December 30, 2008

A Bitter Clinger Really Wanted His Extra Syrup In The Dispenser Today!

And this is what happens when he doesn't get his way.

A man became disorderly at the Hess Express on Jonestown Road in Lower Paxton Twp. today after he complained that there wasn't any syrup in the Diet Pepsi dispenser, police said.

About 12:15 p.m., a customer went to the store's clerk and loudly complained of the lack of syrup. He also insisted his lottery ticket was worth a dollar when it was actually for a free drink, police said.

The man was ordered out of the store but proceeded to back his car into the clerk, who tried to take a camera phone picture of his license plate, police said. The clerk was not injured.

 

Posted by: eddiebear at 09:58 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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December 22, 2008

In lieu of actual content

I bring you one of my favorite commercials ever.



Don't lie.  I know y'all car dance.  I know it. 

Posted by: alexthechick at 10:01 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Seattle Fans+Snow+Opposing Team=Internet Awesomeness!

Looks like some football players might need a refresher on how to throw a snowball.

Posted by: eddiebear at 02:15 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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December 21, 2008

"Guhzizzah dilznoofuses!"

God, I miss Phil Hartman...


Posted by: Sean M. at 08:45 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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December 18, 2008

Congrats!

Treacher has a special congratulatory message for the president-elect.

Posted by: Sean M. at 07:58 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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Is this old?

Yeah, but it's both seasonal and funny as hell.  Enjoy.


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December 15, 2008

I Thought Zookeepers Knew What To Feed Animals

You would have thought they knew that a bunch of primates eating sprouts would lead to this, but I guess not.

'Sprouts can cause bouts of flatulence in animals and humans. But I don't think any of us were prepared for a smell that strong,' said Michael Riozzi of Chessington Zoo in Surrey.

Posted by: eddiebear at 11:38 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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December 14, 2008

A cherished Christmas classic

You might not want to play this at work or in front of any little kids...


Posted by: Sean M. at 07:13 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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December 11, 2008

Turkey Day at Blago's

Matthew Continetti of The Weekly Standard has, um, found some additional pages from the Feds' criminal complaint against the disgraced Illinois Governor:

111 a. On or about November 27, 2008, ROD BLAGOJEVICH, his wife and daughters, and BLAGOJEVICH's chief of staff JOHN HARRIS ate Thanksgiving dinner together. BLAGOJEVICH's wife asked BLAGOJEVICH to "please pass the potatoes." BLAGOJEVICH asked what his wife was willing to give him for "the f---ing potatoes" because "these f---ing things aren't f---ing cheap." HARRIS said that BLAGOJEVICH's wife might donate $250,000 to Friends of Blagojevich in exchange for the potatoes.
Heh. Read the whole thing.

Posted by: Sean M. at 09:02 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Best mall Santa pics evar

The right mix of creepy and hilarious.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 08:35 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Santa May Not Be Around This Winter

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December 10, 2008

The more you know

Veeshir sends this along....yeah, it's probably old, it's still funny,



(h/t)

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 11:06 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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December 09, 2008

Candidates Line Up to Replace Blagovich

With Democratic leaders calling for indicted Illinois Governor Rod Blagovich to resign, it seems clear that a runoff election will soon be coming to the Land of Lincoln.  As such, numerous would-be Governors are flooding the state with applications to make sure that they can get a shot at being governor of the incoming president's home state.
 
The current leading candidate is former NFL star OJ Simpson, who hopes his experience outrunning federal prosecutors will allow him to avoid the fate of the last two governors.
 
Also expressing interest is longtime Democratic standard-bearer Al Gore, who feels that the state's proximity to the water and several fine all-you-can-eat buffets makes it the optimum location to continue hectoring citizens about the coming global apocalypse.
 
A popular dark horse candidate is California Governor and Republican Arnold Swartzenegger, although he would like to churn out a few more wretched movies before driving another state into the ground.
 
Bill Clinton has been mentioned as a possible successor, but politely declined, saying he's holding out for something more prestigious than a mere governorship, perhaps working with young, ambitious men and women, helping them learn vital skills that will help them succeed in business and politics in the future.
 
Most surprising of all, though, is that former Illinois senator Barack Obama has tossed his hat into the ring, saying that not only does he love campaigning, but he also hopes to burnish his meager credentials with some executive experience before trying to make the jump "to prime time."

Posted by: plebian at 05:44 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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December 08, 2008

Rowdy Roddy Douchebag

A facecocking that is well overdue.  Inspired by this almost unbelievable bullshit.

http://www.m0r0n.com/DPUD/roddy.jpg

Hopefully our friends at Justice have gotten enough out of Rezko to put this motherfucker away for a few decades.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 02:27 PM | Comments (15) | Add Comment
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December 06, 2008

Maybe St. Andi WIll Want To Take Up The Outdoors Life Now

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December 02, 2008

Nelson Muntz Ha Ha Award Winner: Steve Jobs

Aww, wittle Macs not immune to viruses?  HA HA.

...mac/PC flamewar in 3...2...

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 12:35 PM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
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December 01, 2008

Encancerated*

You'd think that people, upon sight of the charred human wreckage left in his wake, might consider avoiding insulting and attacking Mark Steyn.

You'd be wrong.

* - From the Latin, "Encancerate" meaning to be struck with such ferocity that one is immediately diagnosed with cancer. To demonstrate, I provide you this example:

 

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 12:53 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Holiday Humor

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

"In honor of this holy season" Saint Peter said,  "You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "It represents a candle", he said.

"You may pass through the pearly gates" Saint Peter said.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells."

Saint Peter said "You may pass through the pearly gates".

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and  finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.

St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow a and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?"

The man replied, "These are Carols."

And So The Christmas Season Begins......

Posted by: conservativebelle at 07:08 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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