May 31, 2009

That'll learn 'em

Someday, I'm sure, he'll look back on this, sit down to pee, and laugh:

A 25-year-old Egyptian man cut off his own penis to spite his family after he was refused permission to marry a girl from a lower class family, police reported Sunday.

After unsuccessfully petitioning his father for two years to marry the girl, the man heated up a knife and sliced off his reproductive organ, said a police official.

Yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and guess that when he woke up at the hospital, his dad wasn't there in the room doing the whole "slow clap of hard-earned respect" thing.

(Via clintbird in the comments here.)

Posted by: Sean M. at 11:37 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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Nuance!: Twitter edition

Simple recipe for OUTRAGEUOS OUTRAGE!

1) Make a joke about The Most Smartest and Beautiful Woman in All History.

2) Wait about a half second. 

The best part is that, naturally, Tommy Christopher wasn't calling Jim Treacher a racist.  He was just saying that Treach didn't have the courage to admit his RACISM!!11!!!eleventy!!!111!!! openly. 

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 01:28 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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May 30, 2009

Bill O'Reilly acting all butthurt

Knew he was a twat, guess Falafelman didn't like being exposed for the hypocrite he is.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 09:02 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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You don't say

The whole "carbon credit" thing? Yeah, it turns out to pretty much be a scam. Oh, and as a side benefit, it's killing people in the Third World, too:

GFL is part of a worldwide carbon-trading scheme, centred in London, which is supposed to be helping to save the planet from global warming. On paper the scheme, which was ratified under the Kyoto agreement and supervised by the UN, looks like an efficient way to cut global carbon emissions. However, a Live investigation has exposed a series of major failings and loopholes in the scheme.

Four years ago, GFL installed technology to reduce the greenhouse gases it produces and was given a vast financial reward by the UN; a UK company was also given considerable sums for investing in the project. However, far from being a flagship green factory, GFL stands accused of poisoning the local environment.

But cap tax and trade is a great idea.

Posted by: Sean M. at 08:42 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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Really? They published this?

Yeah, this is a HuffPo story, but this one's gotta be linked.  Some dumb bastard who'll probably be paid a visit by the Secret Service (and probably deserves to) decided to buy an ad in a newspaper advertisement saying the following,

Warren Times Observer Publisher John Elchert says the ad appeared Thursday. It read, "May Obama follow in the steps of Lincoln, Garfield, McKinley and Kennedy!" The four presidents were all assassinated.

The newspaper staff, being journalists, did not get the obvious historical reference made in the ad at all and published it.  I'm still trying to decide who is the dumbest, the retard who wrote the ad, the newspaper for publishing it, or the fevered hivemind known as the HuffPo commenter for the sheer volume of hypocrisy they engage in through the comments.

I didn't like it when the left said this kind of insane shit about Bush, and I don't like it being said about Obama either.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 12:45 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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May 28, 2009

The best five bucks he's ever spent

Obviously we all know Bill O'Reilly is a tool, but he's also a hypocrite in his criticism of Hotair's inability to police every comment made on their site. 

Patterico went ahead and dropped the five bucks for the Bill O'Reilly site membership, and well, looky here, also here.  I can't wait to see Ted Baxter's BS excuse for this.

I think we're going to have a lot of fun with this.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 11:44 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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May 27, 2009

Beyond the pale

I've had my beefs with Allhpundit in the past, but HotAir does not deserve to be smeared by O'Reilly.  Here is a screenshot from tonight's Policing the Net segment, via The Right Scoop:

Unbelievable.  He used a comment from the site, tagged it as a blog posting, and used it to smear HotAir.

Since it will make me feel better, here is Mark Levin trashing O'Reilly's support for the bailouts.

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 08:33 PM | Comments (24) | Add Comment
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May 26, 2009

So what does Hans Brix have to say about this?

The Ronery One fired two more short range missiles.  My guess is that they're running out of food, so they're launching missiles with the hopes of getting some food aid out of the US and whoever else in exchange for laying low until they need more.  I wonder if the UN will send a strongly or sternly worded letter this time?

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 10:05 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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May 25, 2009

Why I'm not a libertarian, in one easy post

Because I celebrate Memorial Day, not Revisionist History Day.

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 10:46 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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May 24, 2009

Now You Know Why I Stick To Drinking Flower Pot Sized Cups Of Coffee

At least I don't fucking get cocaine in my system.

Authorities said the cocaine levels do not pose a health threat but are not permitted in foodstuffs.

The Frankfurter Neuen Presse reported that the investigation was prompted by the use of a de-cocainized extract of coca leaf in the drink. That means the drink cannot be classified as a foodstuff but as a narcotic and needs a special license, authorities said.

The newspaper reported that German retail group Rewe had already issued orders to remove the fizzy drink from its shops. Wilhelm Deitermann, spokesman for the North-Rhine Westphalia consumer ministry said he expected other German states to follow suit and ban the drink.

But Red Bull Cola has protested the action. “De-cocainized extract of coca leaf is used worldwide in foods as a natural flavouring,” the paper quoted the company saying. The company added that Red Bull Cola as well as other food that contains coca leaf extract is considered safe in the EU as well as in the US.

Posted by: eddiebear at 12:31 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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May 22, 2009

What's in a name?

Who knew that being petty and vindictive could potentially get you in trouble?

When married real estate agents Scott and Melinda Tamkin read online this spring about an episode of the hit crime drama “CSI” featuring real estate agents named Scott and Melinda Tamkin -- and a kinky-sex element -- the explanation seemed clear.

A house sale involving the Tamkins and a “CSI” producer had fallen apart four years before, and the producer was listed as the co-writer of the episode.

On Friday, the Tamkins filed a $6-million defamation and invasion-of-privacy lawsuit against the producer, Sarah Goldfinger, saying she humiliated them and cost them potential business “by creating from whole cloth characters engaged in a reckless lifestyle of sexual bondage, pornography, drunkenness, marital discord, depression, financial straits and possibly even murder.”

Yeah, I can see how someone might be just a little miffed about something like that.

Posted by: Sean M. at 08:42 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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May 20, 2009

No, you don't fucking say!

I voted a straight "Oh, Hells Naw" ticket on today's California special election, which was basically meant to bounce responsibility for cleaning up the state's budget mess back to the voters.

Oh, and check out this Master (Mistress?) of the Obvious:

"Obviously, it's disappointing," said Democratic Assemblywoman Noreen Evans, chairwoman of the Assembly Budget Committee. "But I think the voters are sending a message that they believe the budget is the job of the governor and Legislature. We probably need to go back and do our job."
Probably? Probably? What the fuck? What the fuck have you assholes been doing over the last few years? Oh, right...raising taxes, spending more than you can take in, coddling illegal immigrants, and scaring away productive businesses through...well, those policies I just mentioned.

Why don't you get the fuck back to work and start cutting the hell out of every fucking non-essential program that the state has even a dollar invested in? Why don't you look at the drain on public services and education that illegal immigration has cost us? Why don't you tell the public sector unions that they're going to have to work on restructuring their contracts if they want California to be viable again? Why don't you take a look at the high taxes that are moving productive people into other states?

Oh, right. Because the idiots here in places like Los Angeles and San Francisco and other coastal areas will keep on electing Democrats who don't give a shit, as long as they get re-elected and their contributors get theirs in the process.

Silly me.

Posted by: Sean M. at 12:57 AM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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May 19, 2009

Major Caudill and the case of the stolen essay

There's a popular essay that floats around in emails, message boards and other publications regarding the right to bear arms.  It's often attributed to a retired Marine,a Major Caudill.  The popular essay was even recently published in full in a book by Ted Nugent.  Problem:  Major Caudill doesn't exist, or at least he didn't write the essay, a freelance writer named Marko Kloos wrote it in 2007

I would hope that Ted Nugent and some of the others who have used the incorrectly attributed essay would apologize at the very least, and in the case of Ted Nugent, at least some small stipend to go with it, given that The Nuge probably made a fair bit from that book. 

I'll say that having your work and falsely attributed by Ted Nugent is more interesting than having your work falsely claimed by the Vice Chair of the Minnesota GOP.  You got me beat, Marko.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 07:53 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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May 18, 2009

Your conspiracy theory of the day

Chad finds some sweet delicious crazy.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 09:08 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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May 12, 2009

School Choice

I figured out why our elite overlords are so opposed to school choice. 

It is so they can give their kids an enormous competetive advantage against the rest of the world thus creating a permanent Kennedy-esque ruling class for America. 

This is how that position helps Michelle Obama's children.  Ka'plah, Michell, Ka'plah. 

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 04:21 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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May 08, 2009

This could be the funniest thing ever, or the most depressing

I'm not sure yet.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 12:27 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Well, that's gonna be a lawsuit

A NYC law firm had a large number of old case and client files and papers to get rid of, so they did the logical thing, had them transported securely and destroyed threw stacks of papers with the private information of thousands of clients on them into six dumpsters easily accessible to the public.  Yes, people were rooting through the papers.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 12:18 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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May 07, 2009

Oh, and Oprah

Michelle Obama isn't fit to hold Martha Washington's corset. 

Or Abigail Adams.  Or Barbara Bush.  I could go on and on but the effort is clearly wasted on someone with that large of a cock in your face.

It is official.  I declare a Fatwah on Oprah.


* - Yes, I'm calling her fat.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 09:36 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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May 06, 2009

Jenny Has An Excuse

She's semi-retarded.

On the other hand, fuck you, you irresponsible cunt.  Why don't you limit the damage you do to children to the victims that go to your day camps.

Oh, and thanks for our first retarded president.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 10:30 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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Did Not Finish?

If this is true, and Duke Nukem Forever never gets completed, George Broussard is going to become the most hated man in all of geekdom.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 09:19 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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