Chuck Devore needs your money The guy who's running this ad needs to raise $5K more today to meet his July fundraising goals. Obviously he's running against Senator Barbara "Don't call me ma'am because I'm really a bear tranny underneath this pancake makeup" Boxer.
I know you do, but there's a good reason I haven't been able to post that much (other than my employers) or that I'm working all the time.
No, I'm just so fucking pissed off about the current political climate that I'm at a loss for words.
What kind of fucking country do we live in where a legislator can make the factual statement that it is laughable to actually, I don't know, fucking read a bill before you vote on it. Seriously? The idea is laughable to our elite Washingtonian masters?
The entire Constitution of the United States is 4400 words. It is the oldest and shortest written Constitution of any major government in the world. Part of the AWESOME, AWESOMENESS of our system of government is that is was not invasive, complicated or ambiguous.
It was premised on the idea that governments are evil. Evil, but necessary. Because of that they needed to have a few powers to function but all remaining powers were relegated to something that wasn't the Federal Government. Something not covered in the man pages? That's cool, it is assumed that the Feds cannot do whatever fucking thing that is because it wasn't mentioned.
But now, we're writing multi-thousand page healthcare bills and everyone is arguing the merits of its details instead of what really matters. No bill of any nature passed by our government should be longer than the Constitution or require the aid of a professional law-talking-guy(gal) to understand.
This is fucking absurd. Unfortunately, it has become SOP for government (see: Tax Code, TARP, etc, etc, ad nauseum) to produce incomprehensible legislation, allowing it to use any vagueness to destroy or coopt any freedom it finds irritating. I'm fucking tired of it.
So, when I run for President in 2016, I'm going to support a new amendment to the Constitution.
It will read, in its entirety:
No piece of legislation enacted by Congress may surpass in length the Constitution of the United States and this legislation must be comprised of language simple enough to be understood by any person with a high school degree as defined by the mean reading comprehension of outgoing high school seniors.
No more legalese. No more Stephen King novels. Just plain, simple laws that everyone can easily digest. Then we can prevent/reverse this:
I see an innumerable crowd of like and equal men who revolve on themselves without repose, procuring the small and vulgar pleasures with which they fill their souls.
Over these is elevated an immense, tutelary power, which takes sole charge of assuring their enjoyment and of watching over their fate. It is absolute, attentive to detail, regular, provident, and gentle. It would resemble the paternal power if, like that power, it had as its object to prepare men for manhood, but it seeks, to the contrary, to keep them irrevocably fixed in childhood … it provides for their security, foresees and supplies their needs, guides them in their principal affairs…
The sovereign extends its arms about the society as a whole; it covers its surface with a network of petty regulations—complicated, minute, and uniform—through which even the most original minds and the most vigorous souls know not how to make their way… it does not break wills; it softens them, bends them, and directs them; rarely does it force one to act, but it constantly opposes itself to one’s acting on one’s own … it does not tyrannize, it gets in the way: it curtails, it enervates, it extinguishes, it stupefies, and finally reduces each nation to being nothing more than a herd of timid and industrious animals, of which the government is the shepherd.
Not bad for a French guy, eh?
My detractors might ask, "but what if the law being created deals with complicated issues and requires a lot of detailed provisions?"
First, the Constitution deals with what may be the most complicated issue of the human condition: the formation and maintenance of government. Second, if the provisions get complicated enough that 4400 words is too few, the Federal Government probably shouldn't be sticking their fucking nose into the problem in the first place.
1as defined by the mean reading comprehension of outgoing high school seniors
Oh, that's gonna stick it to them. As the liberals make our schools worse, the amount of complexity allowed in bills will diminish. Pretty soon federal government will consist of nothing more than "We take your money! You bend over and grab ankles!"
Posted by: Alice H at July 30, 2009 11:56 AM (qJHYy)
2
There's a method to my madness. Can you imagine them going back to their constituents with that?
Posted by: Moron Pundit at July 30, 2009 11:57 AM (83gRI)
3
Holy shit. I didn't think that I would ever see another post in this series.
I agree with the idea of limiting the length of bills, but I really don't think 4,400 words is quite enough. The Constitution is a broad framework that defines what the government is allowed to do, by definition the specifics of the laws that they pass have to be more detailed than the Constitution.
I think 10,000 words would be a fair limit. That's about 16 pages double spaced, and even if it was the most dense legalese, you should be able to read through it and understand it in an hour. I think that if someone was serious about pushing this and it was put to the states to decide, it would have a serious potential to become an Amendment.
And I swear to god, I'm going to pistol-whip the next motherfucker who says 'shenanigans'.
Posted by: Jeff M at July 30, 2009 02:44 PM (iDq+K)
Metallo!
It's been tough as of late—what, with the constant struggles against Obamacare and Cap and Tax—to Rock out with your cock out (take that, NetNanny!) so I thought I'd offer some Metal, courtesy of our friends from Italy.
Posted by: Moron Pundit at July 28, 2009 06:44 AM (GC5S2)
2
He's got that dance timed perfectly with the music. That is a work of art.
Posted by: Alice H at July 28, 2009 01:05 PM (qJHYy)
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Newsweek - The recession is over! The Economist, Foreign Policy and Foreign Affars - Not so fast bucko!
The Great Recession, which rolled over our financial lives like one of P.J. Keating's giant pavers, is most likely over. Home sales, while still far below the levels of a year ago, have risen for three straight months—a first since 2004. The stock market has rallied 44 percent since March, thanks to renewed optimism and improving earnings from big companies like Goldman Sachs and Apple. In June, seven of the 10 indicators in the Conference Board Leading Economic Index pointed upward, including manufacturing hours worked and unemployment claims. Macroeconomic Advisers, the St. Louis–based consulting firm, says the economy is expanding at a 2.5 percent annual rate in the current quarter. Economic activity "will increase slightly over the remainder of 2009," Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke told Congress.
All that may be true, but we exist in a globalized economy and it appears that the global economy is still verging on collapse - The Economist reports that global shipping is down some horrendous percentage:
Estimates by the World Trade Organization suggest that trade volumes will shrink by around a tenth this year. But recent figures from big economies give reasons to hope that the worst of the slump may now be past. Even in May, the value of trade was nearly a third lower than a year earlier. But the recent awful figures mask the fact that exports and imports have held more or less steady since January.
Foreign Affairs reports that the Asian economies are unlikely to recover soon, driven as they are by exports:
For decades, Asian economies used exports to the West as a means of growth. Now, if they hope to weather the global recession, they will have to enact deep structural changes such as higher wages and increased domestic consumption.
China's fortunes over the past decade are reminiscent of Lucent Technologies in the 1990s. Lucent sold computer equipment to dot-coms. At first, its growth was natural, the result of selling goods to traditional, cash-generating companies. After opportunities with cash-generating customers dried out, it moved to start-ups -- and its growth became slightly artificial. These dot-coms were able to buy Lucent's equipment only by raising money through private equity and equity markets, since their business models didn't factor in the necessity of cash-flow generation.
Funds to buy Lucent's equipment quickly dried up, and its growth should have decelerated or declined. Instead, Lucent offered its own financing to dot-coms by borrowing and lending money on the cheap to finance the purchase of its own equipment. This worked well enough, until it came time to pay back the loans.
The United States, of course, isn't a dot-com. But a great portion of its growth came from borrowing Chinese money to buy Chinese goods, which means that Chinese growth was dependent on that very same borrowing.
Now the United States and the rest of the world is retrenching, corporations are slashing their spending, and consumers are closing their pocket books. This means that the consumption of Chinese goods is on the decline.
...
Much of China's growth over the past decade has come from lending to the United States. The country suffers from real overcapacity. And now growth comes from borrowing -- and hundreds of billion-dollar decisions made on the fly don't inspire a lot of confidence. For example, a nearly completed, 13-story building in Shanghai collapsed in June due to the poor quality of its construction.
This growth will result in a huge pile of bad debt -- as forced lending is bad lending. The list of negative consequences is very long, but the bottom line is simple: There is no miracle in the Chinese miracle growth, and China will pay a price. The only question is when and how much.
So we may have weathered the gust front but the rest of the storm is still to come.
Even Newsweek recognizes this, admitting that the recession may be over but the recovery is going to be long and painful:
To a large degree, the U.S. economy must now cope with an era of lower expectations. Road building isn't a recipe for full employment, green technology won't displace fossil fuels in this decade, the benefits of universal broadband may be overblown, and the dysfunctional health-care system won't shift overnight from a headwind to a tailwind. The recession may be over, but there's likely to be plenty of tough slogging ahead.
Does that mean the smart economy is a waste? Absolutely not. Declaring the stimulus a failure five months after its passage is a little like calling the results of a marathon at the second-mile marker. Virtually all these investments are necessary. They will make the economy and specific industries smarter. They are intelligent economic and political strategies. But they're not sufficient. Large as it is, the stimulus can't fill the hole we've created or bring a series of large industries into the 21st century. Each imperative requires investments far in advance of what even the most free-spending liberal could imagine. Transforming the nation's energy--production-and-transmission system "will take an investment of trillions of dollars over decades," says Dan Arvizu, director of the National Renewable Energy Laboratory in Golden, Colo. "The private sector has to make this happen."
Historically, the economy has kicked into higher gear when a development comes along that can touch every part of the economy, not just particular sectors: the steam engine, electricity, the computer chip, globalization, the Internet, cheap money. By definition, it's almost impossible to know what the next disruptive, discontinuous great leap forward is going to be. On several occasions, Lawrence Summers has remarked that when he was involved in the big economic summit Bill Clinton held after winning the 1992 election, he didn't recall hearing many mentions of the words "the Internet."
Posted by: chad98036 at
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To report or not to report?
On the one hand, it's hella creepy. On the other hand, this is better than a registry as far as letting everyone know the driver's hella creepy.
1
I bet a dollar that was meant to look like "Poo Bear" from a distance.
Posted by: Veeshir at July 27, 2009 01:29 PM (PxtAC)
2
And I'll be glad to take that dollar, because you're totally wrong. The license plate is a reference to a longtime running joke on 4chan and other boards.
Posted by: Alice H at July 27, 2009 05:34 PM (qJHYy)
10
Okay DPUD, take dollars for everyone out of my next paycheck.
And to my banker, don't do anything that might STOP making it possible for anyone deserving PAYMENT.
Posted by: Veeshir at July 27, 2009 05:44 PM (MpYUT)
11
So the question is, do I file a complaint with the DMV (who has confirmed that this is, indeed, a current Colorado plate), or do I let this plate serve as a warning to everyone around him?
Posted by: Alice H at July 27, 2009 06:06 PM (qJHYy)
12
Ok so what is the deal with "pedobear"? Is this something I can Bing at work or would that be something that would send an alarm to security to have me frog-marched out of the building?
Posted by: Enas Yorl at July 27, 2009 06:57 PM (BvNzB)
13
Well, think of what else might come after "pedo".
or alternatively, some like it with an "ae" instead of just the "e".
Posted by: Veeshir at July 27, 2009 07:04 PM (tpb4f)
The Sound of Freedom
It is not my daughter's favorite sound, apparently. If it were, I'd have some FUCKING AWESOME video of the United States Air Force Thunderbirds flying in diamond formation over my house all afternoon.
I guess 18-month-old girls aren't as enamored of the sound of four massive jet engines several hundred feet above their heads as I am.
Wait till she's 3. Took my daughter to her first air show this summer (she turns 3 on Tuesday) and she adored it. She thinks every plane is going to see her "Nana" and when she hears multiple fighter jets at once, she becomes giddy with ecstacy.
'Course, she also tells me in the middle of loud thunderstorms that there's nothing to be afraid of - "it's just noise, Mommy," - and calls fireworks "pretty thunder". I think she may just like loud noises.
Posted by: Ember at July 25, 2009 05:41 PM (LdRAG)
2
personally, from my 13 years in the AF, the Sound of Freedom is a pair of F-4s, but I'm an old guy
Posted by: Tangonine at July 25, 2009 06:40 PM (C8Pcc)
What you hear overhead. as you pray to your god and snuggle your M-16, in response to a combat controller or a FACP calling in an airstrike, regardless of the aircraft. That's the sound of freedom. Been there.
Posted by: Tangonine at July 25, 2009 09:39 PM (C8Pcc)
4
And god love it, I am absolutely absorbed by belonging to a nation of warriors. I count myself fortunate to share the soil of this nation, despite the fking cowardly shtbags. There are so many men/women that stand up for what's right in this country that saying that I'm proud of them is not enough. I love all the patriots. You keep us all strong, and we love you.
Posted by: Tangonine at July 25, 2009 09:45 PM (C8Pcc)
5
My kids hate 'em. But they hate Obama, too, so I'll keep 'em around a while.
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My guess is he had to throw the numbers in because someone else had registered as "Chad". Dude, you could have gone with Pregnant Chad, or Dimpled Chad, or Hanging Chad!
Posted by: mrfixit at July 24, 2009 05:34 AM (hh3TS)
8
Chad, you need to shoot me your email address. DPUD, you need to start shooting me peoples email address as soon as they come on board. Or maybe we just need a welcome packet, heh
Posted by: Alice H at July 24, 2009 11:13 AM (qJHYy)
Your Rights End At My Wallet
I hate to keep stealing from Mike at Cold Fury, but he's been on a blogging role lately. In today's theft... errrrr..... linkage, we have the Gunslinger saying something that I knew but couldn't quite put it in words. The Gunslinger says, Anything that requires the labor of someone else cannot be a universal human right. ..snip... It's just a greedy, selfish Want.
In a nutshell—nothing that demands the labor or sacrifice of another is your right. Bing-fucking-O Gunslinger more: Our Constitutional, Natural Law rights require only that others leave us alone. They require no labor, action, payment, participation or sacrifice of anyone else on our behalf.
Well, mostly. They do require that busy body assholes leave me alone and that's asking a lot, but the point is valid.
So the next time some tool says that "health care is a right", I'll be able to explain exactly and concisely why it's not. It won't change any leftist minds, but they won't have a response so they'll have to shut up about it. And that's about all I hope for anymore.
1 I made a similar point in a post a couple of years ago ("Is Health Care a "Right?"), where I went further and said that forcing another man to work on terms that he can't negotiate is a form of slavery. Then the liberal shouting about me trivializing slavery began. But I still believe that forcing a doctor to treat patients per government specifications, at government prices, because you happen to believe that his services are owed to the less fortunate, is indeed slavery.
Posted by: geoff at July 23, 2009 08:57 PM (6WkcC)
Legal search and seizure, my ass...or his ass, anyway
I can't believe that at no point during all this did anyone - a doctor, a medical tech, a law enforcement officer - step forward and say, "Uh, maybe, just maybe we're crossing a line here."
Clement, 35, who police claim had an outstanding warrant for failing to appear in court in a neighboring city, was handcuffed and taken to a police station where he was strip-searched. No contraband was found, so Clement was taken to Albany Med, where doctors forcibly sedated him with powerful drugs against his will.
Sheriff's investigators did not obtain a search warrant for the procedure, and hospital officials did not require them to produce one. Police and hospital officials considered the matter a "medical emergency."
While Clement was under sedation, a camera was inserted in his rectum, he was forced to vomit and his blood and urine were tested for drugs and alcohol. Scans of his digestive system were performed using X-ray machines, according to hospital records obtained by the Times Union.
1
I see your problem, you obviously didn't realize it happened in NY.
The Constitution doesn't mean a damn thing there.
They use The Living Constitution. It's sorta like the real one except it takes rights away instead of giving them.
I'm surprised he got any money, but I'm not surprised that if he got any it was only $125K (actually, probably 2/3 of $125K after the law talking guy gets his cut).
I would have held out for $millions.
As an aside, I now have a dilemma. Serenity is on SyFy, do I watch it or do I break out the DVD to avoid commercials?
Posted by: Veeshir at July 23, 2009 05:31 PM (cAXTr)
And am I the only one who really hates the change from Sci Fi to SyFy? It's short for science fiction, damnit!
Posted by: Ember at July 23, 2009 06:17 PM (LdRAG)
3And am I the only one who really hates the change from Sci Fi to SyFy?
Dude, I saw SyFy come up on the channel listings while surfing and could not figure out what it was. So. Freaking. Stupid.
Posted by: alexthechick at July 23, 2009 06:19 PM (rSAHt)
4
Yup, epic stupidity. I didn't get into it because I'm way too stream of consciousness, I try to stop it. Which reminds me of this one time....
Just kidding.
What I can't figure out is why they did it. I mean, seriously, why?
All it does is make people wonder how they're supposed to pronounce it.
They could have gotten some cool (and by cool, I mean lame) geek points by changing to the Greek symbols for "Psi" and "Phi". Sure "Phi" is pronounced "fee", but it would still have made more sense than changing it to look like the name of a guy who sells suits.
Posted by: Veeshir at July 23, 2009 06:40 PM (cAXTr)
They could have gotten some cool (and by cool, I mean lame) geek points by changing to the Greek symbols for "Psi" and "Phi".
It definitely would have been better than SyFy. It annoys my nerd sensibilities. And I'm a pretty big nerd.
Posted by: Ember at July 23, 2009 07:05 PM (LdRAG)
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Break out your DVD. And SyFy is one of the dumbest moves ever, with the possible exception of their making playing endless C-movies (because seriously, that shit is too bad to be called a B movie, might even be a D movie).
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The storm made up my mind. It's ugly out and I have DirecTv. Even in bad storms I usually only lose it for a couple minutes. If it's gone for 10 minutes, that's pretty long. It's been out over 20 and it's not even flickering at me. Ugly.
As for this And SyFy is one of the dumbest moves ever, with the possible exception of their making playing endless C-movies
Them's fighting words. I love their movies. I used to read the blog, Sofia something, Sideshow maybe, by the guy who worked on them. He had a blast in the greater, Sofia metropolitan region making the movies. And he met John Rhys Davies.
First of all, they're full of silicon and peroxide, what's not to like?
My favorite one is Pteradactyl. Seriously, it's darn good, I watch it every time.
It has one scene I love.(spoiler alert!!!1!!!) Two of the characters are the hot, stuck up chick and the geeky nerd who keeps staring at her body and $10K each tits. Seriously, they're worth whatever she paid. The hot, stuck up chick is swimming in her underwear in a pond when a pteradactyl attacks. She's going underwater and he's kind of hovering trying to pick her up. After a while, it gives up. She runs back to the rest in her wet underwear and the first one she sees is the geeky dude. He just stares at her body and says something like, "You're so hot" as she's screaming and freaking out trying to explain that a giant freaking dinosaur bird just tried to eat her. After a while, she screams a Howard Dean yearrgh in frustration and runs off yelling, "Don't look at my ass" Which he does. It's also pretty much "campy" on purpose. None of the special forces soldiers' (chuckle) uniforms fits. Not a one of them aims his rifle when he, and she, fires. At one point the "special forces legend" leader has two rifles and is wildly firing both of them from the hip, because he's that good. One of the SF guys looks like me. And I look like a cross between Tim Curry in Clue and Uncle Fester.
My favorite part is the head hot chick, she's a redhead (pretty darn hot too, but she didn't spend $20Gs on her breasteses like hot, stuck up chick) and she's white as a ghost. As she spends plenty of time running around in shorts, in the hot sun. For days. I seriously don't know how she managed it, she's so white she's almost blue.
Sasquatch is pretty good, but I'm not into the Lucy Lui look, so the hot, killer chick doesn't do it for me. Chucacubra is good too, but the hot chick is kinda young, it's sorta creepy leering at her. But it has John Rhys Davies, so that's always cool.
Wow, that was a boom outside. The dog is under the bed. And since he's over a foot high and the bed is under a foot off the ground, it's interesting.
Posted by: Veeshir at July 23, 2009 07:44 PM (LmTkN)
The joy of a good ... uh, "SyFy" original movie is the utter camp and terribleness of it! You cannot tell me that Shark Attack 3: Megaladon was a bad idea.
It was brilliant.
But that's the point of a Sci Fi (I'm rocking it old school, damnit) movie - they're campy and terrible, in that you-can't-resist-the-awful-and-it's-just-so-good kind of way. If you want a good viewing experience, you stick to the original series and miniseries. Or, you know, all the BBC shit they play.
And, since this has become science fiction-nerdy, I've wanted to share this article with someone for a few days ...
Prepare to have your childhood raped
Slow news day. And I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks the move about fifteen seconds in just isn't appropriate for the twelve-and-under crowd, as the dude at Geekologie mentioned it too.
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I can't believe you guys don't remember this from Episode 4 - A New Hope. Vader does this dance to a band of adoring stormtroopers right after killing Obi-Wan on the Death Star.
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I've never heard of him, but he and his band ROCKED FUCKING HARD!!!!
Rest in Rock'N'Roll Heaven, and may you get 72 rockin' sluts who know what the fuck they're doing, if you know what I mean, and I think you do.
Posted by: Sean M. at July 23, 2009 05:04 AM (rLWHv)
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RMT is currently constructing the Kahuku Wind facility located on the island of Oahu in Hawaii. The 30-MW facility will feature 12 wind turbines and will generate enough clean energy to power about 7,700 homes each year. RMT is providing engineering, procurement, and construction of the civil and electrical infrastructure, including roads, crane walks and pads, turbine foundations, tower erection, a 23-kV underground collector system, a 23/46-kV step-up substation, and a 7,000-square-foot operations and maintenance building.
Posted by: Atlantica RMT at January 09, 2011 09:53 PM (DQh4Z)
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I can still turn this into a WTF is wrong with Wisconsin.
WTF is wrong with Wisconsin that someone's barreling down the road in a residential neighborhood in a two ton deathtrap, fast enough to roll it and catch it on fire?
WTF is wrong with Wisconsin that someone can claim to be running to a car to help, while he's doing nothing but videotaping, and nobody calls him on it?
WTF is wrong with Wisconsin that no one thought to bust out a garden hose for several minutes after the fire started?
You're getting inured to the stupidity and insanity, MP.
Posted by: Alice H at July 22, 2009 09:28 AM (qJHYy)
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Ohhhh... I know that song. I heard it on the radio, and by the time they said 'tonight's gonna be a good night' the fifteenth time, I turned the damned radio off. I prefer to sit in silence than hear that stupid shit.
Speaking of relentlessly annoying people who I would prefer to never hear again, Obama finally speaks the truth: Health care reform will bring 'inefficiencies'.
Posted by: Jeff M at July 22, 2009 12:10 AM (iDq+K)
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Um, yeah. I like it. But then again, I usually hear it after I've had a coupla vodka tonics and find myself grinding on somebody on a crowded dance floor. To be honest, the song is just about perfect when you're drunk and grinding on somebody on a dance floor.
Posted by: Gabriel Malor at July 22, 2009 12:26 AM (rWvvO)
3To be honest, the song is just about perfect when you're drunk and grinding on somebody on a dance floor.
*BZZZZZZT*
Sorry, Gabriel, but the answer we were looking for was "The perfect song to be played in an endless loop to punish the anguished souls condemned to suffer an eternity of torment in hell." Thanks for playing, though.
Posted by: Sean M. at July 22, 2009 01:01 AM (rLWHv)
You may or may not know that I do most of my blogging from work and now they've locked down the internet tighter than a jimmy-hat so I can't even comment here.
Lame. All the more reason for me to make some anticipated career changes sooner rather than later. After all, how can I deprive you lovely morons of my wit and charm on a daily basis?
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I am a small man of no talent and precious little inspiration, so humbled am I at the novelty and ingenuity of that which I have just experienced.
I shall perforce return to mundane existence, and hope to one day forget what I have just seen, so that the remainder of mine own accomplishments are not forever left wanting by comparison.
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