'TWAS the night before Healthcare, and all through the land,
Not a pundit was stirring, not woman nor man.
The congress assembled, a charge filled the air,
For they knew that ST. BARRY soon would be there!
 
The anchors were nestled, all snug in their seats,
Their legs all a-tingle, their nails in their teeth.
And though ma and I'd not worked in ten months or more,
We'd just settled down to watch President Bore.
 
When out in the alley, there rose such a clatter,
I sprang from my seat to see what was the matter.
The fumes from the garbage there poked at my eyes
(A trash strike still raged - they had mighty allies)
 
The CF-bulbed street lamp let off a wan light,
And my heart filled with dread; for thieves prowled the night.
When suddenly 'twixt garbage piles I heard a crash,
And spotted a clunker thought long swapped for cash.
 
With a big-eared chain smoker, so sharp-eyed and grim,
I knew in a moment it was certainly HIM!
His chariot wobbled, its haulers intense,
They dragged him on slowly as he spewed nonsense.
 
"Now, Parker!  Now, Frum!  Now, Matthews and Buckley!
On Couric and Marx, on, Olby and Huxley!"
Steady and even, they judged his demeanor,
Though he whipped and cursed them and called them all "Weiner!"
 
As star-stuck young groupies, who put out for roadies,
They slavered and giggled, these eight loathsome toadies.
So up next to the house they came through the trash,
And into my fence row their clunker they crashed.
 
Then next with a crack and a boom and a smash,
The wall opened up, he was in like a flash.
I jumped back in fear and let expletives fly,
And in stepped Saint Barry, one heck of a guy!
 
He was dressed all in red, in a Guevara T-Shirt,
His Oxfords were shined well with spittle (no dirt!).
He gave out entitlements (vote-buying some call it),
And I'm almost certain he stole from my wallet.
 
His eyes-oh how steely!  My anger, I fought it.
I knew if I vented, then surely they'd audit.
My elderly neighbor had once spoken out,
And now he was ruined, the foolish old lout.
 
The butt of a cigarette he held in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
The glint of a rifle-scope somewhere outside,
Let me know his patience was not to be tried.
 
I did (I admit) ask him to desist,
But I soon demurred amidst cries of "Racist!"
Then he started to blather, and spoke of his work,
He made sure that I knew Sarah Palin's a jerk.
 
He spoke and he spoke, and then he spoke some more,
Both ma and I found him a terrible bore.
He spoke 'till I fell asleep on my feet,
And then spoke some more, the boring old creep.
 
Yelling "HOPE" and then "CHANGE" he jumped to his car,
And whipping his team turned it back towards the stars.
But I heard him exclaim, as they lurched out of sight,
"Health care mandates for all, and to all a tax hike!"

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