May 04, 2009

Presidency Stressful on Obama Marriage

by Joseph Gerbels, AP Writer
 
Despite outward appearances of calm and detachment, sources close to the First Couple reveal that the first 100+ days of presidency have brought unimaginable stress to Barack and Michelle Obama.  What is different than past presidencies, though, is their response to this stress.  Instead of crumbling, their marriage has grown ever stronger, as if blessed by Nietzsche himself.
 
"Responses to White House stress have ranged from alcoholism to lawbreaking to suicide," said presidential historian Andrew Sullivan.  "But this time around we're seeing a change that makes us hope we're finally past the era of mentally unstable presidents.  This time, we're being inspired by a couple who are not just better partners because of this stress.  They're better parents.  Better people."
 
Insiders close to the Obamas agreed.  One longtime aide said that said that "from time to time in the past they might have a reasoned, calm disagreement over something trivial, like where to vacation or how many pairs of six-hundred-dollar shoes they really needed.  But now those disagreements have vanished as they focus on more important things, like the best way to carve up GM between the UAW and ACORN."
 
"And I've never seen them closer, happier, or more inspiring to those around them," another staffer said.  "I only wish that I could find a sliver of their happiness in my drab, meaningless, everyday life."
 
Many are hoping that the Obamas don't keep their relationship skills a secret, and are encouraging them to share.  Talk show host Larry King has offered Michelle an open microphone any time she wants it.  "She's like the wisdom of Dr. Joyce Brothers meets the sexiness of Dr. Ruth Westheimer.  I think more people would listen to Michelle Obama talk relationships than listen to Rush Limbaugh and Oprah Winfrey combined."
 
Not everyone is so sanguine about the Obama's relationship, though, with some wondering how long it can last.  "My main concern," said one White House pool reporter "is that we only have three years, seven months, and eight days guaranteed for us to observe this model of latter-day marital perfection.  Is it enough?  Or should we begin amending the constitution now to appoint them our King and Queen for perpetuity?"

Posted by: plebian at 01:16 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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May 01, 2009

If you live in the Northeast, that strange noise you heard a few hours ago

...was the sound of an auditorium full of leftist heads simultaneously exploding at MIT when they heard the Dalai Lama call George Bush a model leader.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 09:10 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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