Life imiatates art, or at least a disappointing M. Night Shyamalan film:

Japanese professionals in their thirties are killing themselves at unprecedented rates, as the nation struggles with a runaway suicide epidemic.

[...]

Even more disturbing than the raw suicide figures, said police, was the astounding recent surge in people who have taken their lives by generating highly poisonous hydrogen sulphide gas from a combination of standard household products.

Unlike more traditional methods such as hanging or drugs overdoses, the production of hydrogen sulphide endangers people in the same building and turns what used to be private despair into a public event.

Connect the dots, people.

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 07:36 PM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
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You already know you're a moron—if you weren't, you wouldn't be here—but are you a geek, too?  Well, if you get this, you probably are.

(And yes, I know it's old, but it still cracks my ass up.)

Posted by: Sean M. at 02:12 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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What do you do when the house you rent or own becomes associated with a notorious murder? Well, Fox News is here to help!

"My advice is to hang on to the property, keep it in use," said Randall Bell, a real-estate economist who specializes in troubled properties. "You don't want these properties to go vacant because it tends to amplify the problems and curiosity and negative stigmas."

[...]

The California address of the LaBianca house where Charles Manson's "family" killed their last two victims was changed, as was the house where Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman were killed. The addresses were also changed at JonBenet Ramsey's house in Boulder, Colo., and the New York home that inspired the "Amityville Horror" book and movie.

"If you want to change the address, it could be a good thing. But you want to be careful with your timing," Bell said. "You don't want to do it right after the event; it just gives the media more to talk about."

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 01:05 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Julius and Elthel Rosenberg were executed for passing the secrets of the atomic bomb to Communist Russia.  Yes, that was back in the good ol' days when we actually prosecuted, convicted, and executed people who were guilty of treason.  Sadly, we now hold multiculturalism so highly that it usurps the Constitution, making treason just another quaint, old-fashioned law like not allowing women to wear pants. 

Above:  The Rosenbergs prepare for a meeting with V.I. Lenin.

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 02:28 AM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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Flooding in the Midwest is now officially the worst in decades:

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 09:24 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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Barnacles are known as the John Holmes of the invertebrate world with penises reaching up to 10 times their body size. Not all barnacles are equally endowed though. To make the situation more complicated, barnacles are hermaphrodites.

Posted by: Sean M. at 07:17 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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...not so hard times, maybe?  Anyway, both Vegas casinos and the brothels on the outskirts of Vegas are seeing both their revenues drop, though Vegas' drop is much less pronounced, going from about $615 million to about $515 in casino revenues from December to March. The Nevada Brothel Owners' Association says their business may have dropped as much as 45%. 

Seems gas prices are a big cause of that, truckers are a major source of business for brothels (truckers seek services from prostitutes?  GTFO!), and the cost of diesel is leaving them with a little less extra money.  I do think as the cost of fuel continues to be high, places like Vegas, that rely heavily on tourist money are going to feel some serious pain.  Wonder if Harry Reid will decide we indeed can drill our way out of our oil shortages if Vegas starts hurting in a big enough way?

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 12:59 PM | Comments (23) | Add Comment
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The federal government owns 5.4% of the land here in Kentucky. 

Take a look at those figures for Nevada.  Once you add in state lands, it's amazing that there's room for anyone to live in Nevada at all. 

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 04:53 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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You won't find it more plainly put than this:

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 08:59 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Hope you enjoyed your Sunday, and know that you're appreciated and loved.  I stalled posting my Father's Day post because I've been wracking my brain trying come up with some smartass thing to post, like the Mommie Dearest post I did for Mother's Day, and I got nothing. 

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 06:18 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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I don't know what's scarier--the cannibalism or the hippies.



How many Oscars did that win?

Posted by: Sean M. at 10:50 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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As you might expect, blogging will be light for the next week or so. Here's what I'm looking at:



Beats the hell out of flooded Wisconsin (which is experiencing even more rain now.)

Iowa was ridiculous.  We had to detour. 

I had written more stuff about how Allahpundit was wrong about the South Carolina license plate issue but it is lost to me and I have to go do fun things so fuck it.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 06:03 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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Well, we survived.  Worse for wear but the State of Wisconsin will live on.  Here are some fun headlines from the local TV station's website:

Westbound I-94 in Delafield Closed Friday

Fond du Lac Residents: Flooding "ridiculous"

Several Roads Closed Friday in Saukville

Flooding Crosses Several Highways

Flooding Causes Problems For Those Without Insurance (duh)

More Than 200 Volunteers Help Sandbag Beaver Dam River

Gays Mills Officials Ponder Moving City (!)

Maybe kishnevi is right about the Midwest.  This one is pretty bad.  It's never happened before the last few years but the trend is not an exciting one.  I'd still estimate the total damage at less than 2 billion on the high end though. 

We'll see.  Thanks for all the kind words and concern.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 03:41 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Commenter Kishnevi compares living in a hurricane alley to living in the Midwest.  Just for comparison sake, the total cost of all tornadoes in the United States from 1950 - 1994: $19,198,781,343.00

Hurricane Andrew: $26,500,000,000.00
Hurricane Charley: $15,000,000,000.00
Hurricane Ivan:      $14,200,000,000.00

Need I go on?

I'm sure flooding in the Midwest would add to our disaster total but not even on the order of magnitude necessary to catch up to numbers like that.

 

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 08:33 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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Way back in high school, I used to be pretty heavily involved with the Drama Club.  I wasn't a good actor so I spent the majority of my time building stuff and carrying heavy things (the club advisor seemed to equate height with strength).  Anyway, one day my friend Chuck (I could write a novel about this guy) pulled up his staple gun about 3 feet from me and fired it at my fucking face.

Imagine my surprise when I found myself uninjured and with an industrial staple in my mouth.  Well, there was only one thing to do:  I spit that fucker back at him and dramatically wiped my mouth like I'd just eaten a delicious chicken dinner. 

Booya, motherfucker. 

I don't tell you this story to make you think I'm tough but as evidence that I am, in fact, not tough at all.

You see, I've never had a 2" nail driven into my skull but I have a strange suspicion I'd notice it:

George Chandler says he didn't know a 2 1/2-inch nail was driven into his skull until his buddy spotted it stuck through his cap.

Chandler said he felt only a sting.

"It never did really what you call hurt," the Shawnee man said Wednesday on NBC's "Today."

Chandler said his friend Phil Kern was using a nail gun to mount lattice on Chandler's deck when a hose on the powerful tool became caught.

Chandler said he stood up just as Kern tried to free the gun and it discharged. At first, they couldn't locate the nail. But then Kern saw it, he ordered Chandler to sit down while he called 911.

No word yet on whether or not he can bend a golf club with his bare hands.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 09:57 AM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
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That heat sure is the worst...

Maybe you coasties want to come down to Wisconsin and go swimming?

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 02:00 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Shrapnel that will give you salmonella:

Authorities in Connecticut are wondering who stuffed a raw roasting chicken with a pipe bomb and left it on a roadside.

Simsbury police Capt. Matthew Catania says a motorist noticed the chicken Monday morning. He says the bomb was large enough to harm a person if it went off.

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 12:11 PM | Comments (12) | Add Comment
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That's all this is, but still.  Funneh.

Posted by: Sean M. at 07:57 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Tying together my previous posts for the day, a man lives the Moron Lifestyle with an unapproved pet and shows that using a condom does not guarantee safe sex:

A body of a 40-year-old man with a cobra carcass in his head was found on a roadside here Sunday morning.

An preliminary autopsy also found that Wiroj Banlen, 40, was wearing a condom although he was putting on his trousers. No semen was found inside the condom.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 12:03 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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I think I know what these scientists are studying this winter:

Bill Henriksen, the manager of the McMurdo base station, said nearly 16,500 condoms were delivered last month and would be made available, free of charge, to staff throughout the year to avoid the potential embarrassment of having to buy them.

The base only has a skeleton staff through the long winter.

16,500 condoms for about 125 people. That's 132 condoms per person for about two months.  That's nearly three condoms per person per day!  Since it normally takes two to tango, that implies they'll be having sex an average of six times per day per person.

Did they hire their staff from the cast of Eyes Wide Shut or something? 

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 10:52 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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