November 29, 2009

Mike Huckabee is full of FAIL

Volume 2,343,078,923

Maurice Clemmons, the 37-year-old Tacoma man being sought for questioning in the killing of four Lakewood police officers this morning, has a long criminal record punctuated by violence, erratic behavior and concerns about his mental health.

Nine years ago, then-Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee granted clemency to Clemmons, commuting his lengthy prison sentence over the protests of prosecutors.

Damn straight you're "less than likely" to run for president in 2012. 

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 09:45 PM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
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Epic pot-growing FAIL

Um, dudes, did you not notice what happens to be located right next door?

Oh, right. You were probably really, really baked.

Posted by: Sean M. at 09:19 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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So, will we get the makin' money b-rolls for Black Friday?

We had a modest increase of .5%, based on the total spent in retail stores.  As Ed notes correctly, what was spent is not an accurate indicator of how well retailers actually did.  At the end of the day, retailers make their money not on the sale item, but all the other stuff.  Retailers may have sold a ton of stuff, but might not have made as much money as last year.  When you buy a PS3 for some obscenely low price, the retailer did that at a loss, hoping that they're gonna make it up in games, controllers, cables, accessories and warranties, or at least hope you'll buy some other items with a high markup while you're there. 

Also I'd note that individual retailers may have performed better than normal, not because the economy is improving, or that they're kicking ass, but because some of their competitors have folded, or had to shut down part of their operations/locations.  Certain retailers may be getting a bigger slice of pie, but the size of the pie as a whole has shrunk.

I'll say this, don't treat Black Friday as the indicator of how retailers are going to perform.  Watch the rest of the Christmas season, and how much retailers actually made during the season, that'll give you a better idea of where things are.  The amount of money that exchanged hands means a hell of a lot less than actual profits.  If retailers can't get people into their stores without putting out items with massive discounts, and can't get customers to buy items that actually draw a profit, they're gonna be hurting, and will probably put a big chill on the economy as a whole.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 02:46 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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November 25, 2009

Girls, Guns and Stripper Nuns and still this movie looks like it is going to suck major ass

How do you mess up a movie that has nuns in high heels and fishnet stockings? I just don't understand.

Posted by: chad98036 at 07:30 PM | Comments (13) | Add Comment
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November 22, 2009

Where Jeff Jacoby has it wrong

So, he starts out with this,

You want America to be a land of boundless opportunity and freedom, where people are treated as individuals and judged on their merits. You reject the divisive identity politics of the left - what matters most about any of us, you would insist, is not race or class or ethnic origins: it is personal character and achievement. There are few things about contemporary politics you deplore more than the demonizing or scapegoating of entire groups (“white males,’’ “the rich,’’ “the Christian right,’’ “gun owners’’), as though every member of the group is interchangeable and indistinguishable, wholly defined by a single disparaging label.

Okay, sure, go on.

But let someone mention “illegal immigrants,’’ and your principles fly out the window.

Oh this better fucking be good.

He references Soviet of Massachusetts Premier Patrick's effort to allow illegal immigrants to receive in-state tuition rates for college.  Then offers,

This is outrageous, you protest. It rewards people who broke the rules. It’s unfair to the taxpayers who subsidize public higher education. Why should an illegal immigrant get a valuable tuition break that Massachusetts wouldn’t give to a kid from Maine or New Hampshire?

Yeah, pretty much what anyone who isn't a complete fucking retard would say, then quotes Charlie Baker, who is apparently making a run for governor in the Soviet of Massachusetts, who pretty much agrees with the statement above.  Jacoby accuses Baker of shallow sloganeering, then condemns opponents of amnesty,

It is even more dispiriting to see conservatives assail immigrants instead of the insane immigration system that gave most of them no legal way to enter the United States.

You dishonest motherfucker.

The idea that conservatives are "assailing immigrants" is obscene, that Jacoby would accuse conservatives opposed to amnesty of such is even more obscene.  For starters, all but a handful of goofball Buchananites are anti-immigrant (and we all know how I feel about that Nazi fellating anti-Semite piece of debris), so to equate opposition to illegal immigration with legal immigration is a dirty fucking rat move.  Most, if any attacks on illegal immigrants, have been on the ones who run around waving their home countries' flags, demanding they be granted amnesty.  Excuse me?  Let me say that again, these are people in violation of our laws, and have the fucking audacity to demand, angrily we grant them amnesty, and you're criticizing those of us who condemn it?  Fuck you, Jeff.

As for attacking the insane legal immigration system, yeah Jeff, we've been doing that all along, but just like the political elite, for you, it's easier to pretend we haven't and do whatever destructive insane plan you've got cooked up.  The immigration system is FUBAR'd, bigtime.  That doesn't mean we get to pretend it doesn't exist, that doesn't warrant violation of the law, and it damn well doesn't justify giving people who broke the law a pass.  Laws barring marijuana possession and use may be stupid, but that doesn't mean I'm going to roll myself a fatty the size of a Pringles can and expect not to get my ass arrested if caught, and I guarantee Jacoby would think I was fucking stupid if I then angrily demanded that I get a free pass.

We of course get the, "What about so-and-so from (foreign nation here), who was brought in by their parents when they were a baby, why should she have to suffer, her family payes taxes, why should she have to pay the out of state rate, blah, blah, blah," story.  Which of course is an appeal to emotion, not a rational argument.  He then accuses conservatives of being irrational,

How is that a rational public policy? How is Massachusetts improved by making it impossible for an accomplished high-school graduate, a lifelong resident of the state, to gain a university degree? Who benefits when her education - along with the higher earning potential it would lead to - is cut short? She doesn’t. You don’t. Massachusetts taxpayers certainly don’t.

Okay, I have my own question:  How does making the concept of equality under the law void improve Massachusetts?  Or in any state for that matter?  No amnesty supporter has answered this question for me in a satisfactory manner. 

If Republicans really believe, as Baker says, that “it doesn’t make any sense’’ to allow illegal immigrants to enjoy the same benefits as other state residents, why stop with in-state tuition? Why not bar them from driving on state highways? From camping in state parks? From using libraries?

Well, yeah, that kinda the idea behind deportation of illegal immigrants.

Those immigrants didn’t come here in order to be lawbreakers; they broke a law in order to come here.


The concept of equality under the law is central principle of America, you don't try to experience the benefits of a nation that works because people are equal under the law by demanding that you be given extralegal privilege, you dumb motherfucker.  How fucking hard is this for people to understand?  Does Jacoby even recognize the kind of internal instability we could be welcoming by rewarding lawbreakers in this manner?  Or does he not care?

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 08:38 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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November 20, 2009

Climate Change: Poor, minority women hardest hit.

No, really.

Women in developing countries will be the most vulnerable to climate change, a report from the UN Population Fund warns.

This keeps up much longer and news editor's faces will be hardest hit. 

By me.

With a pool cue.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 09:46 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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November 19, 2009

Oh. My.

While this post actually is rather interesting about the jurisdiction and powers of the tax court, it's the first comment that really makes it a winner.

Let's just say that someone must have run out of tinfoil.

Posted by: alexthechick at 04:41 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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November 15, 2009

Iran to Russia: Give us our missiles, you dickheads!

You've either got to be really fucking stupid, really fucking clever, or really fucking insane to throw this kind of rhetoric around when you're Iran, and the object of your tirade is friggin' Russia.  Protip to crazyass Iranian generals:  Don't give this kind of shit to a nation with enough nuclear warheads to turn your entire nation into a lifeless glowing green parking lot for being late on their missile delivery, especially if you're buying your missiles from the friggin' Russians.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 04:12 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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November 11, 2009

Message Not Received

I am seriously starting to get the vibe that our Congressbetters really do not give a shit what we have to say or thing about them, and really do not want to hear from us either. Just a hunch.

And when I see shit like this, I feel like unleashing a profane tirade for once in my life, but I am too tired, and am so angry, I have lost the ability to speak, other than to just scream "FUCK YOU!" a lot, so I will take my leave and let Congress know that they are cordially invited to rape themselves with a blender.


Posted by: eddiebear at 04:51 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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November 10, 2009

Aw, seems Ricky Hollywood doesn't like slander and libel now

Levi Johnston's lawyer sent a legal notice to Twitter demanding they pull an account that was pretending to be his worthless self.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 12:22 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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November 09, 2009

Ah, nostalgia

Maybe I'm getting forgetful in my old age, but I don't seem to remember a whole bunch of people getting shot trying to cross over to your side of The Wall.


Posted by: Sean M. at 05:36 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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November 07, 2009

Yuppie douchebags want to silence the guns of Old Ironsides

I'm growing damned tired of suburbanites and yuppies setting up developments and then trying to use their money and political power to muscle locals around.  Now we have a bunch of yuppie shitbags who are griping about the flag ceremony performed by the USS Constitution. 

How douchebaggy?

Miffed residents of a posh condo complex have invited the commanding officer of the USS Constitution over for a glass of wine so he can hear for himself that the frigate’s twice-daily cannon blasts - a tradition dating to 1798 - are “more disruptive to the neighborhood than you might have imagined.”

“Over the summer, we have entertained several times, and we have had guests sit up in shock when the cannon goes off,” the resident wrote. “It has also awakened them at 8 a.m. while they are vacationing and then blasted them again at sunset.”

This douchebaggy.  Did you think of warning your guests, dipshit?

They're demanding that there be less firings, and with a lower powder charge.  The commander of the USS Constitution,

Cooper, a 39-year-old Marshfield native, said he was surprised by the complaint, but he wants to work with the residents. “We’re hoping to find a way where we can be good neighbors and maintain the tradition,” he said.

You know what, I have a better idea, how about the next time a yuppie douche complains, his condo gets a fucking broadside?  Dickhead, you fucking moved to the port, you knew Our ship was there, you know what Our ship means to Our nation, you know they fire the cannons for the flag ceremony, and yet you move there, and demand what was there before you to change to your whim.  Fuck you, sit the fuck down, shut the fuck up, or move the fuck away from our fucking boat, you spoiled selfish yuppie piece of fucking trash.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 12:37 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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November 03, 2009

How do you write "Not this one, idiot!" on your brain?

If managed care means I'm going to have to let Rhode Island Hospital perform surgery on me, I might as well kill myself now.

Seriously, how do you operate on the wrong part of the brain three times?

Posted by: Alice H at 09:03 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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A friendly PSA to everyone above...a certain age

The word "gangbangers" no longer means what it once did.  Stop using it to describe gang members.  It only confuses/titillates the young people. 

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 11:59 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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Great news!

It seems that fires were down a whopping twelve percent in America's worst urban hellhole this Halloween weekend!

The city saw a 12 percent drop in fires over the three-day period around Halloween compared to a year ago, Mayor Dave Bing announced this morning.

"This shows a small number of people can have a big impact," said Bing, who added that an unknown number of city employees who generally help patrol the city did not participate this year because of battles over wage concessions.

According to fire department statistics released at a noon press conference in the City Hall, there were 119 fires -- 91 of which were suspicious -- from Thursday to Saturday. Last year, there were 136 fires during the same period, 94 of which were suspicious. In 2007, there were 142 fires of which 111 were suspicious, according to the city.

Thank goodness there were three whole fewer suspicious fires in Detroit this year than last year.  Victory!

Remind me, which political party has run Detroit (and most of the country's major cities that have been sliding into ruin, for that matter) for the last few decades?

Posted by: Sean M. at 01:15 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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