Further Proof Steroids Are Bad For You

Just ask this guy, who used to be an American Gladiator.

"Bitch t- -s, man boobs, breast-chesticles is what they're called on the street. Gynecomastia is the scientific name. No matter what you call it, I [had] it," Clark, who was "Nitro" on the smash reality series, reveals in his memoir, "Gladiator: A True Story of 'Roids, Rage and Redemption," out next month. "I hate[d] taking off my shirt. For photo shoots, [I'd] wet my nipple with spit . . . [to] look firm instead of hanging down."

As he shot seven seasons of "American Gladiators" from 1989 to 1996, he pleaded with the wardrobe stylist to make him a new uniform, but didn't tell her it was "to hide my budding breasts." He eventually underwent reduction surgery.

Clark, a former LA Rams defensive lineman, used steroids for 20 years. They also took their toll on his private parts, so much so that he embarrassingly had to explain to women what was going on. "My b- - -s never really regained their size. They're kind of shriveled," he sadly told one bedmate. In addition, steroids subjected him to a "dull throbbing pain" every time he had sex.

Yup. I may have only above average ass kicking ability, but I will never trade in my abilities in the sack.

Then again, why am I here at night and not playing rumpus room with a roomful of hot, nekkid wimmins?

Posted by: eddiebear at 12:50 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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