Andrew Sullivan, the last True Conservative™

Okay, maybe not the last one—after all, we still have Frum, Brooks, and Parker to look toward for sage wisdom—but here's the author of The Conservative Soul talking about his fantasy date:

It's time for the sane center and the left to rally behind this president, especially given the domestic and foreign policy recklessness of the alternative.

The "alternative," I'm assuming, is a massive wave of GOP wins in the midterm elections. The "recklessness" is harder to pin down. Could it be...

Spending cuts in an era of massive, Obama-created deficits?

The repeal of a law that, for the first time in the nation's history (and, very arguably, in violation of the Constitution) would compel citizens to purchase something whether they want to or not?

The extension of tax cuts during a recession, thereby allowing business owners to grow the economy?

Kicking creeps like Barney Frank who helped to engineer the economic collapse out of office?

Making sure that a leftist pipe dream like Cap and Tax never gets near Obama's desk?

It's funny, but I get the feeling that Sullivan isn't really a conservative at all. But, then again, I'm just a nobody and I never get invited to appear on libertarian Bill Maher's show.

Posted by: Sean M. at 04:54 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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....

I feel like the Kurt Cobain of my generation.  But people just don't understand me.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 04:42 PM | Comments (17) | Add Comment
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Skewl r gud

Let the "I want that sort of education!" jokes commence.

Posted by: Alice H at 01:05 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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Teh fuck?

Skip ahead to around 1:12 if you're not actually interested in watching a clip of the NCIS season premiere...



Um, what the hell kind of commie bullshit is that?

Posted by: Sean M. at 11:50 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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Blogrolling script pulled

Some of you have received warnings about malware due to a bad script seeded into Blogrolling.  Blogrolling script has been removed and will stay removed till blogrolling gets their shit in order.  Saw Patterico going on about Blogrolling's malware issue on Twitter, so I know we're not the only ones.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 10:27 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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I sure hope there's more to this than what's being reported

Maybe the objecting parents were being asses - er, booties - at the meeting and that's why their daughter was kicked off the squad.  Because I'd sure hate to think that the other parents were all about having their 6-year-old daughters call attention to body parts that shouldn't be having attention called to.

Posted by: Alice H at 03:11 AM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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Stripper In A Cart?

Stripper in a cart!

Posted by: eddiebear at 11:34 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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Bad Parenting: Rule 1

It is impossible to be a good parent if you are unaware of your child's location. 

Prosecutors in Milwaukee County have charged a 20-year-old mother with misdemeanor child neglect after the woman's 2-year-old daughter was found wandering Milwaukee's streets near 27th and Burleigh late this past Monday night.

Well, thank God they found her!  I'm sure her mother was worried sick!  Why add insult to injury?!?

Police released the girl's picture to the media after investigators were unable to figure out who she was.  Someone recognized the girl and directed police to the girl's mother, Shymika Williams.

According to a criminal complaint, the girl's mother told police that she had taken the girl to a home near 29th and Burleigh approximately two weeks ago.  The mother said she paid the people there $25 to watch her daughter for the weekend.

"The people there."  Heh.  Well, I'm sure they were mature adults who could be trusted caring for a child.  Someone must have abducted her or something.

That person, who is a 13-year-old, corroborated the story about watching the girl.

Wait, what the fuck?  She better have rushed back after the weekend.

While the mother didn't know those people's last names or exact address, she said they had watched her daughter before and were related to her sister's children.

As far as I know?  I mean, Obama's related to McCain, right? 

She said after the weekend, a person named NeNe took the girl and that was the last she time she had seen the girl.

Well, as long as fucking NeNe has her.  Finally, some adult supervision.

The mother claims she hadn't seen her daughter for two weeks.  It's not clear where the girl was the entire time, although the mom did say that after a week, NeNe called her and asked if she could watch her longer.  The mother told authorities that NeNe lives in a foster home.

What.  The fuck. 

I believe it is time to play euthanize six degrees of Shymika Williams.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 10:54 AM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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Please oh please let the author be in Texas

Where "he just needed killin" is still a valid defense.

I suppose the good news is, if we find someone in possession of this manual, we can lynch him right away instead of waiting for him to actually hurt someone.

Posted by: Alice H at 01:14 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Probably too soon for this

This is the same guy who refused to participate in the Super Bowl Shuffle because he thought it would be a distraction.



via Gawker.

And in keeping with the basketball spirit, Deadspin has a collection of bleacher collapse videos.

Posted by: Alice H at 11:12 AM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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Kathleen Parker continues to be stupid

We have a few tried and true punching bags here, and Kathleen Parker is one who seldom fails to disappoint, so to speak.

In a column where she suggests that social networking sites like Facebook and MySpace may hold the key to Middle East peace—Facebook "friends" don't tend to kill each other, she basically contends—everyone's least favorite "conservative" columnist manages to out-stupid herself with the following:

Meanwhile, evidence mounts that sentiments are shifting among younger people, whose worldviews are broader than those of previous generations. Recent polling by Frank Luntz found that American Jewish college students are more willing than their elders to question the Israeli position. They resist groupthink and desperately want peace.

Might Palestinian youth feel similarly? Alas, I could find no similar polls.

Ahem.

First of all, we're talking about American college kids who have probably never faced a Hamas rocket attack being polled here, not Israelis. Secondly, you "could find no similar polls" because...

1.) I doubt Frank Luntz does much polling in Gaza and/or the West Bank and, more importantly...

2.) Many Palestinian children are brought up from birth to hate their Jewish neighbors and are taught early and often that killing people is a great way to get into heaven.

Such people are not known to desperately want peace.

Meanwhile, Kathleen Parker draws a paycheck from the MFM in between remembering to breathe.

Posted by: Sean M. at 05:40 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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“I’m a dentist and I don’t think this country is headed in the right direction.”

I was going to call your bullshit, but you're a dentist? 

Well, in that case, fuck away!

"I'm a vagrant blogger and I don't think conventional physics theories are getting enough play vis a vis string theory."

"I'm a asteroid mining robot and I really like Jennifer Aniston's hair."

Could his being a dentist have less to do with the rest of his statement?  Is there a word for completely unrelated expositional phrases in a sentence?

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 06:09 PM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
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