August 19, 2008

Survey Reveals Internet Conservative's VP Wish List

A recent poll of the right-wing blogosphere reveals the following "Wish List" of qualities for a potential GOP vice-presidential running mate for John McCain:
 
81% said "Needs to know how to handle a gun."
 
75% said "Nominee should look good in assless chaps, and preferably owns a pair, and very preferably will wear them to the convention."
 
72% said "Must shore up McCain's conservative credentials, in reality and not as compared to the Democratic party or your average journalist."
 
65% said "Was not ever the Democratic nominee for anything, particularly president or vice president."
 
54% said "Must have executive experience, particularly in a state where large areas rarely register above zero and are currently off-limits to oil and gas drilling."
 
49% said "Must not be a desiccated fossil."
 
46% said "Is not Phil Gramm or other McCain cohort famous for 'crossing the aisle' and screwing the GOP on legislation."
 
43% said "Should be solidly pro-life, as evidenced by wearing tight sweaters which will make us glad to be alive."
 
42% said "Should not be a flaming moron."
 
31% said "Shouldn't be a GOP up-and-comer who will be forever tainted by the stink of failure that this election will inevitably bestow upon the loser, which is likely McCain."
 
27% said "Should have a name that rhymes with Fairy Sailin."
 
12% said "Should be distinguishable from Lamar Alexander, most importantly by not being Lamar Alexander."
 
4% said "Should adequately fill lead role in our recurring 'Naughty Librarian Fantasy'."
 
0.5% (Ace of Spades) said "Hnnggh, unnnggg, mmmm" when asked about specific choices, such as Sarah Palin.

Posted by: plebian at 04:02 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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