A spokesman for the Nobel Prize Committee today told reporters that the Swedish commission had requested Al Gore to return his 2007 Peace Prize, as well as the million-dollar award that goes with it, since "he's apparently the biggest liar since Joe Isuzu."
 
"We regretfully admit that we, too, were taken in by this Tennessee huckster's slick talk and fancy slide show," the spokesman said.  "But after a ferocious winter that has forced people the world over to navigate streets choked with hobo-cicles and led to new heights of Arctic Ice, we have no choice but to demand the return of the prize and the money."
 
Mr. Gore was not immediately available for comment because he was using hundred-dollar bills to light one of his forty gas stoves inside his palatial 62,000 square-foot floating mansion.
 
The Nobel Committee did say that they had selected a new winner for the 2007 peace prize, NASA's top scientist James Hansen, who has recently begun sounding the alarm about global cooling.  "Dr. Hansen's work is of critical importance in these dangerous times, and his dedication to good science and rigorous standards are above reproach."
 
Speaking from Washington, where the fiercely apolitical Dr. Hansen was to attend the upcoming inauguration, the scientist said he was pleased to accept the award and the money.  "I just hope that we can see the error of our ways and begin massive restructuring of the economy, as detailed in my book, Frozen Dinner: How You Will Die in the Polar Bear Holocaust that is Sure to Come.  It's time to stop listening to alarmists like Gore and begin to listen to scientists who are peddling rational panic."

Hide Comments | Add Comment