September 02, 2008

The Ten Commandments of Obama

1)  I am Obama, thy candidate.  Thou shalt have no other candidates before me.
 
2)  Thou shalt not make a campaign button or T-shirt on thy own, but rather buy it from my website or local campaign office.
 
3)  Thou shalt not blaspheme my name, and thou shalt ever profane those who do.
 
4)  Thou shalt accept my platitudes, and keep them holy.
 
5)  Thou shalt honor the actor, the newsman, and the professor, for verily they are my true acolytes and understand my glory better than thou dost.
 
6)  Thou shalt not watch TV ads from my opponents, for they spread naught but lies about me.
 
7)  Thou shalt not Google the words Rezko, nor Born Alive, nor William Ayers, nor Annenberg, nor arugula, nor Bill Clinton, nor Jeremiah Wright, nor Trinity Church, nor…upon second thought, thou shalt not Google at all.  Verily, that shall be best for everyone, particularly me.
 
8)  Thou shalt not steal, except for the biography of Welsh Politicians.
 
9)  Thou shalt pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.
 
10)  Thou shalt justify my actions.

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