I know this is a credible source.

My fellow Americans, today is a bitter, gun-clinging day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "bovine excrement", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually flush.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces easy and sleazy challenges like never before. Our economy is hopeless. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for inaugural balls. Our healthcare system is superior. If your hairy wart is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a trial lawyer. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a flask of Val-U-Rite Vodka. But telling lies together we can right this ship, and set a course for jail.

Finally, I must thank my "finally proud" family, my cheating campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank Tony Rezko for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of protecting the American people. Without your patriotic efforts, none of this would have been possible.

Posted by: conservativebelle at 01:39 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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