February 10, 2009

From The "Please Shut The Fuck Up" Files, Australia Edition

Nice to see that hateful preachers (Fred Phelps, Jeremiah Wright, etc.)aren't just the rage in America.

The Catch the Fire Ministries has tried to blame the bushfires disaster on laws decriminalising abortion in Victoria.

The Pentecostal church's leader, Pastor Danny Nalliah, claimed he had a dream about raging fires on October 21 last year and that he woke with "a flash from the Spirit of God: that His conditional protection has been removed from the nation of Australia, in particular Victoria, for approving the slaughter of innocent children in the womb".

 

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February 09, 2009

Moron of the Day: Andy Dick (again)

"Zany," "unpredictable", "comedian" Andy Dick admits a shocking detail about his life:

Seven months after his arrest for assault, public intoxication and drug possession, Andy Dick says he's learned his lesson.

"When I drink I turn into a moron," the comedian, 43, tells Entertainment Tonight. "I think I'm being funny and clever, but I look back on the video tape and I border on retardation."

There are literally hundreds of jokes in that short exerpt.  One doesn't know where to start. 

Other Things That Turn Andy Dick Into A Moron

  1. Breathing.
  2. Eating.
  3. Cocaine.
  4. Cocaine.
  5. Cocaine.
  6. Having Mass.
  7. Sexual Confusion.
  8. Eating Cocaine.

I also wanted to state that the last thing he said there also applies to his entire career.  The sad thing is, somebody must have thought he was being 'funny and clever' enough to keep giving him work.

Where's Jon Lovitz when you need him?

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