Funny how your associates change when you're in the slammer.

Phil Spector used to take calls from Tina Turner and John Lennon, but now the only person who wants to work with him is mass murderer Charles Manson.
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‘He said he considers Philip the greatest producer who ever lived. It was creepy. Philip didn’t respond.’

Posted by: Alice H at 07:16 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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If this guy just read this moronblog, he could have been saved the trouble because he would have known which end to insert.

Posted by: Alice H at 06:02 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Funny story, and obviously we all thank Col. Moak for his service.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 09:57 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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While at the theater this afternoon to see the newest Harry Potter film, I saw a preview for an upcoming piece of crap titled 2012.   How can I be so certain it will suck?  Let me count the ways:

It's directed by Roland Emmerich, who should be in prison for crimes against celluloid.  Bastard.  He's spent over a half-billion dollars making three of the worst movies ever (Godzilla, Day after Tomorrow, and the execrable 10,000 BC). 

It's a disaster movie, which were pretty much all tapped out in the late 70's.

It's directed by Roland Emmerich, whose talent for destroying movies has only been thwarted once thanks to Will Smith, who is a latter-day David Hasselhoff.  Smith even overcame a smirking Jeff Goldblum, though it's not clear how this was done (I suspect performnace-enhancing drugs).

It stars John Cusak, the least-talented of the Cusak acting clan/crime family.

It was written by Roland Emmerich, which ensures that it will conform to the same rigorous accuracy and believeability we've come to enjoy in his other films, like The Patriot or TDAT.

It's based on a Mayan prophecy that the world will end in 2012, which gets much play from conspiracy theorists who believe that aliens built all the ancient civilizations.  Stupid Mayans.

Did I mention it has the big dirty fingerprints of the worst director currently working, Roland Emmerich?  Did you know he once cast Ferris Buller as the lead in a monster movie?

So please, please, please avoid this movie at all costs.  I got stupider just watching the trailer for it.

Posted by: plebian at 10:54 PM | Comments (15) | Add Comment
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Posted by: Alice H at 10:59 AM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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and because injury is funny, as evidenced by the side-splitting clip eddiebear posted earlier. Which is infinitely funnier than this one, by the way, but this is still pretty funny.

Posted by: Alice H at 09:40 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Posted by: plebian at 11:09 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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For those of you uninterested in the disgruntled rantings of an old codger, just go on.  If, however, you are unhappy with the current state of affairs today, perhaps you will find solace in my complaints.
 
more...

Posted by: plebian at 10:40 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Posted by: Alice H at 09:33 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Seriously, worst tattoo ever.  Especially when you realize that you're not looking at what you think you're looking at.  Behind the cut for bad taste.

Pic courtesy of myconfinedspace.  That's a completely, totally NSFW link, by the way.
more...

Posted by: Alice H at 10:54 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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Customers who arrive on bicycle or who can prove they took public transportation get a 5-euro ($7) discount from the usual 70-euro ($100) fee for 45 minute sessions, Mr Goetz said. He said the environmentally friendly offer was working a charm.

Posted by: Alice H at 10:54 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Did you hear that Sotomayor is a big Yankees fan?

That's a good thing because they need a good lefty off the bench.*

... 

Tip your waitresses.

* - From Conan.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 10:40 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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I'm thinking this guy just wanted an alibi as to why he downed a couple of brewskis in Mormon country.

Posted by: Alice H at 02:01 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Goofy little video. 

Thanks to The Unrepentant Geek.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 07:58 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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I can't even begin to express how much I hope this is real. 

Posted by: Alice H at 02:24 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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• Signed a recent letter to the President of Spain, "Well, back to the beaches in Puerto Rico.  Too bad you can't be here!"
• Reacted to a crying American Indian by saying, "Don't be sad, we love Florida.  Here's a tissue."
• While at cocktails with the Mexican ambassador, "As I always say, the Gadsden was a GadSEND!  Get it?  Get it?  We won."
• In a recent gift exchange with Great Britain's leadership, he presented an enormouse novelty bill for World War Two, "It wasn't called Give-Keep for a reason."

Its like watching retards fuck.

* - Inspired by this post.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 02:21 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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 I recently asked my friends' little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President some day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, 'If you were President what would be the first thing you would do? ' 
        
        She replied, 'I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people.' 
        
        Her parents beamed. 
        
        'Wow...what a worthy goal.' I told her, 'But you don't have to wait until you're President to do that.. You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and rake my yard, and I'll pay you $50. 
        
        Then I'll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house. ' 
        
        She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, ' Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50? 
        
        I said, 'Welcome to the Republican Party.' 

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 01:35 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Posted by: plebian at 01:59 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Which one of you morons was protesting the death of Billy Mays by disrobing on a US Airways flight?

Update: bumping for awesomeness.  Now we have photos.

Posted by: Alice H at 11:36 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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"but in the early 90s, it was a different world. We were still waiting for the Real Player to even start buffering, 56k dial-up was considered screaming fast, and our online porn arrived in ASCII art or .gif files that took an hour to download. (Er, I heard from some guy, because I never would have even dreamed of looking at Kimberly Conrad online in 1992.)"

Word.  Uphill both ways in the snow to get the necessary interpretations of the Bible, people.  You whippersnappers have no idea how good you have it.  Also GET OFF MY LAWN.

(Actually the context is pretty interesting.)

Posted by: alexthechick at 09:17 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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