January 26, 2009

Just Remember This The Next Time You Want To Get Drunk And Molest A Raccoon

Bad things are bound to happen.

Alexander Kirilov, 44, was on a drunken weekend with pals when he leapt on the terrified – but toothy – fur ball.

“When I saw the raccoon I thought I’d have some fun,” he told stunned casualty surgeons in Moscow.

Now Russian plastic surgeons are trying to restore his mangled manhood.

“He’s been told they can get things working again but they can’t sew back on what the raccoon bit off," said a pal.

Yep. Sounds like a good time to me.

Posted by: eddiebear at 12:41 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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January 06, 2009

Moron of the Day: Moron of the Year 2008

Well, I've let the voting continue well into the new year and it was a close one. 

A mere vote separates first, second and third place but the man with the hammer in his ass has taken first prize. 

Thanks for voting and hopefully we can provide a lot more Morons to pick from in the coming year.

Here's a nice one to ring in the New Year:

Police say an angry 4-year-old Ohio boy grabbed a gun from a closet and shot his baby sitter. Nathan Beavers, 18, was hospitalized Sunday with minor wounds to his arm and side after the shotgun attack. Police say another teen was also injured.

Witnesses told police the child was angry because Beavers accidentally stepped on his foot.

Not to be bigoted against large swaths of the Moron population but this may be relevant:

Beavers was watching the child at a mobile home in Jackson with several other teenagers and several other children.

Sounds like the Spuckler family from the Simpsons.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 10:07 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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