Play matchmaker for me

So we've finally decided to trade in hubby's money pit of an Eclipse, and we've decided we're getting me a new-to-me SUV/crossover (yay!) and he'll drive my current Jeep for a while until we get him something new.  We're trying to decide what to get, and since morons are the smartest people in the world, I thought I'd ask youse guys.

Here are my criteria:

1. Near or under $20K
2. Under 40K miles
3. Third row seat, leather interior
4. American or American made, and by that I don't mean American-made by government standards, I mean most or all of the parts are made in America and it's assembled in America.
5. 4WD or AWD, 6-cylinder minimum engine.  Gas mileage is a consideration but takes a back seat to being able to get where I need to get when I need to get there.
6. Not a company that received a government bailout, which rules out Chrysler and GM products.  Yeah, I know I'm buying used so it shouldn't matter, and my mechanic even offered to only buy aftermarket parts, but I want to drive a car whose brand I believe in.

I've really enjoyed my Jeep Cherokee and Grand Cherokee that I've driven over the past 7 years, to give you an idea of what I prefer.  A really rugged minivan would be OK, as long as the $20K price tag included the money to get a custom flame job.

Update: Don't try to sell me your car unless you're 1) willing to take an Eclipse Spyder convertible  that looks great but breaks down like clockwork (to the tune of at least $1K a repair) for trade-in, and b) you're offering financing.  Yeah, we could go to our bank, but I hate legwork.

Posted by: Alice H at 10:07 PM | Comments (14) | Add Comment
Post contains 299 words, total size 2 kb.

I, for one, welcome our new Giant Mystery Blob Overlord

Perhaps, if we demonstrate our obedience, it will eat us last...

It's big, it's black, it's gooey and it may be alive.

[...]

No one in the North Slope towns of Barrow and Wainwright can recall ever seeing anything like it.

Jellyfish and sea birds are getting caught up in the sticky, stinky stuff, which according to one official "has hairy strands on it."

Aaaaand this somehow gets blamed on Sarah Palin in 3...2...1...

Update: In addition to being a squish and a whiny crybaby, now he's stealing my jokes, damnit!

(Of course it's possible that he came up with the joke on his own, but I like to think that undeservedly high-traffic bloggers steal material from me.)

Posted by: Sean M. at 08:46 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 127 words, total size 1 kb.

There is no fucking recession

Not when people are successfully starting pet airlines, there's not.

Posted by: Alice H at 10:26 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 15 words, total size 1 kb.

Skynet Cometh

I seriously need a category to list all the stuff I see like this...

Anyway, here is another totally awesome and absolutely terrifying step toward the automated annihiliation of the human race:

A Maryland company under contract to the Pentagon is working on a steam-powered robot that would fuel itself by gobbling up whatever organic material it can find — grass, wood, old furniture, even dead bodies.

This robot would need us for what exactly? 

An artists rendition:

Moron Pundit earned the honor of being first against the wall.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 03:46 PM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
Post contains 91 words, total size 1 kb.

Yeah, that's fucking creepy

I would think this would be more of a distraction to drivers at a time they need to be paying extra-special attention to treacherous roads.

Vid of the billboard actually pouring blood down the little boy's face after the jump.
more...

Posted by: Alice H at 03:37 PM | Comments (14) | Add Comment
Post contains 47 words, total size 1 kb.

Presented without context

...I can assure you that if I or my friends see you on the subway, your penis will be kicked very hard...

And here I thought the whole thing about New Yorkers being rude and aggressive was just a stereotype.

Posted by: Sean M. at 11:17 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 42 words, total size 1 kb.

(Prematurely) Grumpy old man rant

Okay, so what the hell is the deal with this "Twitter" crap, anyway?  Seriously, I don't get the appeal.  In my day, when you wanted to say something online, you just put up a blog post. And if you didn't have a blog, you could post a comment online. That's the way it was, AND WE LIKED IT!!!

Back then, we had cell phones, sure, but we just used them to, you know, make phone calls to each other.  If we wanted to say something, we actually spoke to one another.  That's the way it was, AND WE LIKED IT!!!

Oh, sure, if any of us were being crushed by tanks or shot or beaten by thugs who were serving a regime that was trying to suppress information, we would have liked to "Tweet" about it, but that was something that people who already had access to the innertubes used, mostly, when they couldn't be bothered to put up a full post and update their blogs.  But, that's the way it was, AND WE LIKED IT!!!

(Seriously, though, what the fuck is the appeal of this Twitter thing?)

(Seriously?  I don't get it.)

Posted by: Sean M. at 02:48 AM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
Post contains 198 words, total size 1 kb.

Happy Independence Day

Enjoy your weekend, all.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 02:07 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 7 words, total size 1 kb.

I know what I'm getting alex for her birthday

And in return, I'll likely be getting a punch in the dick.

Posted by: Sean M. at 05:33 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 21 words, total size 1 kb.

Fried Shrimp and Tengu Milk

Here's your Friday afternoon weirdness.

Whatever you do, just don't fast-forward to 2:18 and watch it from there, it will make absolutely no sense.

Courtesy of IWatchStuff.

Did I mention this probably isn't safe for work?

Update: Fucking hell, it's not Friday yet, is it.

Posted by: Alice H at 03:04 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
Post contains 50 words, total size 1 kb.