It's true, I just paid to see G.I. Joe in the theater.

It truly is a movie for "an Obama world": horrible, and often unintentionally funny. 

(There were good parts, though.)

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 09:40 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Greatest Healthcare System In The World

Michael Moore said so.  Too bad it seems wards of that police state won't be able to wipe their asses in a few weeks:

Cuba, in the grip of a serious economic crisis, is running short of toilet paper and may not get sufficient supplies until the end of the year, officials with state-run companies said on Friday.

Officials said they were lowering the prices of 24 basic goods to help Cubans get through the difficulties provoked in part by the global financial crisis and three destructive hurricanes that struck the island last year.

Cuba's financial reserves have been depleted by increased spending for imports and reduced export income, which has forced the communist-led government to take extraordinary measures to keep the economy afloat.

"The corporation has taken all the steps so that at the end of the year there will be an important importation of toilet paper," an official with state conglomerate Cimex said on state-run Radio Rebelde.

Man, these command economies sound AWESOME.  Where do I sign my shitty ass up?

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 07:36 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Do Not - I say again - Do Not! See GI Joe!!

OK it has it's pluses.  Sienna Miller and Rachel Nichols mainly but some of the CGI is ok too.  That's it.

Minuses -

1.  The story line is stupid.  I mean yeah it's based off a comic book but it's even beyond comic book stupid.

2.  The acting is horrible.  Make my eyes bleed horrible.  Make my anus bleed horrible.  Let me replicate it in writing for you.

"Ha Ha stupid Joes we have stolen the super weapons"

in a flat monotone voice "Oh....  No.... They have stolen the super weapons. We... must... stop... them."

another GI Joe also completely lacking in inflection "Yes... we... must.  but how."

imagine that for 118 painful minutes.  

3.  The American military is painted as a bunch of incompetents.  Tactics apparently consist of hollering a lot and standing around waiting to be killed. Plus, apparently the way to clear a building is to send in an unarmed doctor (a key plot point by the way) and tell him he has 4 minutes because you have already called in an airstrike and it will be there in 5 minutes.

3a.  The costume people don't even care enough to get uniforms correct.  One of the characters is repeatedly referred to as Captain but he is wearing Majors insignia.  Another is also referred to as Captain and is wearing Master Sergeant stripes.  

4.  Not enough Sienna Miller and Rachel Nichols.

Overall I give it a 1 out of 5.

Posted by: chad98036 at 07:46 PM | Comments (18) | Add Comment
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Just In Case You Missed It

The Senator presiding over the Sotomayor vote? 

Al Fucking Franken.

Our enduring national nightmare continues.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 11:59 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Boy am I glad we are following the British and Canadian lead on health care

The Telegraph - Patients forced to live in agony after NHS refuses to pay for painkilling injections -

The Government's drug rationing watchdog says "therapeutic" injections of steroids, such as cortisone, which are used to reduce inflammation, should no longer be offered to patients suffering from persistent lower back pain when the cause is not known.

...

Specialists fear tens of thousands of people, mainly the elderly and frail, will be left to suffer excruciating levels of pain or pay as much as £500 each for private treatment.

The NHS currently issues more than 60,000 treatments of steroid injections every year. NICE said in its guidance it wants to cut this to just 3,000 treatments a year, a move which would save the NHS £33 million.

And just think pretty soon the U.S. will have it's own medical guidance board. Whoopee!!!

I still maintain that this entire evolution on health care is really a stealth effort at entitlement reform. With a projected short fall of 13.6 Trillion dollars Social Security has the potential to break the treasury, but if we downsize the burden by denying old people care so they die faster and make other people so miserable that they opt for physician assisted suicide then we can go a long way to cleaning that up.

Added bonus- with the food shortages that Glenn Beck assures me are coming due to Obama's stupid economic policies there will be lots of raw material for Soylent Grey. Soylent Grey is Old people!!!

Posted by: chad98036 at 10:15 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Sienna Miller needs to strap on her Baroness gear and kick somebody's ass

I removed a rant against the mee.nu software after reading Alice's comment.  It's not my blog and it's free so who am I to complain.  I just won't try and post pictures anymore.

Now back to Sienna Miller - she seriously needs to track down and hurt the people who designed and approved the Baroness DeCobray action figure the was just released in conjunction with G.I. Joe The Rise of Cobra.  It makes her look like Karl Malden with boobs and a bad wig.  Ugliest Shemale evah!

(doubleplusundead)  Here be the action figure in question,

more...

Posted by: chad98036 at 05:27 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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Stand by your man

The Southern Christian Leadership Conference, whose chapter president notes that they were "the only organization that took a stand with him" (and, gee, I wonder why, say, the ASPCA didn't join them?) is hosting a Michael Vick Community Celebration next weekend in Newport News, VA.

The celebration, which is free and open to the public, will include free food, a children's fashion show, face painting, moonwalk, DJ, music and family entertainment.

There's no word as to whether or not the event will also include a dog show, but I'm guessing that's more than a little unlikely.

Posted by: Sean M. at 01:22 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Demolishun: Ur doin' it rong

Even FAIL doesn't quite capture what happened here in Turkey...

Posted by: Sean M. at 12:39 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Hebrew (COCK)Hammertime

Yeah, I've seen these pictures but haven't had a more constructive response than, "someone should cut the achilles tendons of everyone involved, have horses brutally rape them for a few months and then feed them to pigs alive."

Plebian presented me a far more constructive alternative:



Exit Question: Should I have put the Star of David on the cock? I thought that might be sacrilegious even though I thought it would present the idea of the great Jewish people skull-fucking one of the most useless human beings that has ever swung left when her mom's leg was right.

Remember when I went on about how fucking talentless and useless the Coug was? Well, he's fucking Luciano Ludwig Van Einstein Mozart compared to this fat, obnoxious bitch.

Let me tell you a story.

I'm a Bears fan. Back in ought four they made the playoffs only to be embarrassingly defeated by, in essence, an expansion team including the most awesomely awesome moment where the first play from scrimmage by that team ended in a touchdown.

Now, like I said. I'm a Bears fan.
Superfans 1

Needless to say, I took it pretty seriously. I went out and consumed, at the very LEAST, half a bottle of gin on my way to a coma. If I had been in Florida I'd have made national news.

Aaaaanyway, I woke up with a burn on my leg about the size of business card. I'm not talking red skin. This was easily a third degree burn that went all the way through the skin and down into the flesh. No idea where it came from.

Fast forward a few weeks. Finally, after tons of washing and care the wound had scabbed over and looked like it was starting to heal.

Wrong.

I'll spare you the details but it wasn't until April until the wound was what I'd call fully healed. Still, I have a VERY impressive scar on my leg.

Now, why did I tell this seemingly unrelated, disgusting story?

Because Roseanne Bar reminds me of this puss-filled, crater in my leg. I have no idea where she came from. She's obviously the product of alcohol, she's disgusting, useless, painful to look at and won't. fucking. go away. No matter how many times she gets scraped off the surface, she just fucking festers some more until she's threatening to make you vomit. Oh, and my leg wound had about 49% more talent and sense than her.

To this day, I can make a little joke about my leg and people will laugh. On the other hand, nothing that Roseanne Barr has ever done has made people laugh.

I hope she gets terrible cancer and the only doctor that can treat her is Jewish and he just shows her the goddamned pictures and lets her fucking rot to death, alone fat and fucking soulless.

Burn in hell, ass fucker.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 05:20 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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Nothing for clunkers

The so-called "cash for clunkers" program has stimulated car sales so much that, well, it's going tits-up as of midnight.

The government is suspending the explosively popular 'cash for clunkers' program at midnight tonight fearing it would go broke before it could parcel out what it still owes dealers for a huge backlog of sales.

Although it's been wildly popular with people who wanted to get new cars, dealers have been frustrated by all the red tape involved:

Dealers loved the extra sales, but some were already getting cold feet about the deals because of the difficulty in processing them.

One dealer was going to suspend anyway. Another says he's having to haul clunkers back to his lot that he already shipped to the junkyard just to disable them. Others say deals are being held up by red tape.

But rules governing the program totaled 135 pages. They required dealers to register and many started off the week just trying to get answers on a government-jammed website. The rules are "very confusing," says Pete Greiner, who has a Ford dealership that bears his name in Casper, Wyo. "The administration of the program is extremely tough."

Some dealers said demand has been so brisk, they feared the program could go broke in days or weeks.

One Honda and General Motors dealer in Fort Worth says he has 50 clunker deals that were being held up by paperwork. "We're going back to our second and third round with customers to have things signed," said Will Churchill, owner of Frank Kent Motor. "They keep coming up with new forms to sign," Churchill said.

Now the dealership is in a Catch-22 situation: he must destroy the engines of clunker trade-ins to be eligible for the program. But if the paperwork falls through, he could be stuck with junked, rather than still running, cars.

Gee, who could have possibly foreseen that a big government spending program like this could have a downside?

Posted by: Sean M. at 08:22 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Arizona State Capitol To Auction Off Naming Rights?

Hell, why not. Given how ass fuckingly ass fisted the stae is right now, that idea may not be far off. Especially when stupidity such as this is being floated around as an idea to stem the red ink.

Under the complex financial arrangement, state government services would continue without interruption while the state picks up a cash infusion estimated by Capitol number-crunchers at $735 million.

Gov. Jan Brewer said Wednesday she hadn't made any decisions on which state properties should be sold.

For investors, the deal means long term lease payments from a stable source.

"What they want is an asset that you're not going to walk away from," said Tom Manos, Gov. Jan Brewer's top fiscal adviser.

"They really don't care about the asset. What they care about is how essential is the asset," Manos added, citing talks with bankers.

Legislation to set the refinancing plan in motion is part of a budget-balancing plan being considered by the Legislature on Wednesday for the fiscal year that began July 1.

It also was included in a budget that the Legislature approved July 1 but that part of it and many others were vetoed the same day by Brewer because it didn't include her proposal for a temporary sales tax.

The list of candidate properties was reported Wednesday by The Arizona Republic. It had been disclosed previously that prisons could be involved.

The properties legislation does not specify which specific properties would be sold, and a candidates list provided to lawmakers only specifies the price to replace properties, not the amounts each would fetch in a refinancing.

 

Seriously, what corporate sponsors could we find for this venture?

Posted by: eddiebear at 09:53 AM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
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Just a reminder....

If you're Southern, you're still not wanted in the New "Majority":

Yeah, he voted for TARP, and yeah, he voted for that awful confiscatory tax on the AIG bonuses, but he’s made to order as a message man: Young, comfortable talking about the economy, and not from the south. More TV time, please.

Mmmhmm. 

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 09:00 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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How to go from Fail to Epic Fail in one easy step.

Updated again, oops edition. _.
Tex at Whacking Day (err..uhhhh.. did you bring the pre-wacked snakes?) is a motorcycle guy and he found a Fail Of The.... well, it might be Ever.

First, he quotes the thread starter from a blog devoted to the Suzuki GSXR
My bike was running like crap on my way home from work so I stopped at a gas station to get some NOS. I poured in 2 bottles and rode it home. Well I don’t think it helped because it ran even worse on the way home and now it won’t start. Any ideas?

NOS isn't nitrous, it's a gasoline additive they have in Australia. So the guy poured two bottles of gasoline additive into his tanks, I gather it's made up of mostly kerosene. As Tex and a few commenters on the bike thread note, one bottle treats like 15 gallons, he added two to a 3 gallon tank.
"Well, that's Fail, but the most Fail ever? C'mon Veeshir". you say? (probably with more cursing, you guys are a foul-mouthed lot)

Tex quotes a guy from the thread
unless you used the NOS energy drink instead of injector cleaner, then you’ve really done it…

Oh noes! He poured two, 22 fl oz (pictured) bottles of 'Red Bull' into his Suzuki GSXR750.
That's two bottles of caffeinated sugar into his high-performance bike. 
And then, blared it to the world.
On a thread full of devotees of the Suzuki GSXR.

I'm not sure if he could have failed any more.

UPDATE: I was wrong, he could fail more as Jeff notes, quote
The best part? His avatar on the forum is a picture of a bottle of NOS... the energy drink.

As conservativeinthecity notices
Pretty sure the avatar change was AFTER he became a forum legend.
Oh well, it was too good to be true.

Posted by: Veeshir at 02:05 PM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
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Your morning dose of EPIC FAIL, courtesy of The Hill

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the 5th most beautiful person on Capitol Hill.

Done bleaching out your eyeballs?  Okay. 

I'm assuming that Rep. Waters threatened The Hill with nationalization if she didn't make the cut.  But do make sure to click to the rest of the link, as there is enough EPIC WIN there to balance it out.

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 07:01 AM | Comments (15) | Add Comment
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DHS: "Tornado Alley" a great place to build an infectious pathogen lab

Fortunately somebody at GAO noticed.

WaPo:

The Department of Homeland Security relied on a rushed, flawed study to justify its decision to locate a $700 million research facility for highly infectious pathogens in a tornado-prone section of Kansas, according to a government report.

The department's analysis was not "scientifically defensible" in concluding that it could safely handle dangerous animal diseases in Kansas -- or any other location on the U.S. mainland, according to a Government Accountability Office draft report obtained by The Washington Post. The GAO said DHS greatly underestimated the chance of accidental release and major contamination from such research, which has been conducted only on a remote island off the United States.

Still want government to run health care?

(via Slashdot)

Posted by: JoeCollins at 11:52 AM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
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Gasolina

I don't know which is worse, that the kid was stupid enough to do this or that the dad was stupid enough to stand by while the kid did this.  Or maybe that truTV sticks this in the 'Most Daring' category, that might be the worst part.

Posted by: Alice H at 05:26 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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FDA going after electronic cigs

They're saying that they have traces of toxic chemicals in the nicotine solution.  Okay, but aren't they still leagues better than cigarettes anyway?  Why do I have a feeling that they're going to use this as an excuse to ban, regulate or tax the hell out of e-cigs?

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 11:04 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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United Airlines taking PR hit over broken guitar

Now, I dunno that I'd put the entire 10% drop in stock price on Dave Carroll's youtube song like the article, given the crappy economy, but it certainly doesn't help at all.  The video has had over 3 million hits thus far, so it's definitely being seen by a whole of of potential United Airlines customers.  BTW, the guitar was $3,500, so this wasn't some cheap junker, either.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 09:00 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Obama Motors Treats Its Union Brethren Well By Outsourcing Their Jobs

Meh. I would feel more sorry for these guys, but they sided with Obama, and pushed for his plan to take over GM.

Montana’s U.S. delegation was quick to criticize a bankruptcy judge’s decision to allow General Motors Co. to drop its precious metals contract with Columbus (MT)-based Stillwater Mining. GM will instead get its palladium and rhodium, used to make catalytic converters, from suppliers in Russia and South Africa.

Heh. Too. Fucking. Bad.

Posted by: eddiebear at 12:29 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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From The "What The Fuck Is This"? Files

People tossing sharks onto the road?

The shark was on Northwest Fifth Avenue near Fourth Street since at least 7 p.m., witnesses said, but police said they first received a call around 9 p.m.

"It was a relief that it was a shark," said Keith Smith, a local resident. "When I first saw it, I thought it was a body because of all the shootings that have been going on. I was surprised and happy because of my concern for human life."

Miami police couldn't immediately dispose of the shark. They first had to determine whether it was a protected Florida species, a classification that can bring serious charges to anyone who kills it without a license.

Officers at the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission determined the shark was a nurse shark. And as they prepared to take the shark away, a passerby told cops just how the shark got there.

Renato Martinez, 53, works at Garcia's, the fish wholesalers and restaurant on the Miami River. He said two men biked to the store, and offered to sell the shark for $10.

Absolutely not, the staff told the men. Those men must have dumped the shark in the middle of the street, Martinez concluded.

"I'm not crazy," Martinez said. "I know it's the same shark."

Seriously, What. The Fuck?

Posted by: eddiebear at 08:31 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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