Let's focus on the important things here people

CC Sabathia is going to the Yankees.

Nooooooooooooooo.  Like all true Americans, I hate the fucking Yankees.  My only hope is that he'll totally fail.  Or, like, start dating Madonna or something. 

I wish I had a cat to kick. 

Posted by: alexthechick at 01:20 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Priorities

With the American auto industry apparently in dire need of bailouts to stay afloat, it's nice to see that the Politburo here in the Soviet of California are doing their part to help out.

While the state is wallowing in a $28 billion deficit over the next 18 months, newly-elected lawmakers got new cars. From $32,000 hybrids to $46,000 Cadillacs, their new rides will cost taxpayers an estimated $1.3 million.

It is a perk included lawmakers' six-figure salaries.

"The California Legislature has the highest-paid members in the country. So they're very well compensated. So I think a threshold question is whether or not they should even get any car allowance or cars at all," said Jon Coupal of the Howard Jarvis Taxpayers Association.

Lawmakers also get their gasoline and maintenance paid for by the state.

Can someone please remind me again why I still live here?

(h/t)

Posted by: Sean M. at 12:40 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Staring into the abyss

I'm pretty sure this is sort of what hell is like:

The 30-bed Hau Sheng Hospital in Yuanlin in central Taiwan is reportedly the world's first Hello Kitty themed medical establishment.

From blankets and birth certificates to cots and uniforms worn by staff, every aspect of the Hello Kitty hospital is emblazoned with the feline motif.

Patients are welcomed by a statue of Hello Kitty dressed in a doctor's uniform, before travelling in a Hello Kitty elevator to a pink examination room with Hello Kitty posters on the wall.

Does this mean that they have Hello Kitty bedpans, too? Because I think I'd be alright with something like that.

Posted by: Sean M. at 09:28 PM | Comments (12) | Add Comment
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"Mind If I Smoke?"

Well, maybe this lady should have thought this through a little more.

Thirty-two-year-old Honesty Knight was a passenger in a vehicle that Trooper Eric Perkins pulled over for a traffic violation early Friday. While the trooper was talking to the driver, Knight obtained the trooper's permission to smoke.

Police say Perkins then asked to see the cigarette, which contained marijuana, not tobacco.

Posted by: eddiebear at 10:33 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Kids these days

Not content with sneaking their dads' beers, smoking joints in the basement, licking toads, and all the other stuff we used to do to get our kicks, the youth of today have apparently found a new and disturbing way to party:

It seems kids have found a new way to get high by inserting vodka soaked tampons into the vagina. And just so the boys won't be left out, it works rectally as well.

I think I'll stick to the more, um, traditional way of ingesting my Val-U-Rite, thank you.

Posted by: Sean M. at 09:38 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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F*cking hat

Hilarious.  A parrot that found his way to some pills that are supposed to boost sex drive, and tried to mate with his owner's hat.

Also a belated happy birthday to our co-blogger bmac! 

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 08:08 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Don't worry Dems, I'm sure some GOP Senators can be bought or are willing to sell out

The Dems are basically threatening to shut things down if Bush refuses the auto bailout...if Bush has any sense left, he'll call Dingy Harry and Pelosi into his office, blink a few times, and say "go ahead Harry, Nancy, shut'er down."  Then turn around in his chair and wait for them to excuse themselves.  Now, if only we could get that and if the Short-Bus All-Stars in the GOP leadership can be kept from selling out...tall order, I know.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 09:21 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Grand Rapids Public School System gets an F

Though really, they should get an EF for EPIC FAIL.  Seems the principals and some of the teachers decided that giving an F to a student is too mean, so they're giving failing students an H, and they'd be allowed to retake the class.  The union head thinks it's bullshit too, but who knows if that's just because they don't want the extra work, we are talking unions here.

Really, an H?  Make it an F, you sniveling douchebags.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 10:40 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Parent Of The Year!

Posted by: eddiebear at 12:00 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Bailouts? We don't need no steenking bailouts!

No, instead, let's follow the advice of this L.A. Times douchetool and just nationalize General Motors.  Yeah, that's the ticket.

Oh, and Dave Burge, call your office.

Posted by: Sean M. at 12:29 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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"Some may think it's a bit freaky"

Feeling lonely?  Feeling blue?  If so, just watch the following video and feel secure in the knowledge that you'll probably never be anywhere nearly as creepy and sad as this guy: 

*Mild Content Warning*

Posted by: Sean M. at 03:03 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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I Am Again Proud To Be A Missourian

Especially since geniuses such as this guy almost removed himself from the gene pool.

Forty-nine-year-old Randy Goodman said he thought two well-placed shots with his .270-caliber rifle had killed the buck on Nov. 19. Goodman said the deer looked dead to him, but seconds later the nine-point, 240-pound animal came to life.

The buck rose up, knocked Goodman down and attacked him with his antlers in what the veteran hunter called "15 seconds of hell." The deer ran a short distance and went down, and died after Goodman fired two more shots.

Unfortunately, this guy only suffered head injuries, so nothing important was damaged.

Dumbass should have know that you always check to make sure the deer is dead first.

Posted by: eddiebear at 11:54 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Why it took so long to secure the Taj Mahal Palace Hotel

I'm no expert on guns or urban warfare, but this doesn't exactly seem like the most effective way to...well...do whatever it is this guy was trying to do.



Hey India, maybe it's about time for you to start spending money on training your army?  Just a thought.

(h/t)

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 02:56 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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On nightmares

I had a dream last night that the RNC Chairman had been chosen.  Who was it?  The answer is below the fold.

more...

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 02:40 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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