Taxes In The Bay Area Must Really Be Out Of Control

Especially if Pete Stark is trying to dodge the taxes.

Stark's homestead exemption was first reported yesterday by Bloomberg News. The congressman is the second-ranking member of the House Ways and Means Committee and chairs its health subcommittee, which writes tax legislation affecting health care.

Stark said yesterday that he expected Maryland to reject his application for a homestead exemption. "From what I hear from everybody, it will be denied and my taxes will go up," he said. He said he expects his $12,500 annual property tax bill to increase by about $3,000.

 

Posted by: eddiebear at 09:17 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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For Some Reason, Bowling Is In The News Today

But I bet this is not the primary reason why.

. – Police said a dispute over bowling etiquette led one man to assault another with a 16-pound ball, knocking out one of the man's teeth. They said a 24-year-old man hit a man in the face with the bowling ball during a melee involving six bowlers at the Rocklin AMF Lanes. Two groups got into a fist fight about 12:40 a.m. Thursday after two bowlers approached the lane at the same time. They couldn't agree which should go first.

Rocklin police Sgt. Terry Jewell said the victim was treated for facial injuries at a local hospital. Doctors reinserted the tooth, hoping it will reattach itself.

Posted by: eddiebear at 09:01 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Produce Advice For Alex

Stay out of Whole Foods Stores.

One of the most deadly spiders in the world has been found in the produce section of a Tulsa grocery store. An employee of Whole Foods Market found the Brazilian Wandering Spider Sunday in bananas from Honduras and managed to catch it in a container.

The spider was given to University of Tulsa Animal Facilities director Terry Childs who said this type of spider kills more people than any other.

Childs said a bite will kill a person in about 25 minutes and while there is an antidote he doesn't know of any in the Tulsa area.

Posted by: eddiebear at 08:55 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Attitude of Entitlement

You have got to be fucking kidding me.

Corporate America has an attitude of entitlement?  How can this communist fucker say this with a straight face? 

Try this logic.  The people in corporate America work.  This work entitles them to compensation. 

On the other hand, people that don't work aren't entitled to anything.  Except, apparently, hundreds of billions of dollars.  For that matter, isn't Obama the one who's all gung ho for giving them all this money?  How do you think that modifies their obviously evil sense of entitlement? 

Fuck you.

Also, Nancy Pelosi tells me its unAmerican to enforce immigration laws.  So, it is unAmerican to enforce laws enacted by the democratic process of the United States now?  Who knew.  Let's try it with some other types of laws:

• It is unAmerican to enforce child labor laws.
• It is unAmerican to enforce civil rights laws.
• It is unAmerican to enforce workplace safety laws.

How about this?  It is unAmerican to be a terrifying Cunt Lich. 

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 08:10 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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Headline of the day

Obama cracks jokes on Tonight Show - says Geithner is outstanding

Posted by: Sean M. at 09:46 PM | Comments (12) | Add Comment
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The obligatory: Obama compares his bowling to the Special Olympics

This is an insult to Special Olympics bowlers, because I can guarantee they can knock down pins a hell of a lot better than the Fresh Prez of Bill Ayers.  Seriously, he's about the most pathetic bowler I've ever witnessed,

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 09:39 PM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
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Keith Olbermann's Ag School Diploma Must Mean He Is Wicked Smart

I mean, only Ivy Leaguers can possess this level of intelligence.

JAY LENO, HOST: Can I ask you a dumb question? Is this -- it's called. what, American Insurance Group? Is that the name?

KEITH OLBERMANN, "COUNTDOWN" HOST: I believe that's it, yes.

LENO: Is this even an American company, or is this one of these sort of things when you're chopping down trees, you call yourself the Evergreen Preservation Society? You know, I mean --

OLBERMANN: It's a brand name.

LENO: Is it even American at all?

OLBERMANN: It probably was at some point.

Posted by: eddiebear at 09:12 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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How MP really feels in visual form

Posted by: alexthechick at 09:09 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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Obama's Fault: Fuck AIG

But fuck the hypocritical, grandstanding, populist cocksuckers in Congress  more.  Besides being an obviously unconstitutional, ex post facto bill of retainder, it also (with Rethuglican help, I might add) allows the completely inept Obama administration to dodge responsibility for the existence of these bonuses in the motherfucking first place.

Now everyone can pat themselves on the fucking back for gouging a stick in the eye of the AIG executives while ignoring the fact they spent that tenth of a percent of the money they were handed by our cleptocrats at the FUCKING BEHEST OF THE LAWS AND PEOPLE GIVING THEM THE FUCKING MONEY.

Seriously, am I dreaming? 

Most of these companies are behind on their taxes.  Half the people giving them our tax money are behind on their taxes.  Nobody seems to have any fucking clue where this money is going while the number of backs being scratched and special deals is starting to seem outright impossible.

This would all be comical if it weren't (seemingly... that green beer may have broken my brain) reality.  I mean, ACORN is involved in the fucking census!  A man who pledged to never sign a budget with any earmarks in it blows his load on one with over 8000 and the top story is about some dipshit actress hitting her head on a ski hill*?

Seriously?  Is this Bizarro World?  Where's my retarded Super Man?  In this strange world is Ace banging Giselle and Tom Brady works at a laundromat?

See, here's the way I see it.  All of the novelists who envisioned a postapocalyptic nightmare always saw government or corporations or science as the instigators of societal collapse but I think it is clear what the true impetus for the funniest (most absurd) end of civilization ever.

The media. 

I don't even have the words to describe the contradictions and absurdity I see every time I watch the news.  Cramer and Stewart are fighting about who's smarter:  the guy who suggested we buy bank stocks at the end of 2008 or the guy that thinks its just fucking AWESOME to spend several trillion dollars on... I don't know... umm.. whatever  the Fresh Prez suggests.  Its sickening.  I have your solution.    You're both retarded.

Then Captain Teleprompter gives the head of our closest ally a Columbia membership that doesn't even FUCKING WORK IN EUROPE.  HOW IS THIS NOT THE ONION? 

I defy you to open your newspaper and tell me it isn't the Onion.  That red button in Russia that said "Overcharge" on it?  This CANNOT BE OBJECTIVE REALITY.  The gibbering shitstains really can not be our leadership.  Can they?  How does this happen?

And don't get me started on how much rage is being generated by "my own side."  Seriously, I think we're in sad shape if any of the people suggested are the "speakers for the party."  In fact, if every elected or appointed participant in the federal government was whisked away to the island in Lost, I can't for the life of me imagine a scenario where that hurts the country.  These people are the worst of us, not our leaders.  How fucked up does the world have to be for Nancy Pelosi or Harry Reid or Barrack "57 States" Obama or fucking Matt Damon to be taken seriously in any capacity whatsoever.

Its enough to threaten a man's convictions regarding Democracy.  I mean, if this is what democracy begets, I'd rather have heredity lines.  At least then there is the possibility of sustained non-retarded leadership.  Even in-breeding doesn't account for the kind of rank stupidity I now see from our "enlightened" classes.  Who would you rather have at Treasury?  Geithner or that banjo kid from Deliverance?  Dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum.

And all through this comedy of bad decisions (not errors, they were made with intent) the media cheers and distracts and dances along to the tune of our Incompetent In Chief.  Nauseating. 

So yeah, fuck all of 'em.  In the asses.  With that guy from new Wolverine movie as the dildo. 

* - I really mean that.  Fuck that story.  Who cares?

P.S. - I know I spelled a bunch of shit wrong.  I don't care.  I do what I want.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 05:35 PM | Comments (13) | Add Comment
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Even More Domestic Advice

When you are getting ready to go to work and can't find your cell phone, calling it from your landline is a good idea. But if you do that, just hope that the phone wasn't accidentally left in your still-sleeping daughter's room.

That is, unless you want the youngster to wake up.

Just sayin'.

Posted by: eddiebear at 02:07 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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A tale of two crises

Remember how Bush was an unserious idiot who couldn't keep focused on the Middle East because he was too busy playing golf (i.e. "Now watch this drive.")?  That was just scandalous, wasn't it?

But the Bush years are behind us, we have other challenges now, it's time to look forward, and ZOMG did you see Obama's bracket picks?!!!

Yeah.

Posted by: Sean M. at 11:46 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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The RedEye crew goofs on David Frum

Mwahahahaaaa,

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 11:00 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Shocka! Enviro-Wacko Is No Fan Of Democracy

Remember when Rush said that the Green movement was the home of displaced Communists? Well, it appears as though we may have found one more, and it is none other than that guy from NASA.

James Hansen, a climate modeller with Nasa, told the Guardian today that corporate lobbying has undermined democratic attempts to curb carbon pollution. "The democratic process doesn't quite seem to be working," he said.

Speaking on the eve of joining a protest against the headquarters of power firm E.ON in Coventry, Hansen said: "The first action that people should take is to use the democratic process. What is frustrating people, me included, is that democratic action affects elections but what we get then from political leaders is greenwash.

"The democratic process is supposed to be one person one vote, but it turns out that money is talking louder than the votes. So, I'm not surprised that people are getting frustrated. I think that peaceful demonstration is not out of order, because we're running out of time."

Posted by: eddiebear at 10:53 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Moron of the Day: Missing Details

I am suspicious that an important detail is missing from this story:

Police said a 27-year-old man was arrested on Saturday after he was found passed out in his vehicle in a restaurant drive-through. Police said they found the man behind the wheel with his 4-year-old daughter in the running car.

Authorities said the man was arrested on a charge of failure to be in control of the vehicle. He also faces a charge of driving under suspension.

One hyphenated word:  Val-U-Rite.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 09:58 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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The media's ten favorite "Republican" pundits

Someone had to do the list, so here it is.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 09:57 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Funny joke

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

"I have complete confidence in Tim Geithner and my entire economic team," Obama said with Geithner at his side on the White House South Lawn.

Oh, wait, he's not kidding.  Crap.

Posted by: Sean M. at 08:27 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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Since I keep thinking it's Friday

I'm taking a mini vacation this week (ie sitting on my couch watching basketball for four days straight), so this was my Friday.  Which is v v confusing.  Anyway, since I think it's Friday, I thought I'd post some Friday Night Pr0n. 



You know what?  I don't care how good or bad it is, Wolverine is just going to be pure and utter snickety snickety pretty boy porn.  I'm spectacularly fine with that.
 

Posted by: alexthechick at 08:11 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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Where's the outrage?

I don't pay much attention to the financial news, mainly because I'm usually broke and lately, it's all bad news all the time, but I saw this and it pisses me off a lot more than the AIG shenanigans:

Fannie Mae is planning to pay retention bonuses of as much as $611,000 each to several top executives of the government-controlled mortgage finance titan. Sibling company Freddie Mac is planning similar awards.

So, the geniuses who got us into the mortgage mess by giving people who had no business owning homes toxic loans (I know, RAAAAAACIST!!!) are getting hundreds of thousands in bonus money?  I can't wait to hear the shrieks of outrage from the usual suspects.

Posted by: Sean M. at 08:04 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Some Domestic Advice

When cooking something using your wife's good Corning Ware, taking the extremely hot glass lid straight from the oven and placing it in the kitchen sink is dangerous enough. Accidentally running cold water on it makes it quite explode-y.

Just sayin'.

But, at least I get to stimulate the Corning Ware business tonight by buying a new set, so I have that going for me.

Posted by: eddiebear at 06:30 PM | Comments (12) | Add Comment
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Insert Bob Dylan Joke Here

But keep it toilet related.

A family living near the 67-year-old folk and rock icon's house in the posh California beachside community of Malibu have complained to city officials about an outdoor portable toilet, which is apparently used by guards on Dylan's compound.

Cindy and David Emminger say the toilet wafts fumes from waste treatment chemicals, and that the smell makes their family feel ill.

Posted by: eddiebear at 03:00 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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