February 25, 2010

Food is good.

I love it when other people support my long held beliefs. Such as that insane thing women do where they eat nothing on a dinner date to impress the guy is utterly stupid.

I can back this up from both sides of the equation.  I cannot tell you how many guy friends I've gone to dinner with who say something like "oh thank God you actually EAT" when I order a side of cow for dinner.  From the opposite side of it, I've actually told girls on dates that unless they're a vegetarian, ordering only a salad will not impress me. 

The guy in this article is right, do you really want to get involved with anyone who is such an asshole that s/he'll think less of you for eating actual food?  That's a huge warning sign right there. 

Here's the thing, your appetite for food will give me a hint as to your appetite for enjoying other things in life.  Also protip to women:  bones aren't sexy.*  Looking like a woman is.  So eat!  Enjoy!  And make him wonder if you're going to attack him with the same fervor with which you're decimating those ribs.

*I know, I know, I'm a bit of a hypocrite here since my taste in guys is for tall and skinny.  But all the tall and skinny guys I've known need to eat their body weight every day just to stay alive.  Yeah.  I'm not bitter about that.  This is me, sitting here being not bitter. 

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February 24, 2010

Uncle Tom, get back on the plantation!

I saw this at Althouse's and was going to ignore it.
It's about "black folks we'd like to remove from Black History".
Including such luminaries as Idi Amin, Mugabe, Flava Flav, Michael Steele and Clarence Thomas.

Yawn, "authentic" black folk hate Clarence Thomas and Michael Steele, film at.... ohhh.. all the time.
But then I decided to check the comments to see the hilarity.
So one commenter said this
This all comes down to affirmative action. Clarence Thomas is a brilliant man who grew up poor but managed to gratuate near the top of his class at Yale law completely on his own merits, hard work and intellect. Then imagine the reality faced when faced with the fact that everyone sees your degree as only a product of a goverment program to benefit a minority person who is incabable of achieving that on their own

I agreed, but then I'm not black..
The rebuttal? The reason why he was included?
It's not his conservative views that earned him a place on this list. It is his self-hatred, his vehement support to end policies that helped him get to where he is today, that earned him a place.

AA in other words. Proving the previous commenters assertion.
Yep, his politics make him a bad role model for blacks.
I'm surprised Condi Rice wasn't included. After all, she helped that arch-racist Bush lie his way into a war.
Doesn't that count for anything?

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Answer me this

In what freaking universe is Emma Stone


hotter than

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4045/4384571691_7dcd07b3d8_m.jpg http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4022/4385333126_1695b143c1_m.jpg
Demise Milani Angelina Jolie

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4052/4384571831_7d19a444d5_m.jpg http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4070/4384571789_e37533f7ce_m.jpg
Anne Hathaway or Christina Hendricks

I hereby revoke their hotness rating credentials.

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February 23, 2010

Ron Jeremy Raps

Really what more needs to be said?

Jeremy starts at about 1:10


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February 21, 2010

86% say government is broken

Of that 86%, 81% think it can be fixed.  Let's hope that when they say 'fixed', they mean like one 'fixes' a dog.

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Making the Lightning Bolt! guy look cool.

Live Avatar Role Playing.
Real or Satire? I can't decide.

Favorite line?
"We're not doing this because it's cool, we're doing this because it's important."
I was with him for the first half of that sentence.
Then he lost me.
If not for all the time to dress up in blue I'd say, "Satire", those two couldn't look any more lame trying to shoot those bows if they tried.
Via Vodkapundit

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February 19, 2010

I'm bored and you guys are failing in your sworn duty to entertain me unceasingly

therefore I declare a bad hippie music death fight

I thought about posting the Slim Whitman version but this was actually worse.

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CPAC, giving conservatives a black eye since forever and a day

Why in hell #CPAC gave this douchetwat a podium to stand on is beyond me.

(h/t Demure Jen)

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Paint Huffer Guy plans on suing for royalties

I don't think this'll go anywhere, mugshots are public record.  If I remember correctly, the reason he was brought to rehab in the first place was because a rehab director saw him wandering the streets and recognized him because of his pics on the intarwebs. 

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February 18, 2010

Cheese-eating surrender monkey FAIL

The first YouTube comment beats anything we'll say: "...this is slightly longer than how long the French lasted against Hitler..."

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February 15, 2010

i can haz ASPCA?

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Hipster Puppies

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February 13, 2010

Tea Partiers decide they want 6 more years of Sen. Harry Reid

If they keep this dumb shit up, *I'll* start calling them teabaggers. 

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 09:08 PM | Comments (44) | Add Comment
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February 12, 2010

I know you all have missed Fan Fic Friday...

so today I bring you another installment via Topless Robot

I am not going to say much about it and will instead let this quote speak for the story:

Sorry to break it to you, Harry, but you lost your pride the minute you agreed to give Hermione a blowjob so she wouldn't cry. Getting annally violated by Hermione's magically enlarged penis is just a bonus.

I don't know where these people find these stories. I'm not sure I want to know where they find these stories. Actually I am positive I don't want to know where they find these stories, but they do offer you a new and disturbing perspective on the human race.

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February 11, 2010

Debra Medina implodes

Medina was considered the Tea Party candidate in Texas, facing off against Rick Perry and Kay Failey Hutchison (who has got to go, not that I'm impressed by Perry by any means), and her poll numbers showed she could prove to be a challenge for Hutchison and ...then she came out as a Truther, or at least pandered to the Truther trash.

Did she think she was going to win by going all Ron Paultard?  Really?  I'm glad she did this though.  God, could you imagine if she won the primaries and came out with this Truther shit in the general?  We'd end up with a Democrat running Texas.  Yeah, let that sink in for a minute.  America is not on the same wavelength as the listening audience of Coast to Coast, Debra.  Sorry.

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February 07, 2010

Oh My God, This must be stopped! Captain America is to be a USO performer

director Joe Johnston and the team at Marvel Studios have a plan for "The First Avenger: Captain America," which is due in Summer 2011: They've added a new wrinkle to the classic mythology to explain why a scientifically enhanced super-soldier would venture out in the WWII battlefields in a costume that leans a bit heavy on the old Betsy Ross imagery.

"The costume is a flag, but the way we're getting around that is we have Steve Rogers forced into the USO circuit. After he's made into this super-soldier, they decide they can't send him into combat and risk him getting killed. He's the only one and they can't make more. So they say, 'You're going to be in this USO show' and they give him a flag suit. He can't wait to get out of it."


 You have to be fucking kidding me! What kind of fucktard even dreams this shit up?

This demands a boycott! Tell your friends make it clear that we want Captain America as he was meant to be a Soldier by Christ. Not a USO performer. (Not that there is anything wrong with the USO but come on...).

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Our long national nightmare is over

Tila Tequila Returns to Twitter

The reality TV star left the microblogging site on Monday (01Feb10) after branding it the most "hateful, racist and violent" community online. But Twitter tempted Tequila back to the web on Thursday (04Feb10), when she announced her return by writing to fans, "Dang... I guess I'm back! Twitter was f**king boring without me huh? I would be bored as hell if I were U and I wasn't on Twitter anymore! hahhaha jk (just kidding)."

Remember the episode of South Park where the internet goes down. It's things like this that make we want to beat Kyle senseless for fixing it.

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February 05, 2010

Yeah, Because Nobody Has Ever Heard Of The Census Before

I really shouldn't get too worked up, since the amount of money wasted on this advertisement really is a drop in the bucket of FAIL that is the government spending, and it advertises something important (it is in the Constitution, after all), but c'mon. Seriously. What the fuck?

Census officials call it a good investment, saying the front-end costs of purchasing the ads can be quickly recouped if they succeed in encouraging people to mail back their census forms. A recent poll found nearly 1 in 5 residents said they may not fill them out, mostly because they were unfamiliar with the census or weren't interested.The government relies on the census not only to learn about Americans and their lives but also to parcel out federal dollars and, as required by the Constitution, to determine the number of U.S. House seats representing each state. The census officially began last month in rural Alaska, and most of the U.S. will receive their forms by mail the week of March 15.

I mean, it's the motherfucking census. How fucking sad is it that the Government is wasting money on mentioning this? 


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