Parody just died a painful death

Here's Andrew Sullivan (no link per doubleplusundead editorial policy) discussing the way in which the press has treated Barack Obama:

Bad for journalism? What journalism? The MSM let this farce of a politician go an entire campaign without a single real press conference...That's how you find out who this delusional phony truly is...I think the press should be right in front of powerful people's faces. Right there. Unblinking, so to speak.

Hahahahahahahaha! Just kidding. You know who he's really talking about.

Posted by: Sean M. at 02:19 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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Like a Good Neighbor, State Farm is There...

...to demand you shell out over $1500 in auto repairs to the guy that ran over your dog.  Now, don't get me wrong, the dog should not have been in the road, and I think State Farm is well within their right to ask for the money. That said, when you're a giant insurer like State Farm, or really any company, sometimes you have to assume that the cost associated with what will be widely seen as a heartless dick move is gonna be much more than the $1500+ in auto repairs.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 08:42 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Presented without context

But in spite of this, his fishmonger father Mohammed, 30, said: 'He looks pretty healthy to me. I don't see the problem.'

Something tells me that Dr. Phil isn't syndicated in this part of the world.

Posted by: Sean M. at 02:03 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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What's worse than getting in a car accident?

Get in a car accident with a truck full of bees:

Rescue crews were using fire hoses to douse an angry swarm of bees after a fatal crash that involved a semitrailer carrying about 17 million of the insects.

Authorities say a truck hauling 7,000 bee hives was involved in the four-vehicle crash Monday on Interstate 35 near Lakeville, about 35 miles south of Minneapolis.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 07:48 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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Breaking News, Must Credit doubleplusundead: Will Folks Releases Videotape Proof of Affair With Gubernatorial Candidate Nikki Haley

I do have to warn you, this contains graphic language and images, definitely NSFW,

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 01:42 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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My DVR hates me

Okay, so how the fuck did it decide that recording the first hour of the LOST series finale was something that it didn't want to do, even though I expressly programmed it to record THE WHOLE MOTHERFUCKING EPISODE?!!!!!

Now, I have to wait until ABC decides to put the episode up on their website to see what I missed. 

And pardon me for wanting to enjoy the first hour of the most watched series finale in A FUCKING DECADE without buffering.

Fuck you, DVR.  Fuck. You.

Posted by: Sean M. at 02:04 AM | Comments (22) | Add Comment
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I think whoever did his hair needs to be put away too

A pimp in New Jersey has his prostitution ring broken up, but dude, seriously, the fuck is with his hair, and what the fuck is that thing hanging off the back of his head? 

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 08:17 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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Former Food Network host arrested for murder-for-hire plot

He tried to hire a bunch of hobos to kill a dude, or something, bail is $5 million, so this had to have been pretty serious shit.  Hobos reported him to police and they worked with police to catch the guy.  No, it's not Mario Batali, you can relax, it was some dude who had one of those early morning weekend crap shows no one watched.  Pretty much by early 2009 I'd quit watching TV entirely, but I still recognized the name of the guy's show, and LOLd.  IIRC, the dude was sort of a mincing wuss, probably didn't have it in him to do the deed himself.  Clearly not a follower of the Ace of Spades Lifestyle, as every Moron knows, hobos are to be hunted, not made into the hunter.

I noticed this till I ditched TV (and I don't miss it, seriously, commit to turning it off for three weeks, guarantee there's a 50% shot you end up canceling your cable/sat), but Food Network is the perfect "background noise" channel, except when Rachel Ray or that semi-homemade whatever was on.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 11:44 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Too many jokes to choose from ...

Japan is known for its unique fashion.  Well, at least, I know Japan for that.  Apparently, though, there is one thing that even the Japanese can't forgive - a ridiculous checkered shirt that appears to be from 1987.  (Seriously, click on the link; the picture of this shirt is fucking awesome.  Awesome in a Megashark-vs.-Giant-Octopus kind of way, not in a someone-just-invented-the-teleporter-and-you-can-actually-afford-one kind of way.)

Japan's Prime Minister Yukio Hatoyama has been seeing his poll ratings tumble amid criticism of his leadership - and his fashion sense.

Reporters pounced on a checked shirt he wore to meet members of the public at a barbecue at his official residence.

With one sleeve yellow, the other blue, a red front, purple back and green cuffs, it was certainly eye-catching.

Fashion designer Don Konishi wrote in a national magazine: "Is anyone able to stop him wearing such a thing?"

And you thought Michelle Obama's boob belts were bad.  Hah.

Posted by: Ember at 10:57 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Ten Bucks says this is tomorrow's BBF

BBF, for the uninitiated, is Big Boob Friday.  Big Boob Friday is a regular feature over at The Hostages, where Rosetta (America's Favorite Man-Lesbian) posts pictures of a (usually) Eastern European woman with gigantic breasts, then wiserbud makes fun of Rosetta and his featured BBF.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 09:02 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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Sometimes I wonder what the hell is the matter with people

A five year old kid who lost his leg in an accident has been bullied repeatedly on his school bus, culminating in an attempt to steal his artificial leg and a black eye from a 13 year old 6' 150 lb teenager.  The father goes to the parents and they refuse to do anything, so he goes to the school district. 

Any guesses on how they dealt with the situation?  (Answer below the fold)
more...

Posted by: chad98036 at 04:11 PM | Comments (14) | Add Comment
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Remember when Obama was the technocrat President?

Praised for his understanding of technology at it's implications. He even had a Blackberry that he insisted be hooked into the the White House network despite the security concerns.

How does this get explained then?

"You're coming of age in a 24/7 media environment that bombards us with all kinds of content and exposes us to all kinds of arguments, some of which don't always rank all that high on the truth meter," Obama said at Hampton University, Virginia.

"With iPods and iPads and Xboxes and PlayStations, -- none of which I know how to work -- information becomes a distraction, a diversion, a form of entertainment, rather than a tool of empowerment, rather than the means of emancipation," Obama said.

He can't operate the 4 simplest technological devices known to man? Even that buffoon* George W. Bush can operate an iPod. I know this because the media went to great lengths a number of times to ridicule his playlist. If he can operate one and Obama can't what does that say about the intellectual quality of the man chosen to lead the US thru these harrowing times?

*that was snark in case anyone is on the verge of getting offended.

Posted by: chad98036 at 12:26 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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Phillies fan tasered on the field

I maintain my position that Philly fans are the lowest of the low, and any abuse or beatdowns administered to them are warranted. 

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 08:08 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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