September 09, 2008
ALERT: Memo Reveals Palin's Unreadiness
Winterneck: Thank you for coming down, Miss Heath.
Palin: Thank you for interviewing me.
Winterneck: Have we met before? I think I recognize you.
Palin: Well, I have been very involved in the community for years, organizing fundraisers and drives and other beneficial activities.
Winterneck: Why do you want this job?
Palin: All my life, I have dreamed of being a feed shop attendant. There is no higher calling, no greater occupation, than helping out man and animal in one fell swoop.
Winterneck: That's interesting. What do you see yourself doing in ten years?
Palin: This is my life's dream: to work in a feed store. I see myself here, fighting for the better health and well-being of animals by helping responsible owners choose the proper food and equipment. I have no interest in the corporate world of investment banking or high-profile attorneying.
Winterneck: Mmm-hmm. Have you ever worked with animals before?
Palin: Why do you ask? Are you sexist?
Winterneck: What? No, I only ask to find out your experience.
Palin: I'm very experienced.
Winterneck: Okay, what experience do you have?
Palin: I typed up that resume that you have, I came over here this morning, and I've been interviewing for this job for five minutes. I am a very experienced candidate.
Winterneck: But interviewing doesn't count as experience, does it?
Palin: Of course it does! Unless you're a sexist pig. You're not a sexist pig, are you?
Winterneck: Uh, well, uh…
Palin: You either give me the job or everyone knows that you're a sexist pig who harassed me. On the plus side, I have a friend who owns some property that he'll sell you at discount rate.
Winterneck: Wait a minute, I know you! You go to that crazy church!
Palin: Which church?
Winterneck: The Church of the Holy Secession. Those guys are nuts!
Palin: Now, it is true that I have gone there for ten years, but they never said a word about secession while I was in attendance.
Winterneck: They just arrested a bunch of people over there for trying to bomb an orphanage!
Palin: I am very upset to hear that. It is not the church I knew.
Winterneck: I appreciate your time, but I just don't think that you're a good fit here.
Palin: Well, that's too bad for you, because my associates have bullied and intimidated every other candidate from applying for the job. It's me or it's nobody.
Winterneck: Well, then, I guess you're hired.
Palin: Thanks. By the way, do you know where I can rent a fat suit? I'm going to be needing one for the next few years to cover up my child smuggling operation.
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Drudge has frontpaged and bolded an upcoming NYT story that threatens to derail the McCain campaign and force Sarah Palin off of the national ticket. The story is the fruit of an intensive research campaign over the past week in Alaska to determine every detail about Palin, and the allegations come via the transcript of an interview with Harvey Winterneck's Feed Store, which gave a sixteen-year-old Palin her first job.
Winterneck, like many Alaskans, was a paranoid isolationist who recorded every transaction in his store for fear of future prosecution by the Government. The typed document was passed along to reporters by his former secretary, who found it in some paperwork she was cleaning out of the garage. Winterneck died in 1982 under mysterious circumstances while moose hunting.
To protect her privacy, the secretary has declined to be named or interviewed.
I've copied the explosive transcript below the fold in its original typeface:
Winterneck, like many Alaskans, was a paranoid isolationist who recorded every transaction in his store for fear of future prosecution by the Government. The typed document was passed along to reporters by his former secretary, who found it in some paperwork she was cleaning out of the garage. Winterneck died in 1982 under mysterious circumstances while moose hunting.
To protect her privacy, the secretary has declined to be named or interviewed.
I've copied the explosive transcript below the fold in its original typeface:
Palin: Thank you for interviewing me.
Winterneck: Have we met before? I think I recognize you.
Palin: Well, I have been very involved in the community for years, organizing fundraisers and drives and other beneficial activities.
Winterneck: Why do you want this job?
Palin: All my life, I have dreamed of being a feed shop attendant. There is no higher calling, no greater occupation, than helping out man and animal in one fell swoop.
Winterneck: That's interesting. What do you see yourself doing in ten years?
Palin: This is my life's dream: to work in a feed store. I see myself here, fighting for the better health and well-being of animals by helping responsible owners choose the proper food and equipment. I have no interest in the corporate world of investment banking or high-profile attorneying.
Winterneck: Mmm-hmm. Have you ever worked with animals before?
Palin: Why do you ask? Are you sexist?
Winterneck: What? No, I only ask to find out your experience.
Palin: I'm very experienced.
Winterneck: Okay, what experience do you have?
Palin: I typed up that resume that you have, I came over here this morning, and I've been interviewing for this job for five minutes. I am a very experienced candidate.
Winterneck: But interviewing doesn't count as experience, does it?
Palin: Of course it does! Unless you're a sexist pig. You're not a sexist pig, are you?
Winterneck: Uh, well, uh…
Palin: You either give me the job or everyone knows that you're a sexist pig who harassed me. On the plus side, I have a friend who owns some property that he'll sell you at discount rate.
Winterneck: Wait a minute, I know you! You go to that crazy church!
Palin: Which church?
Winterneck: The Church of the Holy Secession. Those guys are nuts!
Palin: Now, it is true that I have gone there for ten years, but they never said a word about secession while I was in attendance.
Winterneck: They just arrested a bunch of people over there for trying to bomb an orphanage!
Palin: I am very upset to hear that. It is not the church I knew.
Winterneck: I appreciate your time, but I just don't think that you're a good fit here.
Palin: Well, that's too bad for you, because my associates have bullied and intimidated every other candidate from applying for the job. It's me or it's nobody.
Winterneck: Well, then, I guess you're hired.
Palin: Thanks. By the way, do you know where I can rent a fat suit? I'm going to be needing one for the next few years to cover up my child smuggling operation.
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