Former Food Network host arrested for murder-for-hire plot

He tried to hire a bunch of hobos to kill a dude, or something, bail is $5 million, so this had to have been pretty serious shit.  Hobos reported him to police and they worked with police to catch the guy.  No, it's not Mario Batali, you can relax, it was some dude who had one of those early morning weekend crap shows no one watched.  Pretty much by early 2009 I'd quit watching TV entirely, but I still recognized the name of the guy's show, and LOLd.  IIRC, the dude was sort of a mincing wuss, probably didn't have it in him to do the deed himself.  Clearly not a follower of the Ace of Spades Lifestyle, as every Moron knows, hobos are to be hunted, not made into the hunter.

I noticed this till I ditched TV (and I don't miss it, seriously, commit to turning it off for three weeks, guarantee there's a 50% shot you end up canceling your cable/sat), but Food Network is the perfect "background noise" channel, except when Rachel Ray or that semi-homemade whatever was on.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 11:44 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Too many jokes to choose from ...

Japan is known for its unique fashion.  Well, at least, I know Japan for that.  Apparently, though, there is one thing that even the Japanese can't forgive - a ridiculous checkered shirt that appears to be from 1987.  (Seriously, click on the link; the picture of this shirt is fucking awesome.  Awesome in a Megashark-vs.-Giant-Octopus kind of way, not in a someone-just-invented-the-teleporter-and-you-can-actually-afford-one kind of way.)

Japan's Prime Minister Yukio Hatoyama has been seeing his poll ratings tumble amid criticism of his leadership - and his fashion sense.

Reporters pounced on a checked shirt he wore to meet members of the public at a barbecue at his official residence.

With one sleeve yellow, the other blue, a red front, purple back and green cuffs, it was certainly eye-catching.

Fashion designer Don Konishi wrote in a national magazine: "Is anyone able to stop him wearing such a thing?"

And you thought Michelle Obama's boob belts were bad.  Hah.

Posted by: Ember at 10:57 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Ten Bucks says this is tomorrow's BBF

BBF, for the uninitiated, is Big Boob Friday.  Big Boob Friday is a regular feature over at The Hostages, where Rosetta (America's Favorite Man-Lesbian) posts pictures of a (usually) Eastern European woman with gigantic breasts, then wiserbud makes fun of Rosetta and his featured BBF.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 09:02 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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Sometimes I wonder what the hell is the matter with people

A five year old kid who lost his leg in an accident has been bullied repeatedly on his school bus, culminating in an attempt to steal his artificial leg and a black eye from a 13 year old 6' 150 lb teenager.  The father goes to the parents and they refuse to do anything, so he goes to the school district. 

Any guesses on how they dealt with the situation?  (Answer below the fold)
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Posted by: chad98036 at 04:11 PM | Comments (14) | Add Comment
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Remember when Obama was the technocrat President?

Praised for his understanding of technology at it's implications. He even had a Blackberry that he insisted be hooked into the the White House network despite the security concerns.

How does this get explained then?

"You're coming of age in a 24/7 media environment that bombards us with all kinds of content and exposes us to all kinds of arguments, some of which don't always rank all that high on the truth meter," Obama said at Hampton University, Virginia.

"With iPods and iPads and Xboxes and PlayStations, -- none of which I know how to work -- information becomes a distraction, a diversion, a form of entertainment, rather than a tool of empowerment, rather than the means of emancipation," Obama said.

He can't operate the 4 simplest technological devices known to man? Even that buffoon* George W. Bush can operate an iPod. I know this because the media went to great lengths a number of times to ridicule his playlist. If he can operate one and Obama can't what does that say about the intellectual quality of the man chosen to lead the US thru these harrowing times?

*that was snark in case anyone is on the verge of getting offended.

Posted by: chad98036 at 12:26 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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Phillies fan tasered on the field

I maintain my position that Philly fans are the lowest of the low, and any abuse or beatdowns administered to them are warranted. 

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 08:08 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Another perfectly good cherished childhood memory crushed

When I was a kid my three favorite comic books were

1. Spiderman
2. X-Men
3. Jonah Hex

The first two had already been destroyed but now it appears Jonah Hex will join the list. At least if this trailer is any indication;

Is it really so difficult to stay in canon and go with the perfectly good Jonah Hex stories from the comics? Is that too freaking much to ask?

Posted by: chad98036 at 08:32 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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Crushing of Dissent

Gizmodo buys an iPhone some guy found.

Editor gets his house raided.

Now, I guess one could argue that it was on suspicion of possession of stolen property?  But if you read the whole story as presented by Gizmodo (clearly biased and pretty much douchebags most of the time) it seems they made attempts to return it as did the first guy. 

So, law-talking peeps.  What's the haps? 

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 09:23 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Ann Althouse Doesn't Like Draw Mohammed Day

It might offend someone.

Well, let me tell you why I don't care.  Every time something like this happens, the publishing organization hears threats (Comedy Central in this case) but where is the wave of moderate muslims expressing their belief that hey, its okay.  Freedom of speech is important and we, like every other religion, have a sense of humor.

Crickets.

So, how about this?  We'll call off Draw Mohammed Day if we hear one, just ONE, major American Islamic organization express their support for South Park's right to free speech.

Otherwise, fuck them.  I hope the kinds of people that would be offended by Draw Mohammed day ARE offended. 

After all, nobody has a right not to be offended and we're not exactly doing this to make friends.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 09:08 AM | Comments (43) | Add Comment
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Someone is a little off message

Protesters greet Sarah Palin with mixed messages:



h/t Huckleberries Online

Posted by: chad98036 at 12:13 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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In which I admit I don't know what to do

This is an utterly depressing article about the state of Africa today.  I'll admit it, I try not to think about what's going on in much of Africa because it's far too depressing.  Prof. Reynolds linked to this and commented that this is the state of nature.  This is what civilization is designed to combat. 

I'm trying to hunt down the link, but I recently read that there are now more human beings in slavery then there were at the height of what we consider the slave trade.  That's so horrifying that my mind simply stops.  It's as if those words make sense individually but not in a row.  It's 2010.  How can there still be slavery?  Oh, I understand intellectually that mankind is fallen and is innately corrupt.  Reading about human trafficking and war by rape and the Eastern European sex slavery rings and all the rest is just too much.

Do I have a solution?  No.  No, I don't know what to do.  I can't even begin to wrap my mind around where to start.  There are portions of Africa where the most basic elements of society, such as not beating to death newborn babies, must be rebuilt. 

The one thing I do know?  I will hit my knees tonight and thank God with every fiber of my being that I was born in America.  It is a blessing beyond compare. 

Posted by: alexthechick at 12:44 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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Disgraceful

I almost forgot, Comedy Central censored the hell out of last night's South Park Episode going so far as to censor even the use of the word Mohammad.  Of course, images of Bhudda snorting cocaine and Jesus making cum jokes was totally cool by them.

Fucking spineless, douchetools.  I don't know why Trey and Matt don't tell them to get throat-fucked by a horse and go independent.  I'm sure they have enough money and the internet would provide more than enough exposure. 

They finally have the creative freedom not allowed by that bunch of ball-gagged extremist rape-slaves.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 11:08 AM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
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Beyond parody

The "refs" decided what was legit and not legit in an election campaign with a completely unknown candidate with a long record of crazy, obvious odd lies. The press acted as a guardian of those in power, not as a fearless skeptic. That's what worries me. If they did it once, they'll do it again.

—Andrew Sullivan writing in The Atlantic, NOT referring to Barack Hussein Obama.

Yeah.

Posted by: Sean M. at 04:35 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Protip: If Philly fans are annoying you or being obnoxious

...don't say anything, just leave.  Philly fans are the lowest form of life on the planet, and it just isn't going to go well for you unless you have a beltfed, a couple thousand rounds and a buddy to swap out barrels. 

Seriously, this sick fuck shoved his fingers down his throat and puked on a on off-duty police officer and his family because the cop had the audacity to ask him and his buddies not to curse in front of his family, then Pukeface McDickhead punched the cop a few times as security approached.  Pukeface did that because the off-duty cop reported him and his buddies to an usher after they spit on his daughter and continued to curse in front of his family.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 10:00 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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Retroactive abortions are not OK

I wasn't going to blog on this, really I wasn't. But the sheer callousness of Torry Hansen's actions, and the fact that some loons are actually defending that this not-mother put her adopted child on a plane alone to a country where he is no longer a citizen with a note saying he's unwanted, has my head spinning around like a pre-teen Linda Blair.

I'm willing to give Torry Hansen some benefit of the doubt at this point.  Maybe the adoption agency did tell her she was hitting the jackpot in adopting a kid who made it to the age of seven institutionalized with no emotional or mental problems, and no one had chosen to adopt him just because he was unlucky.  Maybe the fresh scars on the kid have nothing to do with faux-parent abuse - heck, it's a rare week when neither of my kids have multiple scrapes and bruises, and maybe she didn't really tell the kid that he was going on vacation when she shipped him back to Russia.  Maybe the kid really did try to set the house on fire - really, out of all the stuff being tossed around, I think this is most likely true.  Maybe the adoption agency really didn't try to keep in touch with Torry Hansen.  It's conceivable that lots of things are being twisted to paint Torry Hansen in the worst possible light.

But still...
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Posted by: Alice H at 11:46 AM | Comments (16) | Add Comment
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Another reason to hate Jenny McCarthy

I guess "I'll continue to be the voice [of autism]" means shutting down the school for autistic kids you've been funding.

Posted by: Alice H at 07:04 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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This is not Scrabble, dammit!

We're one step away from laying down LOLcatspeak for a triple word score.

What caused about 10,000 near-heart attacks from London to El Segundo, Calif., began a few days ago with a tiny item in a British trade paper. It referred to Mattel's plans to introduce a new kind of Scrabble that would permit the use of proper nouns.

Posted by: Alice H at 10:01 AM | Comments (67) | Add Comment
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The Anti-Moron Initiative

Did you guys see the thing in the sidebar at Moron Central about the neo-prohibitionist assholes here in California who want to hike the excise taxes on wine, beer, and spirits to ridiculous levels? Thankfully, I doubt they'll even get the nearly 435,000 signatures needed to put this piece of shit on the ballot, but even if they did, I can't see it passing. Imagine the money that  the California wine industry alone would pour (no pun intended) into killing it.

But, let's say it did pass somehow. Can you imagine the GINORMOUS Costco-style liquor stores that would spring up overnight just across the borders of Arizona, Nevada, and Oregon? People would be renting U-Hauls and filling them with booze to drag back to this hellhole. Oh, and to say that the black market would do a brisk business would be a huge understatement.

Yeah, this has the stink of FAIL all over it.

Posted by: Sean M. at 08:33 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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The Left has officially lost their minds.

The newest lefty meme is that Sean Hannity has finally let the mask slip. He called out all those racist teabaggers out as "Tim McVeigh wannabes" and, horror of horrors, they laughed at that characterization.



Since, as we all know, the Right has no sense of humor, they were obviously proud of this comparison, and quickly went out to bomb federal buildings. 

It's like January 20, 2001 to January 20, 2009 never happened. 

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 01:32 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Get Hynkel

Updated below.
Via Weasel Zippers we find out that CJ sees this flag


and says, "I'm fairly sure this is a neo-Nazi flag, but I can't find the exact logo yet."
I found it for him. It's the flag of that fascist nation, Tomania.


How do you say "Tool" in Tomanese?
I know how to say it in English, it's spelled "Charles Johnson".
Update
Eric at Classical Values finds some pretty compelling evidence that the Tennessee flag is related to fascism, via Pennsylvania Nazis.
It's interesting reading and he has one of my favorite graphics near the top.

Posted by: Veeshir at 08:45 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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