One of the leading Conservative intellectuals and a father of the conservative movement has declared that he is quitting the party, following the latest revelation involving Vice-Presidential candidate Sarah Palin.  
 
Andrew Sullivan, whose popular conservative online column The Daily Dish has guided the conservative movement for almost a decade, has had another of his trademark changes of heart.
 
Sullivan explained his reasoning as follows (link not available due to DPUD posting guidelines):
 
"I have discovered that Sarah Palin is actually a man; specifically, she is Karl Rove's brother who had a sex change in 1980.  This entire façade is a lie designed by Christianists to justify plunging the world into chaos in hopes that it will spur the arrival of their messiah, I have come to understand."
 
"Furthermore, since she's a man, those children aren't hers.  So whose are they?  I think we can safely assume that they were kidnapped, which means that, like I said earlier, the Palin family is like the Manson family, only even more dangerous to Hollywood.  They must be stopped before their drooling cultist fringe wackos can infiltrate society even more than they already have!"
 
Sullivan also said that he believed McCain knew exactly what he was signing on for when he drafted Palin.
 
"McCain's an old man, and old men are notoriously lecherous, and McCain's realized that he never experimented enough, so he's up for a woman who used to be a man.  It's as close to human contact as McCain will get, since his wife is actually a prototype Japanese sex robot controlled by the Rand Corporation.  Have I mentioned that, actuarially speaking, McCain is far more likely to die at any moment than, say, a mid-forties African American smoker?"
 
This time, though, Sullivan provided corroborating evidence for his theories:
 
"I received this alert from a concerned reader which finally helped me to understand the true nature of the she-devil that has taken over the Republican Party and who threatens to destroy all life as we know it on this planet as part of her mad, Christianist plot.  I print it here with the concerned consent of its author:
 
dear andrew:  i have always been a fan u should go read my blog post at trollbooger.com about Sarah Palin u will find it interesting i promise u big hearts, Peter Platt."
 
Sullivan ended by noting that:
 
"It's clear after spending a day with the Zionist warmongers AIPAC and her close proximity to known Zionists like Joe Lieberman Sarah Palin cannot be trusted.  Only Barack Obama, a man untainted by any sin or scandal, can possibly be considered pristine enough to wear the mantle that is currently sullied by our torturer-in-chief, may he soon rot in jail."
 
"God.  Help.  Us.  All.  Not that I believe in God or anything."

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