"He Bite Me In My Vagina...He Bites The Labrador On His Penis"

Folks, this is why some people should never be allowed to own dogs.

Posted by: eddiebear at 12:35 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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"Moron Arrested After Driving Truck Into House"

Sure, this news story is ten months old, but that sure as hell doesn't make it any less awesome:

The arresting officer said Moron failed sobriety tests. The arrest report shows Moron had a blood alcohol level of more than twice the legal limit.

Of course he'd been drinking. He's a Moron.

Posted by: Sean M. at 01:52 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Juror Lives The Moron Lifestyle

Dude chooses drinking over jury duty for a drunk driving case.

Lemons received a summons to appear as a prospective juror in the case. When he didn't show up on Monday, a bailiff called his house. Lemons told the bailiff he was too busy to come to court.

Associate Circuit Judge Scott Thomsen instructed officers to bring Lemons to the courthouse. Deputies say they detected a strong odor of alcohol on him. Lemons was held in custody while the DWI trial went on.

Authorities say Lemons told the judge he had been drinking rum in the morning. Thomsen found Lemons in contempt of court and fined him $250.

Posted by: eddiebear at 11:26 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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A little afternoon leg-crushing FAIL for you

From Alice H (found here), we get this,

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 01:39 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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Snake looking for some good head

That would suck.  Heh.

(h/t)

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 11:27 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Racismainia hits Appalachia!

Why?  Well, these people are in Appalachia and aren't Obama cultists.  Do we need any more proof? 

The Los Angeles Times doesn't. 

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 05:35 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Somehow I doubt this is that far off point

Here is Quin Hillyer of the American Spectator, being a big ol' racist (emphasis mine):

Have things really reached the point where ANY criticism of Obama is racist? Next thing you know, criticism of Obama for having the most liberal voting record in the Senate will be called racist. Criticism of Obama for being against the surge will be called racist. Hell, next thing you know, criticism of Joe Biden will be called racist, because Biden is the running mate for a black man and, well, any criticism of him is code for racist opposition to Obama.

I am actually awaiting that last bit.  I hadn't thought about it before, but now it seems inevitable. 

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 04:22 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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CNN's Fact Check on the Obama-Ayers relationship; Now with UPDATE

Is Obama "palling around" with domestic terrorists?  You'll never guess their answer. 

Remember, the truth is what Dear Leader says it is!

Update: Gov. Palin pointing out Obama's association with Ayers is also, you guessed it, racist. 

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 09:21 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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I guess Kathleen Parker wasn't crying into her Crystal Light last night

This woman continues to beclown herself:

But there's no question: She won the debate on popularity. She did her homework, studied hard, and delivered with spunk. Still, I had the uneasy feeling throughout that I was witnessing a data dump from a very appealing droid. Even the winks and jaw juts seemed slightly programmed.

Hell, even David Brooks thought that Gov. Palin did an outstanding job last night.  She's out-Brooksing Brooks!

But if that's what it takes to continue getting bookings on Hardball, I guess it's all worth it!

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 01:49 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Man-lesbian seen doing cartwheels

May God help us all, Limp Bizkit is reuniting.  Between this and the news Rosie O'Donnell (who is just a lesbian) is getting a new show on NBC, it seems all our collective nightmares from the entertainment world are returning from the grave.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 09:39 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Something Tells Me We Need To Work On Transporting Our Nuclear Weapons

Especially when a truck carrying various parts crash into ditches in North Dakota.

"There were no injuries and the accident posed no danger to the public," the Air Force said in a statement.

The rocket booster and truck remained at the side of the road until Aug. 10, while investigators assessed the crash site.

Air Force spokeswoman Maj. Laurie A. Arellano said the recovery cost of $5.6 million included damage to the truck and its cargo.

"Inadequate gravel road training programs and the inability of 91st Missile Wing engineering personnel to accurately determine the safe load-bearing width of gravel roads along designated routes also contributed to the accident," the Air Force statement said.

The Air Force said the booster rocket is 66 feet long and weighs 75,000 pounds while the vehicle, trailer and rocket booster weighed more than 70 tons.

"While preparing to make a left turn, the driver and safety observer maneuvered the loaded tractor-trailer beyond the right edge of the reinforced gravel roadway and shoulder," the Air Force statement said.

"Basically, the procedure for large trucks is that they're supposed to drive in the middle of the gravel road," Arellano said.

Dr. Evil is unimpressed.

Posted by: eddiebear at 08:45 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Guess who...

...the Kos Kiddies are quoting where Sarah Palin is concerned? Those are some really nice fans you're drawing there, dumbass.

Update: In another "diary" filed by Markos himself, Joe Lieberman is quoted thusly as some sort of "nutroots gotcha":

She hit it out of the ballpark. She proved that she is ready to be John McCain's Vice President. She was strong, she was competent, she was informed, she was very genuine. She was humorous.

In related news, Ned "The Freshmaker" Lamont was unavailable for comment.

Posted by: Sean M. at 03:49 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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doubleplusundead----------------------------------------------------------------
October 3, 2008 Whenever I finished this stupid post

Parker Problem

She's out of her league.

If at one time conservatives were considered heretical for swimming upstream against Marxist orthodoxy, they now face condemnation from a few sniveling pundits for swimming downstream — away from Kathleen Parker. 

To express reservations about her qualifications to be a syndicated columnist — and possibly a cable news channel pundit — is to risk bruising her fragile ego.

Some of the passionately conservative critics of Parker who attacked her personally deserved some of the backlash they received. But circumstances have changed since Parker was introduced as just a social issue commenter — what a difference an election with a normal conservative makes — and a more complicated picture has emerged.

As we’ve seen and heard more from the NRO columnist, it is increasingly clear that Parker is a problem. Quick study or not, she doesn’t know enough about the conservative movement to be a pundit beyond MSNBC.

Parker needs to admit she is Way Out of Her League.  Look, she's generally solid on social issues, but she let the Beltway warp her thinking.  Parker was angry that she'd have to face the chiding of the Beltway set because she spoke in support of Gov. Palin, then Palin did poorly in a few interviews.  How dare she embarrass Parker like that!

Parker then dug in deeper when she faced resistance from the popular conservative movement.  Now Parker has to suffer the embarrassment of having spent her last two weeks being a useful idiot for the Democrats and media, while Governor Palin has gone on to field-dress Joe Biden in a critical debate, and is back in the game.

What to do?

Only Parker can save her disintegrating credibility. She can grovel endlessly to the conservative movement and to Gov Palin. No one would criticize a conservative who could admit they let the Beltway and their own ego warp their thinking.

Do it for the Gipper.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 11:56 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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Is there any gas in here? Can't tell, it's dark. Hold on, I got a li...

A little afternoon FAIL for you.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 01:50 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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It's not a big truck, it's a series of indictments about to be dismissed?

The prosecution is apparently doing some seriously sloppy work in the trial of kleptocrat Ted Stevens, the judge got pissed and threatened to dismiss the indictment after the prosecution failed to give the defense information about one of the key witness' statements.  The judge told the jurors to take the next trial date off, that he had to hold a discussion with the legal teams.  I wonder what happens if he's acquitted?  I really hope Alaska finds a replacement for the corrupt bastard. 

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 01:03 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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They're stealing Ohio

Where the hell are the GOP lawyers?

(h/t)

Posted by: Sean M. at 11:43 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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Man, I Could Sure Go For Some Cooked Testicles Right ABout Now!

And, thanks to some guy from Serbia, I can now download the cookbook.

The e-book, available for download from the internet, comes with handy video guides showing the Serb peeling the skin off testicles and slicing them up into bite-size chunks.

Several different animals, including stallions, ostriches, bulls, pigs and turkeys, get the Erovic treatment.

"Wash testicles thoroughly for 30-45 minutes," begins the recipe for testicles pie.

"Once softened, mince them in a mincer."

A "very sharp knife" is needed for traditional style testicles, which get boiled, cut up and deep fried in hot oil.

Mr Erovic, 45, may be self-taught in the art of testicle cuisine but his 20 years of "cooking with balls" make him a world authority in the field.

"The tastiest testicles in my opinion probably come from bulls, stallions or ostriches, although other people have their own favourites," he said.

Andrew Sullivan was unavailable for comment.

Posted by: eddiebear at 08:56 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Home Shopping FAIL

Um, you're doing it wrong.

Posted by: conservativebelle at 05:43 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Athlete name FAIL!

Posted by: Sean M. at 02:15 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Udderly ridiculous

Good grief...

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 02:04 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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