July 22, 2009

From The "What The Fuck Is This"? Files

People tossing sharks onto the road?

The shark was on Northwest Fifth Avenue near Fourth Street since at least 7 p.m., witnesses said, but police said they first received a call around 9 p.m.

"It was a relief that it was a shark," said Keith Smith, a local resident. "When I first saw it, I thought it was a body because of all the shootings that have been going on. I was surprised and happy because of my concern for human life."

Miami police couldn't immediately dispose of the shark. They first had to determine whether it was a protected Florida species, a classification that can bring serious charges to anyone who kills it without a license.

Officers at the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission determined the shark was a nurse shark. And as they prepared to take the shark away, a passerby told cops just how the shark got there.

Renato Martinez, 53, works at Garcia's, the fish wholesalers and restaurant on the Miami River. He said two men biked to the store, and offered to sell the shark for $10.

Absolutely not, the staff told the men. Those men must have dumped the shark in the middle of the street, Martinez concluded.

"I'm not crazy," Martinez said. "I know it's the same shark."

Seriously, What. The Fuck?

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