July 11, 2008
You get home from a hard day at work, fill your Hulk Hogan shampoo bottle with Val-U-Rite vodka and park your ass on the couch. Another shitty day is over.
A Russian woman in St Petersburg killed her drunk husband with a folding couch, Russian media reported on Wednesday.
St Petersburg's Channel Five said the man's wife, upset with her husband for being drunk and refusing to get up, kicked a handle after an argument, activating a mechanism that folds the couch up against a wall.
The couch, which doubles as a bed, folds up automatically in order to save space. The man fell between the mattress and the back of the couch, Channel Five quoted emergency workers as saying.
The woman then walked out of the room and returned three hours later to check on what she thought was an unusually quiet sleeping husband.
Police refused to comment.
Probably because they were laughing too hard.
Anyway, consider this a public service announcement to the Moronosphere:
Automatic furniture of any kind is the enemy of a Moron. Whether it be an electric wheel chair or an ordinary automatic, wall-mounted folding couch (?) a Moron should stay as far away as possible. This man lost his life learning that lesson.
Rest in peace, Moron.
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