Posted by: Alice H at 09:59 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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I'm gonna go with: "Dude, Bill...Altoids."

Posted by: Sean M. at 02:59 AM | Comments (15) | Add Comment
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The fun stuff starts at about 1:40.

Posted by: Alice H at 12:54 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Note to diet groups everywhere: don't hold your meetings anywhere but the basement.

A Swedish Weight Watchers group got a sign they might want to lay off the meatballs, according to a local report Thursday.

When a group of 20 members gathered in Vaxjo, south central Sweden for their regular weigh-in, the floor collapsed, the Smålandsposten newspaper reported.

“We suddenly heard a huge thud; we almost thought it was an earthquake and everything flew up in the air. The floor collapsed in one corner of the room and along the walls,” a member told the paper, according to a translation on Swedish news Web site "The Local."

The smell of sewage quickly collected in the collapsed room. Luckily there was never any danger because the floor was only slightly above ground level, the newspaper said.

No injuries were reported.

Posted by: Ember at 08:16 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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And, of course, by terrorists, I mean PETA.

In a show of "good faith," the good folks over at PETA have agreed to pull the ad featuring Michelle Obama that I mentioned a few days back.  Everyone can breathe easier now!

But, PETA has raised a far more dire concern that they expect the White House to look in to - the naming of a baby elephant.  Apparently, the newest performer at the Ringling Brother's circus, a year old elephant who was born just minutes before Teh Won's Inaguration, is named "Baby Barack," and, damn it, if homegrown terrorists like PETA can't use a picture of Michelle, then evil circus folk can't go around naming their elephants Barack.  You can't make this shit up, folks:

 In PETA's view, the use of the Obama name by the circus is far more disturbing. In a letter Tuesday to the president, PETA President Ingrid Newkirk urges the White House to demand a name change for Baby Barack.

 "'Baby Barack' is not even a year old, but his curious and energetic childhood has been cut tragically short while Ringling attempts to profit from your popularity by putting him on the road to perform in the circus," Newkirk wrote.

 Norfolk-based PETA says the circus elephants are abused and the babies are taken from their mothers prematurely.

 Vienna, Va.-based Feld Entertainment, which owns the circus, says its elephants are well cared for and add that using the name Barack is intended as an honor.

Posted by: Ember at 10:04 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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via Jonah Goldberg:

Posted by: JoeCollins at 09:29 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Sans commentary, because I'm lazy.

Posted by: Ember at 08:04 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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(see what I did there?)

Fat peole kicked off dating website.

Personal fave quote? 

"'Letting fatties roam the site is a direct threat to our business model and the very concept for which BeautifulPeople.com was founded.'' 

I think it's the roam that I find so funny.  I have this mental picture of a herd of fatties trampling all over the pristine arugula fields.  It's funny in my head.  

Crappity McCraperson I can't remember the name of that chick that thought she was so much better than you.  I know you Morons will remember.  I have a sneaking suspicion she's a member of that site.

Posted by: alexthechick at 02:27 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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Based on on-line views, some yahoo over at Yahoo totalled up the top ten most viewed trailers of 2009.  Sure, Twilight's stupid sparkly vampires took number one, Transformers took number two, and most of them are the big-budget blockbusters you would expect. 

I have to imagine that at least a few of you morons contributed to Megashark vs. Giant Octopus getting all the way to the number eight viewed trailer of the year.  Congratulate yourselves.

Posted by: Ember at 02:05 AM | Comments (15) | Add Comment
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Dave Barry's year in review column is up, and in spite of the fact that the past twelve months have been decidedly un-funny for most of us, it's hilarious. Here's one of my favorite bits:

The big health story in April is the rapid spread of swine flu, a dangerous new virus strain developed by the makers of Purell. Public anxiety over the flu increases when Vice President Joe Biden, demonstrating his gift for emitting statements, declares on the Today show that he would not recommend traveling by commercial airplane or subway. A short while later, White House spokesperson Robert Gibbs assures reporters that he is ``not aware of any `Vice President Joe Biden.' ''

Posted by: Sean M. at 07:28 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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I think we can come up with some more demotivator slogans for this.  My humble submissions:

Reid/Pelosi and the Constitution

Obama and Homeland Security

The Cowboys and Winning in December

Andi and Reality

Posted by: alexthechick at 09:04 AM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
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Posted by: plebian at 05:15 PM | Comments (26) | Add Comment
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Okay, that's funny on a bunch of levels.
A local Goodwill got some kind of antique looking metal jug donated
A two gallon metal water jug was donated to Goodwill, but ...when employees opened it,

Wait for it...
they found four bags of marijuana that together equal about a pound.
D'Oh!
They claim it was a year old.
That's funny, you know some stoner saw the news story and said, "That's where I left that shit. Damn"

Via the Agitator

Posted by: Veeshir at 08:47 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Hilarity Ensues.

via McArdle

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 04:12 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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FrnakJ Gets Off a Good One^(TM)

Why do liberals need federal money for abortion? Can’t they just start a “Stop the Babies!” charity? “Right now there are babies waiting to be born and ruin people’s lives. We can stop that. With your help.” See, you can voluntarily spend you money on others. It’s called charity. I’m not sure who came up with it.

If you aren't reading his Random Thoughts every day, you loss.
Today is a particularly good one though.
They pretty much all made me laugh out loud I'm glad I wasn't drinking when I read it.

Posted by: Veeshir at 03:11 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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When discussing over at Volokh whether or not Obama is a jihadi, the greatest comment in recent memory came along.

Posted by: eddiebear at 12:15 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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If you're anything like me, you've been consistently frustrated by the fact that the only place you can buy indulgences in the modern world relate to carbon dioxide.  As a programmer I often think, wouldn't it be great if I could spend money to be forgiven for all the bad code I've written in my life? 

Well, if you feel the same way, wait no longer!

I have never written a bad line of code.

When I tell people that, they often scoff and offer replies like “so you’re not a programmer then?” and “let me guess, you’re a coding deity or something?” Well let me say, I am a programmer and I am not Codethulu, but in the same manner that Al Gore can fly around the world in a private jet without polluting, I have negated my bad code footprint through the purchase of Bad Code Offsets.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 10:05 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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(Ripped off from roamingfirehydrant at The H2.)

Posted by: Sean M. at 09:15 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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uggs outlet all you face-cockers out there should entry

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 09:44 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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ESPN.com, the online branch of the sports multimedia empire, finally realized its dream yesterday of achieving a segregated site, sending its minority columnists to the back of the website in a new tab called "Commentary" and setting up the plantation that it has long desired. 

Michael Kinsley, who until recently no one had ever heard of, made the announcement in a post on the reconfigured Page 2 on Monday, insisting that this was not "a breakup."

Kinsley said that the contributors who are moving will be joined by "thought leaders and sports stakeholders with diverse, insightful points of view."  Diversity at ESPN is now not to be found on Page 2, which is once again the sole province of white misogynist Bill Simmons and his band of merry white men.

Columnists who have been sent to the Commentary Plantation include Jemele Hill, LZ Granderson, and Scoop Jackson, the only African-American columinists on Page 2, whose work had until now largely focused on social and minority issues pertinent to athletics.  Two white columinsts were also moved.

Kinsley also offered the possibly racially-tinged charge that Commentary "will be the ears of ESPN.com, too."  Barack Obama, America's first African-American president, is well known to have big ears.

Posted by: plebian at 04:19 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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