link

(h/t)

Posted by: Alice H at 04:51 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Posted by: eddiebear at 12:05 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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And I thought I was pathetic:

A stuttering Nigerian man, who says he can’t find a girlfriend, has announced that he plans to marry his pillow instead.

Get down, man!

Okeke Ikechuku told the Daily Metro that his stammer makes it difficult for him to speak to girls who laugh at him whenever he talks, Ananova reports. 

But, the 26-year-old from Lagos admits that he has needs and wants a companion to sleep with. So, Ikechuku says he will marry his pillow because he has been sleeping with it since he was 16 and has fallen in love with it.

No word on whether he'll require the pillow to always wear a case in public.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 09:34 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Remember Lavonne Drummond, the darling gal from Arkansas who was auctioning off her unborn baby's name?  Apparently Ebay is trying to save her from herself - her auction has been pulled three times, including once with a high bid of $15,000.  Yep, that's right, we're in the middle of a fucking recession and someone bid Fifteen. Thousand. DOLLARS. to name a baby they've never met. 

Lavonne is even willing to toss in visitation with the child to the lucky winner of the name auction.  Now that's devotion!

Due to cost considerations, she hasn't consulted an attorney to investigate whether she can recoup her loss.  Surely a moron lawyer somewhere is willing to help out this poor unfortunate soul!

Posted by: Alice H at 09:26 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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I know that there are a few Glenn Beck fans here but this video is priceless. Watch the panel member's faces when he starts doing his tree diagram on the blackboard. They look like someone served them turd sandwiches for lunch.

Posted by: chad98036 at 04:39 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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The health care "debate" is causing me to drink heavily and according to this booze calculator I'll be dead by Saturday.


So if my posting drops off, you'll know why.

Hmmm, maybe that's their plan? Get vast swathes of America to kill itself over all the lies our oh so honest political betters are spewing to reduce the costs.
Of course what they haven't factored in is that's the most productive part of America so tax revenues (except for a temporary infusion of death taxes) will go down.



(H/T Tex)

Posted by: Veeshir at 12:48 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Make sure you're totally shitfaced:

A 20-year-old woman was seriously injured early Thursday morning when she fell from the fifth-story window of the Spanish Towers apartments, in the 800 block of 29th Street, according to Boulder police.

Boulder police spokeswoman Sarah Huntley said the woman, whose name was not released because police are still investigating the incident, "sustained serious bodily injury but is expected to recover."

The woman, who had traveled to Colorado from California to visit her older sister, had consumed "a couple of tequila shots, at least two lemonade vodka drinks and probably a couple of beers" at a rooftop party at the Spanish Towers, Huntley said.

She said the older sister told police she "believed her sister was not heavily intoxicated."

UhhhBULLSHIT. 

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 12:03 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Sadly a better, more compelling story than the actual movie

Posted by: chad98036 at 11:08 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Cheap but funny
The only thing that puts me off a little is how they taught him that.
Since dogs work best with negative reinforcement, I figure they either forced him to listen to Glen Beck and Sean Hannity or they beat him.

I'm not sure which is worse.
(h/t XRLQ)
more...

Posted by: Veeshir at 01:28 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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source

Posted by: chad98036 at 10:58 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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She's taking "Post that ends in XX gets to name my..." to a whole new level.

An Arkansas woman is offering the opportunity to name her seventh child to the highest bidder, starting at $150. The unemployed mother of six has posted an auction on eBay in hopes that she will receive enough money to buy a "trustworthy" car and to relieve her sister's burden of supporting her cash-strapped family.

Posted by: Alice H at 10:22 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Man, it's getting angry out there. So I'm going to kill two birds with one stone.
Make you laugh


I love that commercial.
And explain my stupidity about youtube videos.

more...

Posted by: Veeshir at 04:55 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Posted by: plebian at 02:56 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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But somehow, one escaped.

From Don'tJudgeMyHair, since I think we all need a laugh today.

Posted by: Alice H at 05:52 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Thanks to my inside sources at the White House*, I was able to receive a transcript of the Beer Summit that took place yesterday between President Barack Obama, VP Joe Biden, scholar Henry Louis Gates, and police officer James Crowley.  Here's how it all went down:

* = which is to say, I'm pretty sure this is what they probably said.

Posted by: plebian at 01:39 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Now that's funny.
Apparently, contrary to popular screaming opinion, Mac's do get viruses.

And Oh Noes! It's the Uber-Mac, the Holy Mac, the iPhone.
quote
Security experts have uncovered flaws in Apple Inc's iPhone that they said hackers can exploit to take control of the popular device, using the tactic for identity theft and other crimes.

I think you know what that calls for, you'll have to hit more because I don't want to break the blog. I think this will work.
more...

Posted by: Veeshir at 06:01 PM | Comments (20) | Add Comment
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If Ted Kennedy can leave a girl at the bottom of the Chappaquiddick, I don't see why a little domestic assault charge is gonna hurt Stormy Daniels. 

Posted by: Alice H at 02:52 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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IN a surprising announcement, highly-touted pollster Zigby today said that President Obama’s healthcare plan showed a sudden surge, giving hope to the beleaguered president and his congressional allies.  Support for the single-payer plan increased to 55% of those surveyed between July 24 and 27, with those under 35 now favoring the plan by an overwhelming 3 to 1 margin despite fervent Republican efforts to paint the plan as “a one-way ticket to government-forced euthanasia of the elderly.”
 
Vice President Joe Biden appeared on CNN to refute the charges, but made the situation worse when he said that “we’ll probably end up having to let a lot of old people die, but none of those who are politically connected.  And you probably won’t know any of ‘em anyways.”
 
Some even suggested that it was this part of the plan that suddenly made it attractive, as Generation X members realized they could increase the solvency of their pension plans as well as seize their inheritance before their Boomer parents squandered it on erectile-dysfunction pills and "medicinal" marijuana.  Typical of respondents was on Chelsea C in New York, who said “my parents are nothing but a couple of out-of-control embarrassments anyways.  The sooner they’re gone the better for everybody.”
 
A new lobbying group, Planned Orphanhood, has also sprung up to address this issue and already boasts 35,000 members.  Spokesperson Parpindo Geisel said in a statement that “Planned Orphanhood hopes to help adults in Generations X and Y assist their elders in making difficult end-of-life decisions, allowing the young people of today enjoy what little largesse will be available after our rapacious government taxes us into poverty.  Otherwise the Baby Boomers will continue their selfish habits of hogging all the best pensions, drugs, and lakefront property while saddling their offspring with a mountain of Chinese debt.”
 
Noted cranks the AARP called the new group “a syndicate of the purest evil” and denounced them, but Geisel responded that “those codgers are gonna be first on the list.”

Posted by: plebian at 03:56 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Cato@Liberty details how to use Cash For Clunkers to get the Escalade you've always wanted and stick it to Government Motors at the same time.

Posted by: Alice H at 03:06 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Heh.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 11:10 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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