December 27, 2009

Upstanding beacon of truth falsely incriminated by the Chimpy McHitlerburton VRWC

Our favorite troofer, Charlie Sheen, was locked up this Christmas in an attempt to silence him by George Dubya and the rest of the reich-wing Rethuglickans, including his wife.  You'd think that someone observant enough to realize that fire doesn't melt steel would realize that his evil spouse, mother of his evil twin babies, was in reality a double agent.  His wife obviously wasn't the victim here, nor was Kelly Preston.

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December 23, 2009

Moron of the Day: Hell, maybe the year.

So, your neighbor won't turn down his music.  Ever.  24 hours a day.  For more than a week.

And that music is Robbie Williams.

What would you do?

A 45-year-old man has been jailed for 16 years for killing his neighbour after he played the same Robbie Williams song at full volume non-stop for more than a week. Alexander Alexandrov snapped after he'd heard Angels more than a thousand times through the wall of his apartment in Pernik, Bulgaria. He was caught when his car ran out of petrol as he tried to dump his throttled 27-year-old victim Martin Kromov's body, the court heard.

I lol'd.  Yes, I most certainly did. 

Let's hear from the murderer:
"I was in constant terror of his music. I could no longer think about anything but making him turn it off," said desperate Alexandrov, who intends to appeal his sentence.

Sounds like a case of justifiable homicide to me.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 02:30 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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December 09, 2009

Moron of hte Day: This Exploding Gum Is Hilarious!

I can't wait to see his ... OH THE HORROR!

A chemistry student in the Ukraine was found dead with his jaw blown off by what is believed to be exploding chewing gum, according to reports.

The 25-year-old's disfigured remains were discovered at his parent's home in the northern Ukrainian city of Konotop, reports in the Eastern European country said.

The young man, who studied at Kiev Polytechnic Institute, was working at a computer late on Saturday when the alleged explosion happened.

"A loud pop was heard from the student's room," the ukranews.com Web site said, citing an aide to the city's police chief.

"When his relatives entered the room, they saw that the lower part of the young man's face had been blown off."

Well, how the hell could that happen?

The student apparently had a bizarre habit of chewing gum after dipping it into citric acid, Russian news agency Ria Novosti said.

Officers found both citric acid packets and a similar-looking unidentified substance, believed to be some kind of explosive material, on a table near the body, the agency continued.

Investigators suspect that the student simply confused the packets and put gum covered with explosive material into his mouth.

Moron.

Once again, I'm left wondering what percentage of stories that come out of Russia are true. 50%?  60%?

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December 04, 2009

Huckabee II

Joseph Cao may have an R after his name, but that's pretty much the only Republican thing about him. (NY Times link, but that's the source of the interview. Sorry.)

Did you support the bill to curry favor with your constituents? You represent a mostly black district that is among the poorest in the nation.
This is a personal position of mine. I do believe that we need health care reform. I do believe that we as a government have a duty to help those who are in need but who cannot help themselves.

So you’re saying you voted out of personal conviction, not politics?
Correct. I spent six years in the Society of Jesus, training to be a priest. I always adhere to what I call “the politics of the Gospel.” You have to take care of the poor, take care of the widows, visit the sick, help those who cannot help themselves.

Why did you become a Republican?
Because of their strong pro-life stance. That alone.
Joseph Cao was being touted as a great example of minorities being embraced by the GOP by Cynthia Lummis (R-WY) in a speech at the RNC Women's Summit last month.  This is the same gal who compared Ryan Frazier, a Navy vet who has successfully run a business, has a long history of volunteer service, and has been a successful city council member, with Obambi, because "when you close your eyes you can hear Barack Obama!!!1!!eleventyone!!"  Someone in Lummis's office needs to edumacate her about skin color and why we support the people we support.  Joseph Cao needs to be primaried out (although in Louisiana I doubt that will happen). 

Let's have some rampant speculation on what's going to happen in that seat next cycle. Given that the choice was between Cao and Cold Cash Jefferson, it's unsurprising that the RINO won - so what will we get next year?

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