Priorities

With the American auto industry apparently in dire need of bailouts to stay afloat, it's nice to see that the Politburo here in the Soviet of California are doing their part to help out.

While the state is wallowing in a $28 billion deficit over the next 18 months, newly-elected lawmakers got new cars. From $32,000 hybrids to $46,000 Cadillacs, their new rides will cost taxpayers an estimated $1.3 million.

It is a perk included lawmakers' six-figure salaries.

"The California Legislature has the highest-paid members in the country. So they're very well compensated. So I think a threshold question is whether or not they should even get any car allowance or cars at all," said Jon Coupal of the Howard Jarvis Taxpayers Association.

Lawmakers also get their gasoline and maintenance paid for by the state.

Can someone please remind me again why I still live here?

(h/t)

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Staring into the abyss

I'm pretty sure this is sort of what hell is like:

The 30-bed Hau Sheng Hospital in Yuanlin in central Taiwan is reportedly the world's first Hello Kitty themed medical establishment.

From blankets and birth certificates to cots and uniforms worn by staff, every aspect of the Hello Kitty hospital is emblazoned with the feline motif.

Patients are welcomed by a statue of Hello Kitty dressed in a doctor's uniform, before travelling in a Hello Kitty elevator to a pink examination room with Hello Kitty posters on the wall.

Does this mean that they have Hello Kitty bedpans, too? Because I think I'd be alright with something like that.

Posted by: Sean M. at 09:28 PM | Comments (12) | Add Comment
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"Mind If I Smoke?"

Well, maybe this lady should have thought this through a little more.

Thirty-two-year-old Honesty Knight was a passenger in a vehicle that Trooper Eric Perkins pulled over for a traffic violation early Friday. While the trooper was talking to the driver, Knight obtained the trooper's permission to smoke.

Police say Perkins then asked to see the cigarette, which contained marijuana, not tobacco.

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Kids these days

Not content with sneaking their dads' beers, smoking joints in the basement, licking toads, and all the other stuff we used to do to get our kicks, the youth of today have apparently found a new and disturbing way to party:

It seems kids have found a new way to get high by inserting vodka soaked tampons into the vagina. And just so the boys won't be left out, it works rectally as well.

I think I'll stick to the more, um, traditional way of ingesting my Val-U-Rite, thank you.

Posted by: Sean M. at 09:38 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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F*cking hat

Hilarious.  A parrot that found his way to some pills that are supposed to boost sex drive, and tried to mate with his owner's hat.

Also a belated happy birthday to our co-blogger bmac! 

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 08:08 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Don't worry Dems, I'm sure some GOP Senators can be bought or are willing to sell out

The Dems are basically threatening to shut things down if Bush refuses the auto bailout...if Bush has any sense left, he'll call Dingy Harry and Pelosi into his office, blink a few times, and say "go ahead Harry, Nancy, shut'er down."  Then turn around in his chair and wait for them to excuse themselves.  Now, if only we could get that and if the Short-Bus All-Stars in the GOP leadership can be kept from selling out...tall order, I know.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 09:21 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Grand Rapids Public School System gets an F

Though really, they should get an EF for EPIC FAIL.  Seems the principals and some of the teachers decided that giving an F to a student is too mean, so they're giving failing students an H, and they'd be allowed to retake the class.  The union head thinks it's bullshit too, but who knows if that's just because they don't want the extra work, we are talking unions here.

Really, an H?  Make it an F, you sniveling douchebags.

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Parent Of The Year!

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Bailouts? We don't need no steenking bailouts!

No, instead, let's follow the advice of this L.A. Times douchetool and just nationalize General Motors.  Yeah, that's the ticket.

Oh, and Dave Burge, call your office.

Posted by: Sean M. at 12:29 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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"Some may think it's a bit freaky"

Feeling lonely?  Feeling blue?  If so, just watch the following video and feel secure in the knowledge that you'll probably never be anywhere nearly as creepy and sad as this guy: 

*Mild Content Warning*

Posted by: Sean M. at 03:03 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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I Am Again Proud To Be A Missourian

Especially since geniuses such as this guy almost removed himself from the gene pool.

Forty-nine-year-old Randy Goodman said he thought two well-placed shots with his .270-caliber rifle had killed the buck on Nov. 19. Goodman said the deer looked dead to him, but seconds later the nine-point, 240-pound animal came to life.

The buck rose up, knocked Goodman down and attacked him with his antlers in what the veteran hunter called "15 seconds of hell." The deer ran a short distance and went down, and died after Goodman fired two more shots.

Unfortunately, this guy only suffered head injuries, so nothing important was damaged.

Dumbass should have know that you always check to make sure the deer is dead first.

Posted by: eddiebear at 11:54 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Why it took so long to secure the Taj Mahal Palace Hotel

I'm no expert on guns or urban warfare, but this doesn't exactly seem like the most effective way to...well...do whatever it is this guy was trying to do.



Hey India, maybe it's about time for you to start spending money on training your army?  Just a thought.

(h/t)

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 02:56 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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On nightmares

I had a dream last night that the RNC Chairman had been chosen.  Who was it?  The answer is below the fold.

more...

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 02:40 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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The times has come to talk of many things

Of shoes - these shoes in particular



Now.  Objectively, these are horrific.  And only $1,800!  But there's part of me that loves them in all of their Cher-tastic glory.  I mean, can't you just see Cher, during her Sonny and Cher Show days, wearing these and a Pocohontas outfit.  In fact, I think she did wear an outfit like that.  But yes, these may be ugly as all hell but they do speak to my inner diva. 

Posted by: alexthechick at 03:16 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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I just don't get it

The Brady Campaign and other authoritarian vermin tell us that only police officers and other government agents can safely handle firearms...yet here's another cop ignoring basic safety rules and shooting himself with the damn thing.

Barry also notes that he's baffled as to why Plaxico Burress was carrying a firearm in a nightclub (again, idjit shot himself) in cities and states where there are pretty stringent gun control laws...I'm more baffled by the idea that someone thought that naming their kid Plaxico was a good idea, sounds like something you'd name a small manufacturing firm.

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Americans for Tax Reform looks at my pension system

Turns out I'm screwed.  Who could have guessed?

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 01:18 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Shocka! A Perverted Japanese Man!

But what did this fine lad do to get him a First Ballot Induction into the creepiness Hall Of Fame?

He used big-ass worms as a tool to get women to move.

He was arrested on the spot by a patrolling police officer after releasing the creatures on the Keihan line in Osaka prefecture.

"He would go close to women on the train, any woman, and pour out the worms from containers,'' a police spokesman said today.

Local police had been on alert after 18 similar cases of released worms had been reported this month by the same train operator.

"When the arrest was made, the man had nearly emptied a container, which is believed to have held 200 worms,'' he said.

"You cannot count them because there are so many.''

Mr Mizuta had 10 containers in his backpack estimated to contain a total of 3600 worms, police said.

"We have the worms sitting inside the police station right now,'' the spokesman said.

"You see them wriggling inside their clear cases. It's really disgusting.''

You said it buddy.

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Football Coaches Are Calm And Sedate

Just like this guy.

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I Found A Way To Survive Living In Wisconsin

Heavy drinking. But dude, 11 DUI arrests?

A  Kenosha man accused of his 11th drunken-driving offense pleaded not guilty Monday, despite evidence of a blood-alcohol level nearly four times the legal limit.

The next hearing is set for January in the case against Deciderio Soto, 51. He is charged with driving while intoxicated, as a 10th and subsequent offense.

If convicted, Soto could be sentenced to 7½ years in prison. He also could lose his driver’s license for at least two years, and his license could not be restored without alcohol treatment.

Soto is in jail because he has not posted a $20,000 cash bond.

Well, it is Wisconsin, so being drunk is one way to get through the misery that is 10 months of snow and bad accents.

Posted by: eddiebear at 12:46 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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Okay, this is bad

I had no idea how dire this whole worldwide economic meltdown thingy was until now:

The global financial crisis has grown so bad that Russians are cutting back on vodka.

Stockpiles of Russia's national drink were six times higher at the start of the month than the same time a year ago because factories are producing vodka faster than they can sell it, an alcohol industry lobby and research group said on Monday.

"People are having to save money, including on drinks, and this is connected to the impact of the financial crisis on people's disposable incomes," Pavel Shapkin, president of the National Alcohol Association (NAA), told Reuters.

Now, this is serious, but I think we can all agree to keep calm until my people—the Irish—start cutting back on the hooch. Then, I'm sure we can all agree, it will be time to crack each others' skulls open and feast on the goo inside.

Posted by: Sean M. at 02:39 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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