The recession economy may have claimed another victim today, as early reports from the White House are that the sales of fecal sandwiches have plummeted in recent months.  The dropoff has many observers concerned that a sandwich recall may in the offing, as more than half of the consumers have expressed a desire to return the sandwiches they were already sold.
 
August is traditionally the month where the 500+ members of the Community Of Noble Gentry and Refined Elitists, Sandwich Sales devision, called CONGRESS for short, return to their home district to sell fecal sandwiches to their constituents.  In the past, it has been a time of picnics, cozy townhalls, and love-ins where people typically agreed to up their orders for the coming year.  Not this year, though.
 
"I don't want another sh*t sandwich!" said one angry constituent, using the slang term for the product.  "I already bought over a trillion of 'em, and what did it get me?  Unemployed, just like everybody else!"
 
Members of CONGRESS blame the falling sales on the American palate.  "They just don't know what's good for them," said one who declined to be identified and was hiding under his office desk hoping nobody knew he was there.  "I've had to lock my doors and disconnect my telephone just to keep angry customers from yelling at me.  This is the worst it's ever been!  Thankfully the Cash for Clunkers program fried my computer from afar, or I'd be awash in angry e-mails."
 
Even famed restaurants such as the AARP have faced a backlash from consumers and seen their sales fall into the abyss.  "We've proudly sold fecal sandwiches to Americans for forty years," said one AARP boss.  "Now they're turning on us like rabid werewolves and saying we'll bankrupt the country, the bastards.  I hope they all die in a fire."
 
Most observers agreed that the falling sales were a sign that Americans were too stupid for their own good.  "I've said it before, and I'll say it again," said one famous broadcaster.  "Democracy doesn't work."

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