September 29, 2009

St. Andrew is Piece of Shit

Once again, he can't openly state what he believes so he publishes an e-mail that manages to insult Palin's intelligence and push a ridiculous conspiracy theory at the same time.

I'm sure I'm not the first to think of this, but those 400 pages probably surprised everyone.  I'd bet there are whispers in Alaska that she didn't look like she had been writing non-stop for months.  The question on everyone's mind but that everyone's afraid to ask openly is, did Bristol write Sarah's book?


Wow, this may be the last post I write about anything he says because I find myself censoring every response I have to this degenerate lunatic.  And if I'm self-censoring, I'm thinking of writing some very fucking nasty shit.

For the last time, Sarah is Trig's mother, vastly more intelligent than you and unimaginably more humble and good as a person.  Oh, and those rumors you love so much from Alaska seems to be almost universally bought and paid for.

Enjoy your AIDS, you fucking bastard. 

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 12:12 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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September 28, 2009

The good news is...

...the Obama administration has completed an overhaul of the website, where you can now check on how porkulus funds are being spent by ZIP code.

The bad news is, well, guess where the $9.5 million they used for the overhaul came from?  Yeah.

I bet that "created or saved" just dozens and dozens of jobs.

Posted by: Sean M. at 10:40 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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September 26, 2009

Ohio Politics Can Be Rough. And Cross Dress-y

Yeah, this would liven up any mayoral debate, even in East Cleveland.

A local mayor is having a lot of explaining to do today after photos, supposedly of him in drag, surfaced and are now spreading like wildfire.

East Cleveland mayor Eric Brewer will probably never be seen in the same light again after the incriminating photos surfaced. Originally aired on WKYC Channel 3 News, the story has become quite a hot topic in Northeast Ohio. While a lot of people are laughing, Mayor Brewer is not.

The mayor has taken some very strong actions and has made some extremely bold claims regarding the leaking of the photos. Brewer is involved in a primary mayoral election and has blasted political opponent Gary Norton, blaming him for the pictures seeing the light of day. If this allegation is true, this is politics at its mud-slinging worst. Norton denies he had anything to do with the photos being released to the media, also stating that he disapproves of the photos and that anyone could be responsible because, according to him, Brewer has made many enemies during his political career.

Yeah, I would say so.


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September 24, 2009

The awesome radiant light that is Obama causes terrorists to renounce intentions and embrace America as a force for good in the world

Emmmm - Not so much.


Car Bomb Placed at Scene Was Inert; Public Never at Risk

DALLAS – James T. Jacks, the U.S. Attorney for the Northern District of Texas, and Robert E. Casey, Jr., Special Agent in Charge for the Dallas Office of the FBI, announced today that Hosam Maher Husein Smadi, 19, has been arrested and charged in a federal criminal complaint with attempting to use a weapon of mass destruction. Smadi, who was under continuous surveillance by the FBI, was arrested today near Fountain Place, a 60-story glass office tower located at 1445 Ross Avenue in downtown Dallas, after he placed an inert/inactive car bomb at the location. Smadi, a Jordanian citizen in the U.S. illegally, lived and worked in Italy, Texas, (approximately 45 miles south of Dallas).


Tomorrow at the UN Obama will apologize for our cultural insensitivity and for not allowing this Jordanian jack-ass to actually blow the building up.

Posted by: chad98036 at 08:12 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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September 23, 2009

Perfume Can Cure AIDS!

Oh yeah, this seems like a good idea:

Scientist Beime Larzjaibaeva of Tolebinsk told the country’s TTK news agency he could cure acquired immune deficiency syndrome by injecting perfume into infected patients, Ananova reports. It was not clear what ingredient in perfume affected the disease.

I'm not buying it...
Larzjaibaeva said the perfume has to be expensive for his treatment to work.

Oh, well in that case strap Andrew Sullivan down and lets get to the curing.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 06:22 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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September 22, 2009

Will attack for ratings.

You've seen the story at Hot Air about Joe Scarborough going after Glen Beck because he's not afraid of the right wing nuts.

Well that, or he hopes they'll tune in and give him some ratings.
I expect him to make up some filthy lies to get Beck's attention.
Like, oh, say accusing him of drinking blended puppies or something.

Hey, it's worked before.

Posted by: Veeshir at 05:56 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Save The Environment By Bleeding!

That's right, folks!  Replace all your light bulbs with these blood-powered lamps so you use less energy! 

Wait, no.  That's fucking retarded.

Wait, yes.  I could fuel my lamps by beating the shit out of hippies and using their blood!  I'd be like a hip, environmentalist vampire except I wouldn't drink the blood, just enjoy the hippie hunting.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 03:19 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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All those security measures mean nothing

There is no security.  There are no background checks.  How else can you explain someone with ties to Al Qaida, who has received explosives training, having a job as an airport shuttle van driver?  WTF am I having to take my boots off for every freaking time I fly someplace if the airport is going to employ people like this?

Posted by: Alice H at 11:48 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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September 17, 2009

Perez Hilton: Stick to Celebrity Nonsense

Because sports definitely isn't your thing:

We knew this would happen!

After being released by the Philadelphia Eagles, A MUCH better NFL team has acquired Hank Baskett and he is signing his contract with the Indianapolis Colts this morning!

Really?  MUCH better?  haha... I don't think I'd even say better.  Hell, I'd probably say worse.

Which is my way of reminding y'all to get your fantasy rosters set.  I don't want to win any games the easy way this year.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 04:20 PM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
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September 16, 2009

What's painful is that these people probably voted.

No one should have to choose between health care and the Ace-of-Spades LifestyleTM:

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 08:42 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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September 14, 2009


It's like there's a fire in her mouth and all the firemen are coming.

Posted by: Veeshir at 08:10 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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September 11, 2009

Pro athlete name FAIL!

Posted by: Sean M. at 11:18 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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September 10, 2009

I Read It So You Don't Have To

For the last couple of months I've had St. Andrew's Daily FuckNuts in my RSS feed in order to keep tabs on what the loony left is talking about.  I have to admit, I'm tempted to remove it nearly every time I read a post but I figure somebody has to keep an eye on that psycho. 

Anyway, I thought I'd distill his daily expulsion of illogical, internally inconsistent ramblings into one, totally insane statement of the day:

I was unaware that Palin "declared April 16, 2008 'Health Decisions Day' in Alaska to encourage more citizens to talk to their health care providers about 'advanced directives.'" That's almost identical to the abandoned proposal she now calls a "death panel".

W-w-w-wha?  Asking people to talk to their doctors and make decisions about their future is the same as having unelected, unaccountable bureaucrats  try to convince you that you don't need that pacemaker? 

Of course, he notes that the provision was abandoned.  Certainly not because it, in effect, did exactly what Palin said.  Oh, no.  It just wasn't worth fighting over when they can just stealthily put in restrictions on available coverage that don't involve discussing it with the patient.  I almost think they put in that provision to make it seem like the patient had a role in deciding what coverages they could receive at an advanced age.  I'm sure it wouldn't have mattered if the 99-year-old wanted a pacemaker but at least he'd feel he was invited to the conversation.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 11:22 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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And you thought you were a slob?

Dude's apartment was so full of trash, the police thought someone had died in there while answering a domestic dispute at the same complex.  Several of the officers were overwhelmed by the stench and became sick.  The tenant started shouting at them to get out as they cleared garbage to look for him.  Poor neighbors tried to get the NYC Housing Authority and even the Health Department to do something about this guy, and it never went anywhere.  Seriously, look at the pic in the article, that is friggin' nasty.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 10:44 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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September 08, 2009

GM is officially dead to me

Well, there goes the last saving grace GM had in my book.  I've always loved Cadillacs, so this is pretty much the end of the line as far as GM is concerned.  You know what?  If GM is going to deep six Cadillac, someone needs to revive Packard.  We need at least one good luxury American auto, and if it isn't Cadillac, it should be Packard.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 10:44 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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September 05, 2009

The (leftist) dog that didn't bark.

You've seen the story  (NY Times Warning!!1!!!) on Drudge about high unemployment among teenagers.
They manage to get a little "analysis" in
Of course, teenagers are likely to have fewer financial obligations than their older counterparts....

They do follow that up with some bad things that means, but they never mention two things that could be contributing to this:
The minimum wage was increased recently That's the first thing I thought, and it's not mentioned until the comments (the comments are actually mostly sane, that must gall the NY Times).

The other one? (I didn't even think about it until I saw it in the comments)
Illegal aliens. The commenter talked about illegal aliens working at fast food restaurants and mowing lawns, work that used to be done by teens.
It's not just that they jump ahead of the line, they screw low wage earners.

As one person put it, great, now they won't have anythiung to do, maybe they could join a gang or do all the stuff that idle teenagers do (Disclaimer: I used to be a teenager. Of course, I could work and cause problems, I multi-task well)

The NY Times, it's the way they surround a story... and cut off avenues of inquiry.

Posted by: Veeshir at 03:51 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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September 04, 2009

Teenagers are stupid

We all know that, but when you add sex and the Large Hadron Collider (yes, really) into the mix...

The girl, who is aged between 13 and 15, had heard rumours that particle accelerator under the Franco-Swiss border would bring about Armageddon when it was switched on last September.

At the time leading scientists including Prof Stephen Hawking were forced to deny claims that the £4.4bn accelerator would generate a black hole capable of swallowing up the earth.

In the event the collider kicked into life peacefully, although it has since been beset by technological problems.

But police in Brisbane, Australia believe that the teenage girl was so scared by the doomsday speculation that she agreed to have under-age sex with a boy in their school lavatories.

On top of all this foolishness, another student filmed them going at it and circulated it around the school via cell phones, so I bet now she wishes the world actually ended.

Posted by: Sean M. at 08:45 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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Unemployment numbers for August are in

Up to 9.7%, we're edging very close to 10%, and in reality, we probably are well over 10% when you bring the discouraged worker numbers into account.  You can also see that the number of jobs in the market has dropped considerably.  Not good.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 09:20 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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September 03, 2009

Life is Cruel

This guy hated his Carnival Cruise so much he jumped into the ocean.
I figure between the shuffle board and the annoying cruise director he was hoping for a clean death.
But fate had a cruel twist in store for him
Disney spokeswoman Rena Langley says the Disney Wonder pulled the passenger out of the water

That's right, a Carnival Cruise made life worth losing so he ended up on a Disney Cruise ship.
That's like something out of Euripides.

Posted by: Veeshir at 05:29 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Some early morning FAIL for you

What is the best time to close the Reagan National Airport metro station?  Why, Labor Day weekend, of course! 

Suddenly being too poor to travel anywhere doesn't seem so bad. 

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 07:19 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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