July 28, 2010

$69 dollars for a fucking hot dog?

Saw this at Hotair, and my first thought was,


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July 26, 2010

Uh-Oh, Climate Change and Illegal Immigration Have Teamed Up to Deal a One-Two Punch to the United States

(S)cientists are predicting another consequence of climate change: mass migration to the United States.
Between 1.4 million and 6.7 million Mexicans could migrate to the U.S. by 2080 as climate change reduces crop yields and agricultural production in Mexico, according to a study published online this week in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. The number could amount to 10% of the current population of Mexicans ages 15 to 65.

Oh Dear God, what can we do? Wait I know we can adopted the green house gas emissions targets set at Copenhagen. It’s the only way to preserve the American way of life.

Or we can look at this as what it is, scare tactics to try and drum up support for the Cap and Trade bill and comprehensive immigration reform, and probably any other languishing social program you care to name.

source

This is why we need a man like Basil Marceaux


Posted by: chad98036 at 10:07 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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July 23, 2010

Conor Friedrsdorf is a stupid piece of shit

I'm sorry. That's an insult to below-average pieces of shit...

You've probably heard about "The Ground Zero Mosque," an Islamic community center planned in Lower Manhattan. But I bet you haven't heard of The Ground Zero Strip Club.

There are actually a couple of adult entertainment venues that show up on Google Maps if you search around the former site of the World Trade Center. Internet reviewers seem to like New York Dolls best, due to its sexy, disproportionately Russian staff, mirrored stage and purportedly high-quality lap dances.

As yet, I haven't heard anyone wonder why our political class is silent as the sex industry operates on sacred ground.

Um, maybe because it wasn't a bunch of militant, fascist strippers who decided to kill around 3,000 innocent people on 9/11, you fucking dumbass.

(By the way, if you click on the link and look at his picture, just tell me you don't want to punch him in the dick.)

Posted by: Sean M. at 08:19 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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July 19, 2010

Dwyane Wade chooses his words...poorly

Being rich and famous has plenty of perks, but it also comes with a few drawbacks, like people listening to and reporting on every dumbass thing you say...

The Heat, which re-signed Wade and added LeBron James and Chris Bosh in free agency, is expected to be one of the most scrutinized teams in the NBA because of high expectations.

Referring to the potential reaction from losing two or three games in a row, Wade on Sunday said: "It's going to seem like the world has crashed down. You all are going to make it seem like the World Trade has just went down again.''

To be fair, he clarified his remarks by saying that he "was simply trying to say that losing a few basketball games should not be compared to a real catastrophe'' and apologized to anyone who was offended. Still, it goes to show that when people actually bother to listen to what you have to say, you have to think a little before opening your pie-hole.

Posted by: Sean M. at 08:37 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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July 15, 2010

Way to live down those stereotypes, comrades

I know, I know, as a full-fledged drunken Moron, I'm really not one to talk shit, but still...

Dozens of Russians, many of them drunk, are drowning daily as they head to water to escape a heatwave.

Vodka-drinking groups - some with small children - can be seen at lakes and ponds in and around the Russian capital where the current three-week heatwave may set a record of 98.6F (37C) this weekend.
Yeah, because there's no better way to stay hydrated during a heatwave than by guzzling some Val-U-Rite. That's the clear liquid they have in cups on the sidelines during marathons, right?

(More on the kids playing in the water in a second, with tragically predictable results.)
More than 1,200 people drowned across Russia in June this year, [Vadim Seryogin] said, including 233 between July 5 and July 12.

"The majority of those drowned were drunk," he said. "The children died because adults simply did not look after them."

Last week six children drowned in the Sea of Azov in southern Russia because the summer camp employees who were minding them were drunk.

Not that I'm siding with the drunken camp counselors or anything, but I hope for their sakes that the dead kids weren't fond of machetes and hockey masks, if you know what I'm saying.

Posted by: Sean M. at 12:26 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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July 12, 2010

A serious question

No, really, it is.  Why is Mel Gibson's career over but Charlie Sheen's and Alec Baldwin's aren't?  Seriously, why?  Charlie Sheen is a notorious abuser and what Alec Baldwin said to his daughter should have him shunned from even uncivilized society.  Yet it's Gibson whose career is over and Sheen remains the highest paid actor on network tv, iirc. 

I don't get it.  I seriously don't.

Palette cleanser of The Good Baldwin (yes, I know they aren't related) below:


more...

Posted by: alexthechick at 01:01 PM | Comments (13) | Add Comment
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July 05, 2010

Some bikers absolutely earned that South Park episode

This one, if you're unaware.  Watched some asshat today ride his Harley up the handicap incline on a curb, then proceed to park his bike on the sidewalk and shop in the local shopping plaza.  Do note, there were pleeeeeeeeeeenty of spaces in the parking lot, and there were plenty of motorcycles in the parking lot just like everyone driving cars, but oh no, no no no no no, we've gotta be Mr. Sooperkewlrebeldouche who can't handle his Harley getting a little warm in the sun, burns his delicate skin doncha know.  Really wish a police cruiser woulda rolled by.  Seriously, don't be an ass, there's a fucking parking lot there, use it.  Least his pipes weren't super loud.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 11:39 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Fuck you reality, I want to get off.

Further hijacking for personal reasons:

The BFF was readmitted to the hospital on Saturday morning with severe anemia.  Severe as in nearly to the point of death.  She was given blood and saline and all that and was improved enough for a liver biopsy and another CT scan yesterday. 

The oncologist came in today.  Cancer of undetermined origin.  He's talking Stage IV.  He's taking palliative care only.  He's talking terminal.  The liver biopsy results aren't in yet and will taken about a week or so but it's the worst possible news.  He said that there are spots on the liver and it's not certain her liver is in any condition for chemotherapy to be effective.  He didn't give a timeline since it's not really sure where the cancer is originating.  They believe it's some kind of cancer that's spreading through the bloodstream (I'm blanking on the term). 

Biopsy results are pending and he's going to be sending everything out for a second opinion but as of right now it's about determining how long before she dies, not if.  And we're taking weeks to months, not years.

She's devastated.  I want to punch God in the face. 

Please pray or send good thoughts or anything it is you do.  To be utterly selfish, I do not know what I will do without her.   I can't even begin to imagine it. 

Fuck cancer.  Fuck it with Dick Cheney's cougar condom'd dick.

Posted by: alexthechick at 02:12 PM | Comments (23) | Add Comment
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July 02, 2010

John Fitzgerald Page (aka The Male Jacqueline Mackie Paisley Passey aka The World's Worst Person) is back...

UPDATE:  Extra special douchey update below the fold.

and this time he is trying to extort $1,000 from a 19 year old girl.

If you don't remember Mr. Page (hereafter "douche") he made the news in 2007 when Gawker.com dubbed him the world's worst person after an e-mail exchange he had with a potential match on match.com went viral. Douche apparently couldn't handle being rejected after laying out his numerous charms for the lady and responded to her "no thanks" thusly:

I think you forgot how this works. You hit on me, and therefore have to impress ME and pass MY criteria and standards - not vice versa. 6 pictures of just your head and your inability to answer a simple question lets me know one thing. You are not in shape. I am a trainer on the side, in fact, I am heading to the gym in 26 minutes!

So next time you meet a guy of my caliber, instead of trying to turn it around, just get to the gym! I will even give you one free training session, so you don't blow it with the next 8.9 on Hot or Not, Ivy League grad, Mensa member, can bench/squat/leg press over 1200 lbs., has had lunch with the secretary of defense, has an MBA from the top school in the country, lives in a Buckhead high rise, drives a Beemer convertible, has been in 14 major motion pictures, was in Jezebel's Best dressed, etc. Oh, that is right, there aren't any more of those!


Regards,

John Douche

To fully understand what a prize Douche is you need to watch this interview he gave to CBS News:


OK, so now you have the background and we can move on to today's story. Apparently since the last time we met him Douche has started a talent agency in Atlanta in which he sends the models on publicly advertised casting calls and then collects (according to gawker) large commissions. A 19 year old girl figured out what he was doing and via a reply all to an email let everyone else know. Douche then tried to wring a little money out of her:

Subject: "Your options: APOLOGIZE/SETTLE/GET SUED" He tells the girls "I am going to educate you to a bit and then give you your options."

...

1) APOLOGIZE. I need a full, heartfelt, detailed apology, which I will send to all affected talent. You had nothing to lose by working with me, and everything to gain. If I made you $100 this year, you were up $100!

OR

2) Pay me $1000 settlement EACH by Sunday at midnight. This is to make up for commissions lost today and in the future, by you actively revealing my business sources to my talent. And your attempt to damage my reputation, question my intelligence and reduce my talent pool. Also, my name or my business name is never to cross your lips again.

OR

3) On Monday, I will begin the legal process to sue you both for the sum of $100,000 for defamation of character, libel, slander, current and future loss of income & talent pool. I will probably win an out of court settlement from you for $10K each pretty easily, based on the emails you each wrote that I have forwarded to my counsel.

After Rebecca called him and told him to fuck off, basically, Page Douche reiterated his accomplishments and demands in a new email. Adding, this time,

My legal team is prepared, I expect to hear from you ASAP about which option you want to explore. You stood your ground as tiny mouse against a cat, now that you recognize that cat is a mountain lion, maybe you will come to your senses.

Now personally I don't really have a problem with Douche's business model.  If the girls aren't smart enough to check the papers themselves that's on them.  I do have a problem with him threatening someone because they figured out what he was doing and warned others.  Let's face it he knew he wasn't really providing a valuable service, when people contract with an agent they do so because they believe they are gaining access to people / events that they wouldn't ordinarily have, if you think you are smart enough to play off that belief without actually delivering you have no room for complaint when you are caught.

To really get a full view of Douche's douchieness check out his playlist and the underlying theme of the titles.  (Normally I wouldn't point this out because God knows I make my share of spelling errors, and like everyone I make mistakes of fact, but I don't manage to work my MENSA membership into every conversation; that said song number 3 in his play list is Big Bad John and the artist is listed as Jonny Cash.  First, Jimmy Dean sang "Big Bad John", second, it's Johnny Cash not Jonny.  If I was MENSA I think I would be reviewing that membership. )


more...

Posted by: chad98036 at 10:34 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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Brilliant!

See if you can find the flaw in the, um, "reasoning" here...

Metrolink, the commuter rail service that serves five Southern California counties, is raising fares an average of 6% to help cover a decline in ridership and revenue. The increase is expected to raise $3.3 million next year.
This sort of thing happens out here (and I'm quite sure everywhere else elected or appointed government dumbasses are in charge) at least once every few years. The last instance I can remember off the top of my head was when the LAX parking garages decided that they would raise fees because cheaper surrounding private garages were luring away customers.

Stupid assholes.

Posted by: Sean M. at 12:51 AM | Comments (17) | Add Comment
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July 01, 2010

If there was ever a reason to give up WoW

this is it.

700 pd Ninjitsu master shows how she rolls by calling out former guildies:

I don't whether [know] we should blame video games for violence, or Pillsbury for being so delicious.

Posted by: chad98036 at 08:38 PM | Comments (12) | Add Comment
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