February 28, 2009

The most offensive song EVAR

I would put it under the fold, but it's one of those videos that they won't let you embed, so I'll just link it instead.  But be warned, it's deeply offensive.  Not just because of the lyrics, which are, to be sure, foul.  No, it's also incredibly offensive to think that professional musicians actually spent time working on it.  A songwriter actually had the idea for it, and composed the song.  Someone directed the video.  Money was spent on it.  People got paid to do this.  Just thinking about it is enough to crush the human spirit.

Oh, and it's also quite catchy.

Posted by: Sean M. at 05:52 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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February 27, 2009

How are we supposed to tell the difference?

I don't generally pay much attention to the world of high fashion, but this caught my attention:

But there was an intentional dark side – worn boyfriend jeans with leather suspenders hanging down below the hip, patched leggings and other battered looks that were shocking for their lack of finish and still quite cool. Like we said, hobo chic.
Now, that's just plain dangerous.

Posted by: Sean M. at 09:05 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Haste makes for a bad aftertaste

I was all out of Val-U-Rite vodka (as is wont to occasionally happen), so I went to pick some up on the way home from an appointment. Apparently, I didn't look closely enough at the label, because when I opened it and took a drink, it tasted wrong. Actually, it didn't taste wrong initially. It had an aftertaste I can only describe as Lemon Pledge-y.* In my haste, it turns out that I picked up the "Citron" version, which also turns out to have a lesser alcohol content. Damnit. And since I opened it, I can't take the stuff back.

*And, no, I've never actually tasted Lemon Pledge. It's one of those things where you go, "I can tell how that would probably taste based on the way it smells."

Posted by: Sean M. at 05:22 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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February 26, 2009

This is not at all ripe for abuse

Hey, looky here...a website called What Obama Means To Me.  And you can leave comments about, well, What Obama Means To You.  I'm sure you'll all have plenty of nice, unicorn-themed things to say.

(Thanks to wiserbud.)

Posted by: Sean M. at 12:38 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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February 25, 2009

Unlikely Victims Of The Recent Ponzi Schemes

Yeah, I know. Calling a pro athlete a "victim" of anything is a risky proposition. But Scott Eyre of the World Champion Philadelphia Phillies is drawing attention for his situation.

Todd Zolecki reports that each of the players has had his assets frozen while the government investigates an $8 billion fraud allegedly perpetrated by the Stanford Financial Group. So unless these players—and all the others who have been defrauded—have a stockpile of cash around, things are going to be lean until the investigation is over, which hopefully won't be long.

"I can't pay my bills right now," Eyre said. "My wife just wrote all these checks to pay bills, and they're all going to bounce. If it takes a week or two to get my money back, I'm going to have to ask my teammates for some money. Seriously, I'm going to have to ask them that. I can't get any money out."

And so a man making $2 million on his new 1-year contract has just $13 in his wallet right now. We're sure his fellow WFCs will pitch in to help the Eyres out in their time of need, but what grown man wants to even entertain the notion of asking to borrow money. Here's hoping the defrauders get theirs in this life and the next.

I repeat that I have difficulty reaching into my pocket for any athlete. But this is another case of what happens when you let other people handle your money.

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Chris Brown enrolls in anger management classes

Ah yes, rehab, the ultimate cure-all.  I would have preferred a rehab with steel bars.  Your takeaway quote:

But insiders are rumbling that Chris shouldn't be taking the anger management classes alone. "Rihanna is temperamental, too," says our snitch. "They're both too hot-headed for their own good."
You see, they're both at fault if you think about it.  If she didn't get so mad, and if he didn't love her so much, he wouldn't have done this to her.


And yes, I do feel mildly retarded for blogging about this. 

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 02:42 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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February 24, 2009

Why you should watch Obama's speech

Rep. Jason Chaffetz is reporting that one of the Messiah's teleprompters is broken.  We all know how brilliant The One is when his teleprompters screw up.

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 07:34 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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You know what, fuck you

A certain blogger who's got a gig at a Gay Conspiracy and Rumor mag has something important to say, though I can't (even if I wanted to, and I don't) link to what he writes:

More birth-certificate weirdness. I'm convinced by this evidence. But I see absolutely no reason why Obama himself should not release the actual original document and provide it to the press. The president of the United States, like anyone else in public life, has no "right to privacy" in a matter like this, and there's absolutely no good reason why he should refuse to give the press every conceivable piece of evidence at his disposal to clear up even paranoid conspiracy theories about his birth and eligibility to be president.

I mean: who does he think he is? Sarah Palin?

You're a Goddamned conspiracy theorist who's trafficked in the vilest of rumors. Who the fuck do you think you are to point out that people are off their nut for thinking anything about any Goddamned thing? YOU are a fucking crazy person, and I hope you end up in the Goddamned booby hatch.

Oh, and is there any reason why Barack hasn't released his full medical records yet? I'm fairly certain he's a natural born citizen, but we haven't seen much about his health. How about that, Andi?

Posted by: Sean M. at 05:46 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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February 23, 2009

The pot calling the kettle obsessive

TigerHawk gives a certain shrieking, hysterical doucheblogger a smackdown regarding obsessive, incessant campaigns.  Heh.


Posted by: Sean M. at 09:43 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Wait, you mean Vince lied to us?

Now, I'm starting to wonder if I can trust Billy Mays...

Posted by: Sean M. at 03:14 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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February 22, 2009

McDonald's employee rejected for worker's comp after getting shot defending customer

I dunno, I guess you can make the argument that getting shot three times defending a customer isn't covered by your insurance company's plan, but isn't this one of those ones where if you're running an insurance firm, you just cave and give the guy the worker's comp, if for no other reason than the bad PR a rejection brings?  The insurance firm is using this as their excuse,

As part of the denial, the insurer included a page that details expectations of employees during orientation.  In a robbery situation it tells employees not to do anything that would put themselves or anyone else in danger.  Wilson asserts that clause does not apply in this incident.

Anyone who has worked in fast food or retail at least once in their lives has seen this clause, but this clearly wasn't a robbery, this was an attack, there is a difference, and if this is the best the insurers have got, I hope they get taken to the cleaners.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 02:10 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Speaking of lube

I bring you a Public Service Announcement:  Boy killed anally when office chair explodes.

Hey, I care about you degenerates and I don't want this to happen to you.

(Note:  people are calling shenanigans on the story but I'm not about to let pesky things like facts and accuracy get in the way of a good joke)

Posted by: alexthechick at 02:43 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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The worst sitcom line-up since the Great Depression

The shows the networks have ordered up so far aren't exactly filled with hopenchange*.

*I'm speaking of the campaign season hopenchange.  The dire synopses are perfectly in line with presidential hopenchange (a.k.a despair).

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 12:29 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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February 21, 2009

Is she still just considered a "candidate's child"?

In Meghan McCain's world, every Republican (and everything Republican) sucks.  Except dear old dad of course.  He's the model conservative. 

She's following in daddy's footsteps, she is.

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 09:17 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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February 20, 2009

Weep for the future

Rich Lowry has a good but depressing column on my home state and Der Governator today:

If the future happens in California, we all should tremble at its ever-expanding debt, falling credit ratings, crushing pension obligations, suffocating regulation, and rising taxes — with environmentally preening, ill-considered restrictions on carbon emissions thrown on top. California Democrats are only slightly ahead of national Democrats, so the country’s fiscal future may be in preview in Sacramento.
Read the whole thing, and pray that Lowry is wrong about the shape of things to come for the rest of you. (Although it's probably too late for that.)

Posted by: Sean M. at 12:37 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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February 19, 2009

In Honor of the Spendulous Bill

The long-await and, I'm sure, much anticipated face-cocking of the Fresh Prez of Bill Ayers:

Congratulations, shit-stain.  You've earned it.  When I have to explain the story of the economic collapse of the greatest nation on Earth to my daughter, I'll be sure to show her this picture.

She'll probably be too busy working three jobs to support all the crack-whore illegal immigrant murderer single mothers with their gold houses and rocket cars to listen anyway.

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February 18, 2009

There Are Many Places You Can Place Your Man-Junk

But a meat grinder shouldn't be one of them.

It is understood the 23-year-old was working in Northgate when he was injured just after 2pm.

A Department of Emergency Services spokeswoman could not identify the type of grinder that had injured the man or detail how he came in contact with the device.

Although the extent of his injuries is not known, paramedics who treated the man at the scene were able to stem the bleeding.

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February 17, 2009

This can't be right

B-but, I thought the stimulus was supposed to fix everything...

Doubts that the government's stimulus and bank bailout programs can stop the global economic freefall dragged Wall Street to within a fraction of a point of its lowest close in 5 1/2 years Tuesday.
Why, it's like the markets aren't reacting to the passage of the bill very well at all. But that's just crazy, right?

Posted by: Sean M. at 08:59 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Is there anyone worse than Debbie Schlussel?

At least Kathleen Parker provides us with some comedy gold every once in a while.  Today she frets that Gov. Palin didn't throw Bristol's pregnant ass out to the curb, amongst other things.  Ladies and gentlemen, the conservative Maureen Dowd:

Not only does she not believe in abstinence, but she doesn’t believe in marriage either, apparently, since it’s been almost a year since she learned she was pregnant and almost two months since she had the kid. And yet, she’s still a baby mama. Hilarious that people call her mother–who enabled this baby mamahood and continues to put a roof over it–the “conservative of the year.” Simply hilarious. Not only has America become socialist under Obama, but conservatives have abandoned any sense of family values. In this one family–the new template for America’s conservative movement–you have a Mr. Mom, teenage pregnancy, single motherhood, and opposition to abstinence teaching. Awesome.

Todd's a Mr. Mom?  I didn't know he was allowed to work on the North Slope oil fields from his home in Wasilla. 

I'd question what solution Ms. Schlussel would have for this situation, but we know that she wouldn't have any.  Well, apart from Gov. Palin quitting her job to be a stay at home mom (NTTAWWT) and fitting all the kids with chastity belts. 

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 04:50 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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Volcano! Earthquake! Tsunami! Oh my!

Popular Mechanics has an article up on 5 natural disasters that will hit the US.

Now, my love and glee for such a topic is well known.  New Madrid ftw!  But that's not why I'm linking.  Go.  Take a look at the comments.  There's some weapons grade crazy over there.  Seriously. 

You know, whenever I feel that I may be inching out into black helicopter land, I read stuff like that and realize that there's a whole universe of insane still to explore. 

Posted by: alexthechick at 10:26 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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