November 22, 2009

This Made Me Feel Better

When discussing over at Volokh whether or not Obama is a jihadi, the greatest comment in recent memory came along.

Posted by: eddiebear at 12:15 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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November 20, 2009

Software Developers Rejoice!

If you're anything like me, you've been consistently frustrated by the fact that the only place you can buy indulgences in the modern world relate to carbon dioxide.  As a programmer I often think, wouldn't it be great if I could spend money to be forgiven for all the bad code I've written in my life? 

Well, if you feel the same way, wait no longer!

I have never written a bad line of code.

When I tell people that, they often scoff and offer replies like “so you’re not a programmer then?” and “let me guess, you’re a coding deity or something?” Well let me say, I am a programmer and I am not Codethulu, but in the same manner that Al Gore can fly around the world in a private jet without polluting, I have negated my bad code footprint through the purchase of Bad Code Offsets.

Get yours today and become a flawless programmer!  This is going to look so good on my resume!

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 10:05 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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November 19, 2009


(Ripped off from roamingfirehydrant at The H2.)

Posted by: Sean M. at 09:15 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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November 18, 2009

Finally, comment spam that SPEAKS to me!

uggs outlet all you face-cockers out there should entry

If only GMail's context-sensitive advertisements could pigeon-hole me so accurately!

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 09:44 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 26 words, total size 1 kb.

November 17, 2009

ESPN Sets Up Plantation?, the online branch of the sports multimedia empire, finally realized its dream yesterday of achieving a segregated site, sending its minority columnists to the back of the website in a new tab called "Commentary" and setting up the plantation that it has long desired. 

Michael Kinsley, who until recently no one had ever heard of, made the announcement in a post on the reconfigured Page 2 on Monday, insisting that this was not "a breakup."

Kinsley said that the contributors who are moving will be joined by "thought leaders and sports stakeholders with diverse, insightful points of view."  Diversity at ESPN is now not to be found on Page 2, which is once again the sole province of white misogynist Bill Simmons and his band of merry white men.

Columnists who have been sent to the Commentary Plantation include Jemele Hill, LZ Granderson, and Scoop Jackson, the only African-American columinists on Page 2, whose work had until now largely focused on social and minority issues pertinent to athletics.  Two white columinsts were also moved.

Kinsley also offered the possibly racially-tinged charge that Commentary "will be the ears of, too."  Barack Obama, America's first African-American president, is well known to have big ears.


Posted by: plebian at 04:19 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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“President Obama” = “I Resent A Bad Mop”

And 32 other apropos anagrams.  I'm sure we can come up with at least one more, especially given that IHTM stayed away from profanity.

Posted by: Alice H at 01:00 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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November 15, 2009

Chris Matthews interviews Hasan

You could call it parody, but we all know this is exactly how the interview would go.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 09:23 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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November 10, 2009

New "Contract with America"

Republican chairman Michael Steele today unrolled the GP's effort to recapture the House and Senate in the 2010 mid-terms by revealing his "Contract with America", a revival of the 1994 document that Newt Gingrich used to wrestle Congress away from the Democrats.

"We are promising a new dawning of politics in this country, and this is the manifesto that's going to show Americans what conservatism is all about!" Steele said during an appearance on MSNBC.

"We want to reassure women that they are important to the Republican party," Steele said.  "That's why we advocate changing the gender pronoun from Women, which currently makes them seem subservient by the repitition of the male gender pronoun, to Breeding Systems, which more accurately represents how we view them."

He went on to say that "the new contract also addresses health care for our most at-risk citizens.  Specifically, it says that we want the working poor, children, and the elderly exposed to harmful diseases as much as possible to thin their ranks.

"We want to acknowledge the changing beliefs of this country by modifying the pledge of allegiance to be 'one nation under a white God.'  We want to tackle the issue of immigration by forcing them to live in ghettos and making it legal for vigilante groups to hunt illegals on the borders like wild animals."

Steele also said that "We want to ease regulations on big businesses to allow them to pollute directly into aquifers and virgin forests, and we want to raze orphanages to make way for high-rises and luxury condos.

"And we promise to start three new wars every year until the world is subjugated at our feet.  This is the new Republican party!  Can I get a fist bump over here?"

Posted by: plebian at 04:16 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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November 09, 2009

My weekend

At the risk of wearing out my welcome, I'm gonig to whore out my own blog here.  But I defend it with the following arguments:  I posted something earlier exclusively here, and I would post this here but they're super-duper long and it's always been my custom to keep my personal stuff over on my own blog.

Now that the excuse-a-tizing is out of the way, here's how my first weekend alone with the darlings went:

Saturday morning I found out all about the house at night.

Saturday evening we went to a party.

Sunday was not without its charm, especially when the heavens opened and God took pity upon me.

Monday I went to work, or as I call it, a mini-vacation from my wife's hellish spawn.

Posted by: plebian at 05:17 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Dear Plebian

Its time once again for that font of extreme knowledge to answer the questions that have been building up in my e-mail inbox.  So let's get right to it:

Posted by: plebian at 12:29 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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November 08, 2009

Old and Busted - William Shatner "Rocket Man" New Hotness - Christopher Walken "Poker Face"

Christopher Walken does a dramatic reading of Lady GaGa's "Poker Face" on the BBC's "Friday Night with Jonathon Ross".

For once NY Magazine actually has a suggestion that makes sense:

If the whole acting thing doesn't work out, Walken already has an entire sideline in reading things. How great would "Christopher Walken Presents: The Bible" be, for example?


Posted by: chad98036 at 12:34 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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November 06, 2009

A little levity

On an otherwise serious day, here's a little levity: my wife, possibly suffering from mental illness, has left me at home alone with the kids for ten days.  Mwu-hahahaha! 

I know it's been a gazillion years since I posted regularly, but I thought it might be fun to chronicle the ups and downs.  Plus, without her nagging me to do stuff, I have all kinds of free time (I kid!).

Posted by: plebian at 11:41 AM | Comments (12) | Add Comment
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November 04, 2009

The difference between us and them

Them:  Two armed active-duty fighters killed by angry bear, possibly over pic-a-nic basket.  Two others missing, wounded, and presumed scared.

Us:  Ex-soldier kills bear with a freaking log.

Are you absolutely sure you want to continue to screw with us?

Posted by: plebian at 05:38 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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