August 22, 2008
The League of Republican Villains
Deep in the Florida Everglades, from within the swamp rises a giant steel skull. Inside meets the most sinister collection of evil forces ever assembled, AKA the Republican Party. Their purpose? To choose the optimum sidekick for the warmongering death-droid McCainiac.
Fortunately, an insider snuck us a transcript of the horrifying proceedings. Read on, if you dare!
more...
Fortunately, an insider snuck us a transcript of the horrifying proceedings. Read on, if you dare!
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McCain Cockroach FTW!
I hate bugs. I hate rodents. I hate snakes. They have no purpose in life and should just die in a fire. Okay, so maybe their purpose is to make men look like heroes when they squish one. Believe me, there is nothing hotter than a man who is willing to lay down his shoe on a giant spider, at the first shriek of this damsel in distress. After all, what gal isn't secretly attracted to Ned the Orkin Man?
But maybe some insects have a purpose. If Madagascar hissing cockroaches (pics here) can predict presidential elections, Senator John McCain (R-AZ) could be the next leader of the insect kingdom free world.
I cannot believe I am writing about gigantic cockroaches that some people actually keep for pets. Ewww. What levels I stoop to, to find the unusual stories to entertain y'all!
Did I mention that I absolutely hate all kinds of creepy-crawly critters?
But maybe some insects have a purpose. If Madagascar hissing cockroaches (pics here) can predict presidential elections, Senator John McCain (R-AZ) could be the next leader of the insect kingdom free world.
The roach representing the Arizona senator broke from the gate first, covering the distance in less than five seconds, while the Obama insect dawdled.FAIL! The "Hopey-Changy Goodness" was not enough to secure the win for Obamaramadingdong. Even the unnamed GOP VP cockroach beat the unnamed Democrat VP cockroach.
I cannot believe I am writing about gigantic cockroaches that some people actually keep for pets. Ewww. What levels I stoop to, to find the unusual stories to entertain y'all!
Did I mention that I absolutely hate all kinds of creepy-crawly critters?
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August 21, 2008
Inside the Meeting of the Legion of Democrats
more...
Only the highly-connected Internet resources of DPUD could bring you this: a transcript of the top-secret planning meeting of the Legion of Democrats as they try to figure out who would make the optimum sidekick for Barack Obama, AKA Captain Bullshit.
The transcript is below the fold..
The transcript is below the fold..
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Newsweek : Laptop in Toilet Story was False
Newsweek today admitted that several major editorial oversights lead to their controversial cover story last week alleging that laptops were being flushed down the toilet to humiliate the bloggers that have been held there since the 2006 elections.
The story had caused a storm of controversy, notably from the so-called Right Wing Nutroots, which began by counter-arguing that a laptop could not be flushed down a toilet.
An internal investigation revealed that the flushings never actually took place, although one story of a blogger dropping her glasses in the toilet does appear to be true. However, guards at Gitmo insist they are innocent, largely because no bloggers are currently being held there that the government will admit to.
There are a large number of prisoners in the secret Area 22, which suspiciously does not have Internet connections and is cut off from the outside world.
Said blogger and free-thinker Jane Hamsher “even if the story isn’t true in the traditional sense of the word, it’s likely that the spirit behind the story is true, and that we should impeach Dick Cheney right now.â€
The story had caused a storm of controversy, notably from the so-called Right Wing Nutroots, which began by counter-arguing that a laptop could not be flushed down a toilet.
An internal investigation revealed that the flushings never actually took place, although one story of a blogger dropping her glasses in the toilet does appear to be true. However, guards at Gitmo insist they are innocent, largely because no bloggers are currently being held there that the government will admit to.
There are a large number of prisoners in the secret Area 22, which suspiciously does not have Internet connections and is cut off from the outside world.
Said blogger and free-thinker Jane Hamsher “even if the story isn’t true in the traditional sense of the word, it’s likely that the spirit behind the story is true, and that we should impeach Dick Cheney right now.â€
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August 19, 2008
Bombshell Allegations Threaten to Sink McCain
For the second consecutive presidential election, a candidate's war record has come under fire from those who served with him. This time, however, it is the Republican candidate who will have to answer serious charges about how he really spent the war.
The charges, which have been dubbed dubbed "Swift Boat 2: The Revenge" after the scandal that sunk John Kerry's presidential bid in 2004, have been circulating for weeks in the blogosphere but have recently caught nationwide traction following advanced publication of excerpts from a damning book titled "Industrial Light and McCainiacs: the Real Story of the Hanoi Hilton."
The charges, which have been dubbed dubbed "Swift Boat 2: The Revenge" after the scandal that sunk John Kerry's presidential bid in 2004, have been circulating for weeks in the blogosphere but have recently caught nationwide traction following advanced publication of excerpts from a damning book titled "Industrial Light and McCainiacs: the Real Story of the Hanoi Hilton."
Click below the fold for the whole story...
more...
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Survey Reveals Internet Conservative's VP Wish List
A recent poll of the right-wing blogosphere reveals the following "Wish List" of qualities for a potential GOP vice-presidential running mate for John McCain:
81% said "Needs to know how to handle a gun."
75% said "Nominee should look good in assless chaps, and preferably owns a pair, and very preferably will wear them to the convention."
72% said "Must shore up McCain's conservative credentials, in reality and not as compared to the Democratic party or your average journalist."
65% said "Was not ever the Democratic nominee for anything, particularly president or vice president."
54% said "Must have executive experience, particularly in a state where large areas rarely register above zero and are currently off-limits to oil and gas drilling."
49% said "Must not be a desiccated fossil."
46% said "Is not Phil Gramm or other McCain cohort famous for 'crossing the aisle' and screwing the GOP on legislation."
43% said "Should be solidly pro-life, as evidenced by wearing tight sweaters which will make us glad to be alive."
42% said "Should not be a flaming moron."
31% said "Shouldn't be a GOP up-and-comer who will be forever tainted by the stink of failure that this election will inevitably bestow upon the loser, which is likely McCain."
27% said "Should have a name that rhymes with Fairy Sailin."
12% said "Should be distinguishable from Lamar Alexander, most importantly by not being Lamar Alexander."
4% said "Should adequately fill lead role in our recurring 'Naughty Librarian Fantasy'."
0.5% (Ace of Spades) said "Hnnggh, unnnggg, mmmm" when asked about specific choices, such as Sarah Palin.
81% said "Needs to know how to handle a gun."
75% said "Nominee should look good in assless chaps, and preferably owns a pair, and very preferably will wear them to the convention."
72% said "Must shore up McCain's conservative credentials, in reality and not as compared to the Democratic party or your average journalist."
65% said "Was not ever the Democratic nominee for anything, particularly president or vice president."
54% said "Must have executive experience, particularly in a state where large areas rarely register above zero and are currently off-limits to oil and gas drilling."
49% said "Must not be a desiccated fossil."
46% said "Is not Phil Gramm or other McCain cohort famous for 'crossing the aisle' and screwing the GOP on legislation."
43% said "Should be solidly pro-life, as evidenced by wearing tight sweaters which will make us glad to be alive."
42% said "Should not be a flaming moron."
31% said "Shouldn't be a GOP up-and-comer who will be forever tainted by the stink of failure that this election will inevitably bestow upon the loser, which is likely McCain."
27% said "Should have a name that rhymes with Fairy Sailin."
12% said "Should be distinguishable from Lamar Alexander, most importantly by not being Lamar Alexander."
4% said "Should adequately fill lead role in our recurring 'Naughty Librarian Fantasy'."
0.5% (Ace of Spades) said "Hnnggh, unnnggg, mmmm" when asked about specific choices, such as Sarah Palin.
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August 18, 2008
So it'll be war, Eh?
A totalitarian state has suddenly begun waging war on America, yet we look on in stupid impotence like a junior high-schooler staying up to watch PBS in hopes of catching an old British sitcom that shows nudity.
How long will we let this flagrant provocation go unpunished?
I speak, of course, of Canada's continued aggression against America and her interests.
In Georgia, Canada's lapdog Putin is creating an unjust and false war, hoping to tie up America's formidable military by forcing us to protect one of Europe's last non-Russian energy pipelines. Even now, the provinces of Ossetia, Ashkeniakenzeka (which is probably Georgian for Atlanta), and even Terra are threatened by these jack-booted totalitarians.
The Canadians know that our losses in Europe could never be replaced by the black market for Levi Jeans that a return to totalitarianism in Russia so surely represents. And they want our military tied up so that they can proceed with their own nefarious scheme to influence our election and ruin our nation.
Is it any wonder that a Canadian agent was found preparing to attack Denver with cyanide gas? Only the efforts of Jack Bauer and his team prevented a catastrophe, but it is a sure warning sign that more deviltry is sure to come from the Frozen Kaiser, Steven Harper.
You see, Canada is and always has been jealous of the United States, and this is why they attack us now. They have mountain envy.
Mountain envy is serious. It's the reason that China seized Tibet, after all. Freud said that mountains are a country's penis, and the country with the largest mountain therefore has the largest penis. Otherwise border wars would just be arguments about who gets taxes from the hicks in the hinterlands.
And countries do not go to wars over hicks in the hinterlands.
Canada's Mount Logan may be grand, but it's shorter than Mount McKinley, North America's tallest peak. And Every time Canadians see Mt. McKinley, the US is saying "mine is bigger than yours and that's why women like me more and I get invited to more key parties than you do."
And if there's one thing Canadians can't stand, it's not getting invited to key parties.
So they've been itching for years to get their hands on Mt. McKinley, and now they see their chance. With the US preoccupied with Iraq and Georgia, Canada is free to seize the "breakaway" province of Alaska and take Mt. McKinley and rename it Mt. Thompson, which is the closest thing they have to an assassinated president.
But in typically Canadian fashion, he was poisoned by his father after being made a member of the Privy Council by Queen Victoria. How dorkish. How ridiculous. How Canadian.
Why the Democrats? Because while McCain is totally preoccupied with the nonexistent threat of Al Qaeda, only Barack Obama sees into the soul of our seemingly inoffensive neighbors to the North.
Obama would pull American forces out of Iraq and bring them home, ready to protect us from their bland totalitarianism. And he would further pull out of NAFTA, which does little more than line the frozen pockets of those plutocratic ice-humpers to the north while impoverishing working families here in the US.
They also know that Obama would aid Quebec freedom fighters, who are on the side of liberty and justice. Obama embraces multilingualism, going so far as to encourage children to do better than he has and learn Spanish.
Canadians, meanwhile, reject multilingualism as if it were a turd in a punch bowl, like all English-speaking peoples in the world, because they want to make everyone exactly the same: pasty, bland, and humorless. Why else would all their comedians flee here, if not to escape persecution at the hands of the notorious Canadian death squads?
Somebody set the doomsday clock to 11:59, because Eskimogeddon is almost upon us.
How long will we let this flagrant provocation go unpunished?
I speak, of course, of Canada's continued aggression against America and her interests.
In Georgia, Canada's lapdog Putin is creating an unjust and false war, hoping to tie up America's formidable military by forcing us to protect one of Europe's last non-Russian energy pipelines. Even now, the provinces of Ossetia, Ashkeniakenzeka (which is probably Georgian for Atlanta), and even Terra are threatened by these jack-booted totalitarians.
The Canadians know that our losses in Europe could never be replaced by the black market for Levi Jeans that a return to totalitarianism in Russia so surely represents. And they want our military tied up so that they can proceed with their own nefarious scheme to influence our election and ruin our nation.
Is it any wonder that a Canadian agent was found preparing to attack Denver with cyanide gas? Only the efforts of Jack Bauer and his team prevented a catastrophe, but it is a sure warning sign that more deviltry is sure to come from the Frozen Kaiser, Steven Harper.
You see, Canada is and always has been jealous of the United States, and this is why they attack us now. They have mountain envy.
Mountain envy is serious. It's the reason that China seized Tibet, after all. Freud said that mountains are a country's penis, and the country with the largest mountain therefore has the largest penis. Otherwise border wars would just be arguments about who gets taxes from the hicks in the hinterlands.
And countries do not go to wars over hicks in the hinterlands.
Canada's Mount Logan may be grand, but it's shorter than Mount McKinley, North America's tallest peak. And Every time Canadians see Mt. McKinley, the US is saying "mine is bigger than yours and that's why women like me more and I get invited to more key parties than you do."
And if there's one thing Canadians can't stand, it's not getting invited to key parties.
So they've been itching for years to get their hands on Mt. McKinley, and now they see their chance. With the US preoccupied with Iraq and Georgia, Canada is free to seize the "breakaway" province of Alaska and take Mt. McKinley and rename it Mt. Thompson, which is the closest thing they have to an assassinated president.
But in typically Canadian fashion, he was poisoned by his father after being made a member of the Privy Council by Queen Victoria. How dorkish. How ridiculous. How Canadian.
Why the Democrats? Because while McCain is totally preoccupied with the nonexistent threat of Al Qaeda, only Barack Obama sees into the soul of our seemingly inoffensive neighbors to the North.
Obama would pull American forces out of Iraq and bring them home, ready to protect us from their bland totalitarianism. And he would further pull out of NAFTA, which does little more than line the frozen pockets of those plutocratic ice-humpers to the north while impoverishing working families here in the US.
They also know that Obama would aid Quebec freedom fighters, who are on the side of liberty and justice. Obama embraces multilingualism, going so far as to encourage children to do better than he has and learn Spanish.
Canadians, meanwhile, reject multilingualism as if it were a turd in a punch bowl, like all English-speaking peoples in the world, because they want to make everyone exactly the same: pasty, bland, and humorless. Why else would all their comedians flee here, if not to escape persecution at the hands of the notorious Canadian death squads?
Somebody set the doomsday clock to 11:59, because Eskimogeddon is almost upon us.
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August 17, 2008
The Chronicles of the Obamessiah
Some funneh from the guys at TNOYF,
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August 14, 2008
Total heartache
Seems our old pal and Obama Community Blogger James Jones didn't do so well on his Barack Obama Test. A 13? Damn dude, you scored lower than me! Perhaps this will cheer you up, wherever you are, it combines your two favorite things,
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August 13, 2008
Belgian Crisis Stokes Surrender Fears
EU delegates from all member states held an emergency crisis meeting yesterday in Brussels, hoping to convince the Belgians to immediately resolve the governmental impasse that has roiled the tiny country over the last year. Belgium has not had a stable government in this time, as frictions between Flemings and Walloons continue to prevent any compromise that will lead to political stability.
Now, however, the crisis has reached a breaking point: the EU would like to offer Poland and what used to be Czechoslovakia to a surging Russia, but cannot reach an agreement on this until Belgium has a stable government capable of participating in the capitulation.
"The situation cannot be tolerated," said one EU spokesman. "Belgium must appoint a feeble government as soon as possible so that it can immediately kowtow to the Russians. We cannot continue to dither independently in the face of this dire threat; we must dither as one!"
Analysts warned that Belgium's lack of a government could mean an inadvertent war. "What if they gave a surrender party and nobody showed up?" said one. "Then Poland might get the bright idea to defend its sovereignty and start a war. And I don't think anybody wants that."
Also hanging over the negotiations was the specter of American interference in what is considered "a European affair."
"In the past we have always resolved internal European affairs ourselves," said the German delegate. "Except for only one or two minor instances in the early part of the 20th century. We do not need American cowboys muddying up the waters of international peace."
Now, however, the crisis has reached a breaking point: the EU would like to offer Poland and what used to be Czechoslovakia to a surging Russia, but cannot reach an agreement on this until Belgium has a stable government capable of participating in the capitulation.
"The situation cannot be tolerated," said one EU spokesman. "Belgium must appoint a feeble government as soon as possible so that it can immediately kowtow to the Russians. We cannot continue to dither independently in the face of this dire threat; we must dither as one!"
Analysts warned that Belgium's lack of a government could mean an inadvertent war. "What if they gave a surrender party and nobody showed up?" said one. "Then Poland might get the bright idea to defend its sovereignty and start a war. And I don't think anybody wants that."
Also hanging over the negotiations was the specter of American interference in what is considered "a European affair."
"In the past we have always resolved internal European affairs ourselves," said the German delegate. "Except for only one or two minor instances in the early part of the 20th century. We do not need American cowboys muddying up the waters of international peace."
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August 12, 2008
Obama Changes Hand Signal
Barack Obama today changed his official campaign hand signal, ending a debate that has raged for weeks among senior Team Obama members. The current hand signal, both hands forming the letter "O", will be replaced by a gesture requiring a single hand. The new Obama salute is to make the letter L out of thumb and first finger on the forehead.
"The L stands for Liberal," said a spokesman for Obama. "Liberal isn't a dirty word any longer. Barack said that he saw the gesture made by some students at a college visit to the Campus Democrats, and he liked it so much he's decided to incorporate it. Because we don't just have the courage to change, we have the courage to use a good idea that's already out there."
The old symbol had also come under fire recently for being discriminatory against people who only had one hand. John Hook, a spokesman for the non-profit group Helping Hand, said he was glad to see the old symbol jettisoned. "How are one-handed Americans who support Obama supposed to make the salute to the captain if they have a hook for a hand? They can't, and that's wrong. So I'm glad that it's been sent to Davey Jones' locker where it belongs. If I could just catch those Lost Boys everything would be ship-shape."
The move also ended what had become deafening mockery of the symbol, not only from right-wing pundits but from other celebrated iconoclasts who used heavy symbology in their work.
"I never liked it as a symbol," said Don Diego de la Vega. "It has no flair, no zip. How can you use a simple O to cut off a woman's bodice and reveal her heaving bosoms? You can't. The letter O is in the middle of the alphabet for a reason: it is boring. Now, a scarlet pimpernel, or a gigantic paean to a crippled firefighter brother; those are sheer genius!"
"The L stands for Liberal," said a spokesman for Obama. "Liberal isn't a dirty word any longer. Barack said that he saw the gesture made by some students at a college visit to the Campus Democrats, and he liked it so much he's decided to incorporate it. Because we don't just have the courage to change, we have the courage to use a good idea that's already out there."
The old symbol had also come under fire recently for being discriminatory against people who only had one hand. John Hook, a spokesman for the non-profit group Helping Hand, said he was glad to see the old symbol jettisoned. "How are one-handed Americans who support Obama supposed to make the salute to the captain if they have a hook for a hand? They can't, and that's wrong. So I'm glad that it's been sent to Davey Jones' locker where it belongs. If I could just catch those Lost Boys everything would be ship-shape."
The move also ended what had become deafening mockery of the symbol, not only from right-wing pundits but from other celebrated iconoclasts who used heavy symbology in their work.
"I never liked it as a symbol," said Don Diego de la Vega. "It has no flair, no zip. How can you use a simple O to cut off a woman's bodice and reveal her heaving bosoms? You can't. The letter O is in the middle of the alphabet for a reason: it is boring. Now, a scarlet pimpernel, or a gigantic paean to a crippled firefighter brother; those are sheer genius!"
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BUY ONE TODAY!
MoveOn Books, the publishing arm of MoveOn.Org, is proud to announce the release of strategist and electoral juggernaut Tom Matzzie's first book, How to Win at Politics and Everything Else: Tom Matzzie's Guide to Life.
As a national strategist for MoveOn.Org, Matzzie has been on the inside of its several very public campaigns and was one of the primary architects of what has come to be known as "Grassroots Politics." This approach, created by Matzzie and put into use by campaigns as diverse as Ned Lamont and Ron Paul, has been shaking mainstream candidates since 2000 and forcing them to be more responsive to the desires of true liberals, all of whom support MoveOn.org.
Each Chapter is full of warmth, humor, and insight:
Forget about it already! A categorical list of prosecutorial misdeeds that proves Republicans were simply trying to discredit a popular Democratic president and a plea to simply "Move On" from the interparty fighting of the Clinton Years.
We will never swallow this bitter pill and will fight until the end of our days: why the 2000 election loss is proof that Republicans are evil and why reparations must be demanded and paid before the country can be healed.
The truth about Swift Boats: how a group of crotchety veterans used a non-issue to thwart the will of the people in 2004 with the help of the partisan hacks in the mainstream media.
Rupert Murdoch is the Devil and Fox News His Hellish Spawn: Fifty-three reasons why the Fairness Doctrine needs to be reinstated and PBS should become the only legally-allowed broadcaster of news.
We're Better Off Without Him: How driving Joe Lieberman out of the Democratic Party was a good thing.
Now It's His Problem: Why continued failure to force the Bush administration to capitulate on Iraq is a wise long-term strategy and how it was actually the goal all along.
A New Hope: Barack Obama and the politics of the mended soul.
Don't Tug on Superman's Cape: Why Tom's track record of success will allow him to browbeat Republicans into cowed silence and shut off the money flow to the most wretched hive of scum and villainy in the world today: the GOP.
Order today and receive a free copy of Cindy Sheehan's latest book, I Never Squandered My Absolute Moral Authority, including such piercing insights as "almost every world leader politician today know together we get together, especially better than Bush, including, such as, Hugo Chavez and that bald guy from France or wherever, the one with no chin."
As a national strategist for MoveOn.Org, Matzzie has been on the inside of its several very public campaigns and was one of the primary architects of what has come to be known as "Grassroots Politics." This approach, created by Matzzie and put into use by campaigns as diverse as Ned Lamont and Ron Paul, has been shaking mainstream candidates since 2000 and forcing them to be more responsive to the desires of true liberals, all of whom support MoveOn.org.
Each Chapter is full of warmth, humor, and insight:
Forget about it already! A categorical list of prosecutorial misdeeds that proves Republicans were simply trying to discredit a popular Democratic president and a plea to simply "Move On" from the interparty fighting of the Clinton Years.
We will never swallow this bitter pill and will fight until the end of our days: why the 2000 election loss is proof that Republicans are evil and why reparations must be demanded and paid before the country can be healed.
The truth about Swift Boats: how a group of crotchety veterans used a non-issue to thwart the will of the people in 2004 with the help of the partisan hacks in the mainstream media.
Rupert Murdoch is the Devil and Fox News His Hellish Spawn: Fifty-three reasons why the Fairness Doctrine needs to be reinstated and PBS should become the only legally-allowed broadcaster of news.
We're Better Off Without Him: How driving Joe Lieberman out of the Democratic Party was a good thing.
Now It's His Problem: Why continued failure to force the Bush administration to capitulate on Iraq is a wise long-term strategy and how it was actually the goal all along.
A New Hope: Barack Obama and the politics of the mended soul.
Don't Tug on Superman's Cape: Why Tom's track record of success will allow him to browbeat Republicans into cowed silence and shut off the money flow to the most wretched hive of scum and villainy in the world today: the GOP.
Order today and receive a free copy of Cindy Sheehan's latest book, I Never Squandered My Absolute Moral Authority, including such piercing insights as "almost every world leader politician today know together we get together, especially better than Bush, including, such as, Hugo Chavez and that bald guy from France or wherever, the one with no chin."
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August 11, 2008
Through a Glass Darkly
While others waste their time worrying over an Anthrax Conspiracy that is a bigger hoax than the so-called Moon Landing, a nefarious force is working behind the scenes to decide everything from presidential elections to important issues like NFL games.
Come below the fold for the horrifying details, if you dare.
more...
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I feel great.
And I want 500 babies.
And I want 500 babies.
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August 10, 2008
Weekend Update
I liked Dennis Miller back during his SNL days, but I've really enjoyed his rightward turn over the last few years. Here he is in an interview with Politico, discussing support for McCain in Hollywood:
(h/t)
It’s broader than you think. Listen, John McCain, by putting his name at the other end of a hyphen from Russ Feingold, has at least tried to reach across the aisle. Barack Obama is located nowhere near the end of the aisle — he’s way far out on the left. He makes Bernie Sanders look like Curtis LeMay. So I think this time around, at least, it’s much more easier to come out as a conservative or a moderate or at least pragmatic because otherwise the guy you’d have to vote for has the most liberal voting record in the Senate. And some people aren’t for that right now. He’s a 47-year-old nice enough guy who is reflexively liberal and wants to get Chatty Cathy with bad guys.Like the man says, heh. Indeed. Read the whole thing.
(h/t)
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It's funny because it's true
I've believed for a long time that Jim Treacher is the funniest man on Teh Internets. Check out, for example, his John Edwards jokes. A sample:
Knock knock.The only way I can explain the fact that he isn't getting paid to write gags for teevee or the movies is that he must have a soul.
Who's there?
Rielle.
Rielle who?
You must get all your information from TV and newspapers!
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August 07, 2008
Hey!
You know, I like this idea so much that I had it twelve days ago.
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August 06, 2008
Obama Names Favre VP Candidate
Barack Obama today surprised reporters by announcing that his running mate will be formerly-retired field general Brett Favre. The move was endorsed by the Green Bay Packers, Favre's current employer, who said they felt he could do more good on a national stage instead of trapped in a frozen wasteland.
"I said that I wanted a vice presidential candidate who had military experience, sound judgment, and impeccable character," said Obama. "In Favre, I get a field general that has proven he can win the big one and whose experience will provide a steady hand in my administration. And I also know that Brett won't be afraid to disagree with me, as he's disagreed with coaches and logic so many times in the past to make risky throws on the field. Sometimes even successfully!"
Obama also said that Favre now makes their campaign more competitive. "Favre, with his Mississippi drawl and resemblance to dollar-bill presidents, will help make our campaign more appealing to those voters who so far have resisted the Obama Glamour: buck-toothed hillbillies, gun-toting bible thumpers, and trailer park trash."
Observers hailed the move as “sheer geniusâ€, with Political Analyst Keith Olbermann calling it "daring in the Obamic style that we have all come to marvel at" and Peter King dubbed it his "ultimate wet dream ticket.â€
Not all Democrats were pleased, however. Geraldine Ferraro, former Clinton campaign staffer, complained that "this move just proves that Obama is a misogynistic ageist who ought to borrow Alfalfa's 'Woman Hater's Club' sign to hang out front of INVESCO Field. Their new campaign motto is 'One Penis, One Vote' for all the respect they give women."
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August 05, 2008
Where Jeff Foxworthy and Barack Obama collide
Peter Kirsanow over at The Corner has a list of 25 Obama-themed "You might be a racist if..." jokes. My faves:
Heh. Ill add my own: If you think that most of the jokes he made are pretty tame you...might be a racist.
5. If you think "Vero Possemus" is Latin for "Massive Ego" you... may be a racist.
6. If you wonder why Obama was hanging around William Ayers and Bernadine Dohrn you...may be a racist.
[...]
15. If you think "we are the change we've been waiting for" is a line from a Monty Python skit you...may be a racist.
Heh. Ill add my own: If you think that most of the jokes he made are pretty tame you...might be a racist.
Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at
07:37 PM
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August 04, 2008
McCain campaign starting to campaign a little smarter
Volunteers for the McCain campaign will be handing out tire gauges marked with "Obama's Energy Plan" at an Obama event in Michigan, and to some of the media. See, this little stunt and The One ad are how you do it. Obama is such a self-absorbed sanctimonious twat, his supporters so zealous and humorless, that the answer to them is obviously mockery.
Beyond that, McCain needs something to excite at least a little of the base and activists, and mockery of the Messiah may be it. It obviously isn't going to be Maverick's personality or policy. It may as well be laughing at Our Lord and Savior and the prospect of watching the nutroots completely lose their shit should we of the VRWC, Diebold, Rove, Cheney and the Republicans steal another election. If the McCain campaign keeps this up, I might become convinced he actually wants to win this election. I'm beginning to see some tiny signs of competence, in campaigning anyway.
Beyond that, McCain needs something to excite at least a little of the base and activists, and mockery of the Messiah may be it. It obviously isn't going to be Maverick's personality or policy. It may as well be laughing at Our Lord and Savior and the prospect of watching the nutroots completely lose their shit should we of the VRWC, Diebold, Rove, Cheney and the Republicans steal another election. If the McCain campaign keeps this up, I might become convinced he actually wants to win this election. I'm beginning to see some tiny signs of competence, in campaigning anyway.
Posted by: doubleplusundead at
09:41 AM
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