I just thought I would share with the class

I was trying to alleviate the drudgery of my state government job tonight, and figured that trying to find reviews of The Dark Knight would do it. Thank goodness I did, or I may have missed this unintentionally funny excerpt (emphasis mine):

You can believe the hype, KNIGHT could have quite simply been renamed to THE JOKER. Ignoring the fact that we lost Ledger earlier this year, he truly does deserve credit for bringing one of the most diverse, unique and well-developed characters to the big screen since Daniel Day Lewis in THERE WILL BE BLOOD. Some will say it's over-the-top, while everyone else will see the true genius in his work. When Christopher and Jonathan Nolan reveal The Joker's motive early in the film, it's tough to take in, and tough to take serious (why so serious?), but by the final frame of the film, the viewer should be sold without question. The deconstruction of The Joker is something of wonder; watching Ledger descend deeper into psychosis was more interesting that watching Lewis do it in BLOOD. To say he will give the viewer goosebumps is an understatement.

Now, I'm nowhere close to being a professional film reviewer, but I think that if you're going to say the phrase "this is the best (something) since (film)," the film you're referencing should be more than six or seven months old. 

That being said, I have a feeling that if I had seen The Dark Knight weeks before almost anyone else, my brain wouldn't work, either.

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 03:44 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 263 words, total size 2 kb.

Laura Ingraham has some strange priorities

But then again, I think she always has.  After getting back on the air, you'd think she'd want to get to some real news. 

Nah.  Decrying the fact that some boys in America want to have long hair, not short hair.

Update: I don't have TV, so I forgot she had a show on Fox News.  Woops!  I was talking about her radio show.

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 07:31 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
Post contains 70 words, total size 1 kb.

Please enjoy the Ace of Spades Lifestyle™ responsibly

And by "responsibly," I mean maybe you shouldn't try to kill that pesky liver of yours in one sitting:

A Florida man died Tuesday after taking more than two dozen shots of cherry vodka within a half hour, according to the Hillsborough County Sheriff's office.

"We have witnesses that have described the victim as taking anywhere from 23 to 25 shots in 30 minutes," Hillsborough County Sheriff's spokesman J.D. Callaway told ABCNEWS.com.

See, it's important to pace yourself.

Eric Morris, 26, was allegedly taking part in a drinking game with another patron at an adult nightclub, Angels Show Bar, in Seffner, Fla., just hours before he died, according to police.

"Apparently [other bar patrons] were describing the shots as 'cherry bombs,'" said Callaway, referring to a shot of liquor that is typically made by combining cherry-flavored vodka with Red Bull, a popular energy drink.

While Morris' drinking buddy, who police declined to identify, stopped playing the game after a few shots, Morris kept going.

While I've always said that nobody ever truly wins a drinking game, your honor is safe when your opponent forfeits. Really.

"Witnesses told us that the bartender kept setting up glasses of shots for [Morris] and then for whatever reason decided at shot glass 24 or 25 that she wasn't going to serve him anymore," Callaway said.

Well, that's good. As a professional, you've got to recognize when someone's reached his or her limit.  When they stagger away from the bar and die, that's always a pretty good indication.

Posted by: Sean M. at 11:40 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 257 words, total size 2 kb.

Hmm, maybe I should make an auto-filter at doubleplusundead that replaces American Family Association with EPIC FAIL

I saw this a week ago, but it was only on a dirtbag nutroots site, so I held off, but now everyone else has it, so I'm posting it.  The AFA's news site had an auto-replace filter that replaced the word "gay" with the word "homosexual."  Hilarity ensued when sprinter Tyson Gay began racing qualifying sprints for the 100 meter Olympic games.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 11:29 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 79 words, total size 1 kb.

The Thrill Of Victory, The Agony Of EPIC FAIL, Runners Edition.

I love to run for exercise. When I get the opportunity, I try to squeeze in a quick 5 or 10k run for the hell of it. I am not great at it, but I am impressed that my fat ass can do 5k charity runs at or slightly under 18 minutes.

What does annoy me are those people who take it WAAAYYY too seriously. I swear, these folks are out there EVERY day, and they sneer at me on the trails if I tap out at 7k. Well, I now have a few snooty retorts back to them beyond the always mature, "f&ck you, loser."

First, at least I run outdoors and not on a fucking treadmill in the window of a shoe store in an effort to set the "World Record" for a marathon on a treadmill. Better yet, I don't FAIL just meters away from the end, which is what Michael Wardian did.

Wardian ran 2:09:15 through 24 miles (a pace of 5:23 per mile), almost 30 seconds ahead of world record pace. Wardian slowed on the 25th mile, running a 5:40 mile, then inexplicably shut the treadmill off with just over a mile to go. He apparently thought he had finished the 26.2 mile marathon.

After being told there was still over a mile to go, Wardian increased the treadmill speed back up to run the last 1.2 miles. At that point, he began to stagger and was having trouble keeping his footing. At 25.9 miles he stopped the treadmill and collapsed. His time at 25.9 miles was 2:22:35. He was .3 miles short of finishing the marathon.

And here is the loser on the treadmill in the store. (Courtesy Pacers Sporting Goods and a bunch of other people)


But Wardian was not the only runner with whom THE FAIL was strong. Consider the plight of the Seattle area runners who missed the shuttle bus to the start of the Seafair Marathon and were unable to compete.

About 400 runners, including some who organizers say spent months training for Sunday's Seafair Marathon, missed shuttle buses to the starting line and didn't start the race, even though it was delayed by 15 minutes after organizers realized there was a transportation problem.

The buses, paid for by Seafair, began transporting runners from Bellevue Downtown Park to the Husky Stadium starting line at 5 a.m. Organizers scheduled 30 First Student school buses to make four trips each with a capacity of about 50 people, Seafair spokesman Dan Wartelle said.

The marathon's Web site "strongly recommended" runners arrive early for the 15-minute shuttle. But more people than expected arrived for later buses and the final 6:45 a.m. shuttle.

Ha! Now I can sneer at runners knowing full well I at least know where to be and when to be there.

Posted by: eddiebear at 10:46 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 482 words, total size 3 kb.

Rep. Don Young picks up a major retarded endorsement

Yes, one of the biggest kleptocrats in the House has received an endorsement from another person on my Least Favorite Republicans list: Gov. Mike Huckabee.

Make sure to go to that link and read the comments.  There has been so much outrage that he has had to post an update to his initial announcement.  Classic Huckafail. 

Exit question: Did Huck endorse Young because he actually believes in the Congressman or because he wants to beat Lt. Gov. Sean Parnell, who was endorsed by the Club for Growth Greed, in the GOP primary?

You can contribute to Parnell's campaign here.

(h/t)

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 04:39 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
Post contains 109 words, total size 1 kb.

Like playing Russian roulette with a full cylinder

Dell computers offers a special deal where you can buy one of their POS computers and get a copy of XP if you don't want Vista. 

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 01:10 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
Post contains 34 words, total size 1 kb.

Gas prices rise, hoes and pimps hardest hit

It seems that with the price of fuel going up, truckers, who make up a big chunk of Nevada's legal brothels' clientele, have less disposable income to spend on the old slap and tickle:

Nevada brothels that cater to long-haul truckers are offering gas cards and other promotions after seeing business decline as much as 25 percent from a year ago, industry officials said.

Geoffrey Arnold, president of the Nevada Brothel Owners' Association, said truckers account for up to 75 percent of business at the state's rural brothels along Interstate 80 and U.S. Highway 95.

They actually have a Brothel Owners' Association? Huh. They must have interesting conventions.

He said business is down about 19 percent at his two northern Nevada brothels along I-80: Donna's Ranch in Wells and Donna's Battle Mountain Ranch.

"We're being affected by the economy like everybody else," Arnold said. "Times are tougher ... and truckers have less money to spend. They're not high-rollers anymore."

Well, that's a shame.  Especially if you're a prostitute, a brothel owner, or a trucker who enjoys the company of professional skanks.  But it turns out things aren't actually bad all over.

Of Nevada's 28 legal brothels, 16 are located in rural areas that are being hurt by truckers' higher diesel costs, Arnold said. Whorehouses closer to Reno and Las Vegas, which rely more on tourists and conventioneers, say business is up this year.

Well, good for them.  I guess.

Posted by: Sean M. at 08:43 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
Post contains 247 words, total size 2 kb.

Some gas tax FAIL from the Bluegrass State

Let it not be said that Gov. Steve Beshear and the General Assembly don't have their fingers on the pulse of their constituents:

The hits just keep on coming: Starting July 1, Kentucky will collect another 1.5 cents tax on each gallon of gasoline, adding a bit more to prices that have held at $4 or higher in Louisville for much of the past month.

Kentucky's gas tax, which goes toward the state road fund, will increase to 21.1 cents, and the diesel tax will rise to 18.1 cents, according to Jill Midkiff, spokeswoman for the state Finance and Administration Cabinet.

But I guess I shouldn't worry about it.  Why?:

Kentucky's gas taxes -- which will total 40.9 cents after July 1, including state and federal taxes and a fee to cover cleanup of underground fuel tanks -- remain relatively low compared with other states.

Well, that makes me feel much better.  I guess I really shouldn't start complaining until the gas taxes get up to California levels, eh? 

But at least I can take some comfort in knowing that I'm not hurting caribou, polar bears, or any other retardimals live up there in there in ANWR.

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 01:42 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 203 words, total size 1 kb.

Grover, Grover, Grover...

Why? Just...why?:

Norquist dropped by The Times' Washington bureau today and, as part of his negative critique of Obama's liberal stances on economic issues and other matters, he termed the presumptive Democratic presidential nominee "John Kerry with a tan."

Since Norquist isn't running for anything, he can get away with such remarks; we doubt McCain will be incorporating the line into his speeches anytime soon.

Grover goes on to say that he thinks (sigh) that Gov. Bobby Jindal would be a good choice for vice president.

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 02:09 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 88 words, total size 1 kb.

A little afternoon FAIL for you

I'm gonna go ahead and tuck this one under the fold and give you Your Official NSFW Warning.  Oh, and you might also want to swallow any liquids you currently have in your mouth before clicking...


more...

Posted by: Sean M. at 02:58 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 47 words, total size 1 kb.

The best way to fight sexual assault is by not really fighting it

Of all the defenses of yesterday's Supreme Court ruling on child rapists and the death penalty, this has to be the most vile:

But the Texas Association Against Sexual Assault, a nonprofit victim advocacy group representing 80 rape crisis centers, applauded the ruling.

"Most child sexual abuse victims are abused by a family member or close family friend," the group said in a statement. "The reality is that child victims and their families don't want to be responsible for sending a grandparent, cousin or long time family friend to death row."

First of all, what kind of advocacy group for victims of sexual assault is in favor of rewarding those who perpetrate sexual assaults? Did it form alongside the American Hunters and Shooters Association?

Secondly, if a "grandparent, cousin, or long time family friend" raped my child they would be lucky to make it to trial.  Any parent that would rather keep an association than seek justice for their child doesn't deserve to be a parent.

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 08:55 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 178 words, total size 1 kb.

A little followup

Remember Sean's post about the GQ article that was the victim of some seriously bad timing?  Sure enough, you can see the quote in Carson's column here.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 09:48 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 30 words, total size 1 kb.

Intent on biting every hand that feeds it

Damn these people are stupid, no wonder nobody actually buys music anymore.  So who is the RIAA going after this time?  Why, AM/FM radio, of course!  You know, the same AM/FM radio that gives their music hours and hours of airtime of exposure and publicity every day?  Basically, because they aren't making any money from sales anymore, the recording industry wants royalties, which they've never collected from AM/FM radio to make up for it. 

In the past, the RIAA complained about it, but didn't pursue it aggressively because they were making enough from sales to be satisfied.  RIAA has successfully shaken down satellite and internet radio for big royalties, and now have bills in both the House and Senate to go after terrestrial radio. 

If the NAB is smart, they'll immediately start seeking out indie labels and working with anyone who isn't part of the RIAA, and start use their airwaves to bludgeon the dirtbags. 

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 11:28 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 163 words, total size 1 kb.

Inconceivable!

Allah has a poll, and it is a goodie.  According to the responses to this poll, 21% of Atheists responded they believed in God... 

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 04:08 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 26 words, total size 1 kb.

CDC West Nile Virus expert contracts West Nile Virus

He didn't contract the illness from his job, but at his home.  Approximately 1.5 million Americans have been infected with West Nile, and about 300,000 have had symptoms. 

Typically, symptoms include a period of fever and aching, chronic fatigue can sometimes set in for months after the initial symptoms, it can also sometimes lead to neurological diseases that can be fatal.  Mosquito repellent with DEET, and making sure that there are no places with standing water around where you live or are at are the best ways to avoid getting West Nile. 

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 02:53 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 101 words, total size 1 kb.

One or the other, fellas, take your pick

Blackwater has long been a target of leftist hatred, nearly all of it rabid conspiracy theorizing and innuendo, but there certainly questionable things Blackwater has done and have done.  This is one of those questionable things.  Basically, they had one of their planes crash, which killed three servicemen.  The widows of the three men sued Blackwater, and Blackwater is now trying to get out of it by arguing that this civil case is under the Afghan legal system, which is a shari'a type legal system.  This is the same Blackwater that has sought to hide behind the US legal system in Iraq earlier.

Check out that link for more, See-Dub has this right, Blackwater needs to choose, US legal system or the legal systems of the foreign countries they work in.  Frankly, I'd argue the government should put Blackwater at the bottom of the bid pool for things we need contractors for until they clean up their act. 

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 07:42 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 166 words, total size 1 kb.

Your Thursday afternoon dose of FAIL

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 02:04 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 6 words, total size 1 kb.

Obama plans to neglect his key constituency

Via Drudge (no link yet):

NYT THURSDAY: Obama aides increasingly limiting access for reporters; controlling settings Obama is photographed or filmed... Developing...

What the hell?  What parallel universe is this 'tard living in where he thinks he is getting such horrible press coverage that he has to limit the press?

Update:  Here is the story Drudge linked, although not from the NYT for some reason. 

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 06:41 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 70 words, total size 1 kb.

It was probably less painful than high school

Getting shot, that is:

A Philadelphia teen was rushed to the hospital after being shot just minutes after his high school graduation commencement concluded.

The shooting happened outside the Liacouras Center on the campus of Temple University in North Philadelphia at about 4:20 p.m. Tuesday. Shots rang out while family and friends were gathering to congratulate the graduates from Strawberry Mansion High School.

Police said two rival groups at the school were involved in an altercation outside when an unknown gunman fired two shots into the crowd.

Wait?  I thought that the only way young people in George W. Bush's Amerikkka got killed was by joining the military to fight in an illegal war?  Turns out they can get shot at home just as easily, so long as they're living in cities run top-to-bottom by anti-gun Democrats. 

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 02:03 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 144 words, total size 1 kb.