ilse Aigner acted as “beer ambassador” in Berlin on Thursday, celebrating the hoppy occasion with the German Brewers Federation (DBB) and the DIRB beer purity institute by honouring the industry’s most engaged players.

While the DBB reports that Germany has the world’s most diverse beer market, a shrinking number of large brewers threatens this variety, Brauen.de said on Thursday.

“The beer variety shrank significantly in recent years, which also has to do the great market power of some large breweries,” the company said.

In the 18th and 19th centuries, high-calorie beer was considered a diet staple in Germany. But now large breweries filter beer to increase shelf life, decreasing its nutritional value.

“It’s no wonder that the trend is turning back to beer brewing like the mothers of old,” the company said, adding that home brewing could save Germany’s manifold beer tradition.

“More households in Germany are brewing their beer themselves,” home brewing supplier Dirk Oschmann said. “What often begins as a gag or a gift turns into a serious hobby combined with a multifaceted taste experience.”

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Don't try this at home, boys!

Just don't.

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Blind adoration

Yeah, I'm a day late in posting this.

“On this Holocaust Remembrance Day, and on the day when Ahmadinejad can stand up in Geneva at a UN conference on racism and be given an international podium to lash out his hate against Israel and America, I feel it is important to send you 4 letters written by a 20-year-old German girl to a penpal, my mother, in New Zealand, between the years 1933 and 1936. She did not know that my mother was Jewish, thus we have a rare opportunity to see the reaction of the "ordinary "German to the rise of Hitler. I have made bold these parts in blue, and you can see how the mundane chit chat of a young girl becomes more and more entwined with the overtones of the Nazi doctrines. The change in tone over the years in the German woman’s letters is telling and chilling as she describes her adoration and support of Hitler."
(h/t discarded lies)

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WTF is Wrong With Wisconsin: ... A lot.

I really don't have much to say about this story... except it really saddens me:

A 76-year-old man's right eye was surgically removed after he was beaten last week by a group of at least five people - including at least three teens - motivated by boredom and peer pressure, according to a criminal complaint filed Wednesday against one of the accused attackers.

J.T. Downs was pushing a cart through an alley in the 3300 block of N. 26th St. about 6 p.m. Friday when he was attacked, according to the complaint against 18-year-old Leroy Bentley III, who is charged with being party to the crime of aggravated battery.

According to the complaint:

Downs told police he was walking home when a 13-year-old boy ran up from behind, hit him in the back of the head and ran away.

The 13-year-old told investigators that he attacked Downs at the urging of his older cousin because the cousin thought he was "soft."

Downs continued pushing his cart and walked past a group of young males. One of the people offered to lend a cell phone so Downs could call police, but another person struck him near his right eye.

Downs told investigators he was then attacked by at least four other people, one of whom was later identified as a 15-year-old boy.

Downs went to the ground while he was beaten. All but one attacker eventually fled. According to the complaint, Downs said he told the remaining person, "Just go on and kill me!" The person told Downs to get up and go home, where he called police, the complaint says.

Bentley told police that he and others had chased and tripped people in the alley before.

Sickening.  Of course, it gets worse:

"He's a guy that doesn't bother nobody," said Roy Fayne, 71, who used to play softball with Downs. "I always told him to be careful, but everybody knew him and no one bothered him. The (neighborhood) kids know him, too."

I want to be angry but I'm just sad.  Where were the parents?  What type of children beat a man they KNOW because they are bored?  Why are they so bored when there should be many, many diversions for teenage boys? 

So many things have to be fucked up beyond recognition for this story to happen.  Terrible.

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Welcome back, Carter

I'm not an expert on foreign policy or politics (or anything, really, come to think of it) but when a significant part of the country thinks you're a wee bit soft on the "Death to America" crowd, well, this might not be a wise move...

The Obama administration has asked a federal judge to throw out a lawsuit against Iran filed by Americans held hostage at the U.S. Embassy in Tehran 30 years ago.

The request comes in a $6.6 billion class-action lawsuit filed in U.S. District Court in Washington. Fifty-two American diplomats and military officials were held captive for more than a year at the end of Jimmy Carter's presidency by a group of Islamist students who supported the Iranian revolution.


In court papers filed Tuesday night without any announcement, the Justice Department argued that the agreement to release the hostages, known as the Algiers Accords, precluded lawsuits against Iran.

I'll be the first to admit that I know jack shit about the Algiers Accords, but why have the DOJ step in and ask the judge to throw out the lawsuit? If it has no merit under the terms of the accords, the plaintiffs would likely lose, right?

Why, it's almost as if there was some other rationale at work here. Some kind of "smart diplo-something-or-other" rationale, perhaps. No, that's just paranoid wingnut nonsense. Racist, too, probably.

Oh, and this is just awesome:

"The gratitude of the United States for the service and dedication of these brave individuals cannot be overstated, nor can the suffering and abuse they endured on behalf of this country be exaggerated; these matters are beyond dispute," the Justice Department wrote in its filing.

The article doesn't go on to mention the massive "but" (heh heh heh) that likely follows that statement, but it does mention that the lawsuit claims that the hostages were beaten, threatened with death, and tortured. I'm guessing that torture probably didn't involve putting panties on their heads or smearing them with fake menstrual blood. But again, I'm not an expert.

(Via Jeff G.)

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I Have No Idea What This Is, But It Is Awesome!

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Nice To See China Values Human Rights

And this is a surprise to anybody?

Several portions of the book were leaked onto the internet and have caused a furore. "Who put it up on the net? How did internal material come to be discussed outside?" the unnamed official asked the newspaper.

The published sections of the manual explain that officers must quell any dispute swiftly. "Without letting go of the subject, several officers shall act together and in a single move take the individual under bodily control," it said. "Each action must be effective so as not to give the subject any pause for breath."

The manual also told officers they should not consider whether they are a physical match for the subject or whether they could harm the subject. "You must become a resolute law enforcer staunchly protecting the dignity of city administrative regulations," it reportedly said.

Zhao Yang, a junior officer in Nanjing told the Southern Metropolis Daily: "These things used to be spread by word of mouth, but now they're out in the open. Things like how to protect yourself and how to hit people."

In Shanghai, hawkers said they had heard of several cases of abuse by the Chengguan, who they described as generally uneducated thugs. Chen Juan, a 28-year-old hawker who sells trinkets and hairbands, said: "They are different throughout the city. The ones near the centre of town are very violent. They do not always beat you up, but they intimidate us and usually confiscate and stomp on our goods. I was once chased down the street by a gang of them and that left me quite rattled."

However, another vendor, who asked not to be named, said it was easy to "play the game", suggesting that casual bribery took care of most problems.

"The problem is that many hawkers are doing this because they have nothing else. So when the Chengguan confiscate their goods, they put up a fight. That's why they get beaten up."

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Paging Samuel L Jackson...

Well, it may not be snakes, but it's just as creepy.

"It was a bit fraught ... Two of them broke their head-ropes and began thrashing around. The plane was shaking. The pilot was turning and raising his eyebrows.

"We gave them a muscle relaxant to calm them down. But they're big animals - when they do move, there's an impact. There's a lot of power there."

The crocodiles eventually calmed down, and the flight landed at Whenuapai Airbase about midnight on Tuesday.

The Air Force Hercules was used to fly the crocs as it was the only available plane with enough room and it was returning to New Zealand from Asia, via Darwin.

Butterfly Creek, which is at Auckland Airport, was not charged for the flight, but Mr Dowsett hopes to host Air Force staff for a meal to thank them for their help.

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