Idiots+Sports+YouTube=Easy Pickings For Me

or



And, finally,

Posted by: eddiebear at 12:57 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Enjoy your prison stay, Sgt. Dumbass

This asshat bought an Army uniform online, and was running around pretending he was an Army sergeant.  Police busted Sgt. Dumbass as he was trying to cash a bogus check for $40K at a bank, some of the arresting officers were retired servicemen, and knew he was a bogus soldier.  The guy had already bought a new Dodge Charger with another bogus check.  I'm guessing Sgt. Dumbass is going to learn a whole new meaning for "embrace the suck" once his trial ends...

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 01:29 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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The Dutch are getting sick of all the friggin' stoners invading their country

Fellas, you set yourselves up as the pothead mecca, of course you were going to get overrun by douchebaggy hippies, trustafarians and college students.  Alas, it appears that some cities are looking to limit the amount of weed you can buy, so that means we'll be less likely to rid ourselves of the wankers for two weeks out of the year.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 12:31 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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There is only one possible response to this story

Doctors find worm in woman's brain

The only appropriate response to this? EW EW EW EW OMG EW WTF ARRRRGGGGGHHHHH

Bonus points for running around in a circle and flailing like I did.

Posted by: alexthechick at 04:58 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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What's wrong with the U.S. Senate in one headline

"Stevens leaves to a standing ovation"

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 12:17 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Gee, It Seems As Though Some People Are Just Sick Assholes

Of course, this piece of debris has hit the Willy Wonka Ticket in the Asshole Lottery.

First, he did this:

Robert Melia Jr., 38, also pleaded innocent to charges of official misconduct and animal cruelty. He appeared in court with his attorney, but said nothing.

Last month, Melia was indicted with his former girlfriend, Heather Lewis, 33, of Pemberton Township on multiple counts of aggravated sexual assault, aggravated criminal sexual contact, criminal sexual contact, endangering the welfare of a child, sexual assault and one count of invasion of privacy.

Lewis pleaded innocent last week.

Lewis and Melia are due back in Superior Court before Judge Thomas S. Smith, Jr. in January. If convicted of all charges, both face life in prison.

The 45-count indictment stems from incidents with three girls at Melia's Cottage Avenue home in Moorestown between June 2000 and January 2008, authorities said.

Ok. That's bad enough. Fucker needs to burn for that alone. But, he tops that heinous activity by doing the following:

Also, authorities allege Melia engaged in sex acts with cows at an undisclosed location in Southampton in 2006. According to court document, investigators found video of the incident and other pornographic materials when they searched Melia's house in April.

"Other material"? What, pray tell, is that?

Jeebus. What the fuck is wrong with some people?

Posted by: eddiebear at 10:07 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Guess who?

Patterico describes a certain doucheblogger as "a shrieking, hysterical, gullible moron."  I'll give you three guesses as to who he's referring to, and the first two don't count.

(Oh, and, yeah, I'm offended by the "moron" thing, too.  I DEMAND SATISFACTION!)

Posted by: Sean M. at 07:33 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Fellas, Just Remember This Guy's Fate When You See A Pasta Jar

If I have said it once, I've said it a thousand times: if you have to put your junk in a pasta jar, at least don't do it while driving.

Police drew their weapons when they suspected Keith Roy Weatherley, 46, was armed.

Instead, they found him partially clothed with his genitals in a jar, a police statement said.

Weatherley, of Promontory Way, North Arm Cove, attracted attention parked in a no-stopping zone before noon on October 26.

Police believed Weatherley was doing something with his hands in his lap and thought that he might have a weapon.

Weatherley saw the police and drove away, despite them flashing their lights.

The chase lasted five to 10 minutes, with a top speed of just 20 kmh, before Weatherley was stopped at Centenary Drive, Newcastle. He refused to leave the car.

Uh, no. He just needed an extra minute or so.

Posted by: eddiebear at 08:50 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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No they're not

And yes, I'll make you head to the link to figure out why they're not normal:

King: When you met, were you -- what kind of couple were you?

Thomas: A normal couple.

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 12:57 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Guess Who Is Now Popular With MSNBC?

Just guess.

And yet, the first time Parker, Brooks, Frum, Noonan, Will, or Buckley dare criticize The Messiah, guess again how many more invites they will have to appear on MSNBC?

Posted by: eddiebear at 10:40 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Why Hillary! won't be a good Secretary of State..

...Apart from the fact that they're rarely good no matter what, that is:

True statesmanship, it should go without saying, requires political disinterestedness. As a Senator wisely put it many years ago:

'A politician thinks of the next election. A statesman, of the next generation.'

Which model best fits our girl?

(h/t)

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 03:49 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Remember Biz Markee?

Here he is on a show my daughter (she's 3 1/2) loves on Noggin called Yo Gabba Gabba.

Posted by: eddiebear at 09:53 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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I'm afraid they didn't factor in the deaths from my murder spree

Study: Paying more for alcohol saves lives

(Via Moron Central.)

Posted by: Sean M. at 12:41 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Stick with the pantsuits, Hillary

What the hell?

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 08:45 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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Because $700 Billion isn't "too much," apparently

Headline: "Bush Warns Against `Too Much' Government in Markets"

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 08:21 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Microscope on White House staffers

Why are job applicants for staff positions at the White House being scrutinized more carefully than The One ever was?

I'm wondering what they're planning on doing with the question about whether anyone in the applicant's family owns a gun.  Or whether answers that would land a Republican on the front page of CNN will result in a wink and a shrug.

What do you think is being asked on the questionnaire?  What's really important to the Obama administration?

Posted by: Alice H at 05:47 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Just How Retarded Is The GOP? (Don't Answer)

In the GA Senate runoff race, here is what the Democrats are using to get out the votes:

Obama’s former campaign workers are now assisting Martin in his 25 offices across the state, Martin said. Those ground troops, he said, are more important than big-name politicians for getting voters back to the polls. Some prominent Democrats have volunteered to come down for his campaign, Martin said, without offering specifics.

Ok, so what big guns do the Republicans unleash?

Republicans haven’t been idle. The National Republican Senatorial Committee has issued a web-only fund-raising ad, which declares that incumbent Saxby Chambliss’ re-election is required, if we are to escape the “radical social agenda” of Barack Obama and other Democrats.

Former presidential candidate John McCain, scheduled to be here on Thursday, has sent out a relatively non-ideological fund-raising letter to Georgia voters, inviting them to “go on one more mission with me.”

U.S. Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-Utah), in another fund-raising letter, was less temperate: “We need every resource we can muster to ensure liberals don’t steal the election in Minnesota, and to stop the MoveOn.org’s candidate in Georgia.”

Orrin Hatch? Man, that gets me all hot and excited! And McCain is as weak in helping a fellow Senator as he was/is in defending his running mate.

Excuse me while I go stick my head in the oven.

Posted by: eddiebear at 11:48 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Anathema

Now, this is just pure eeeeevil.

(Explanation here.)

Posted by: Sean M. at 07:34 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Hell is a hotel room with horrible WiFi

Which means that Hell is in Falls Church, Va., and I am in it.

Just sayin'.

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 05:46 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Further Proof That Scandis Are Filthy Perverts

What was a father of two doing with these animals?

The group, consisting of an estimated thirty people, is headed by a 45-year-old father of two, Expressen [some Swedish Newspaper] reports.

The unmarried former managing director is also moderator of a large internet animal sex forum and has a number of dogs and horses on his farm in southern Sweden.

Having infiltrated the network over a period of several months, Expressen eventually confronted the 45-year-old over his alleged mistreatment of animals.

Nice! And how did the ice chunker act when confronted?

But the man was quick to defend his relations with a bitch he bought online from a city-dwelling family who said they wanted the dog to have a better life in the countryside.

"Any of the times I did anything with her she was the one who backed into me and provoked it. She was in heat and made herself available. There were also times later when she didn't want to and then I backed out immediately," he told Expressen.

Oh, so a considerate pervert. How chivalrous.

Posted by: eddiebear at 11:39 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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