October 12, 2010
Sweet, creamy death swept through this small Illinois town Monday, when nine 300,000-gallon storage vats violently burst at the local Snak-Tyme pudding factory, burying hundreds of residents in a rich, smooth tidal wave of horrifying pudding goodness.
The death toll from the lip-smacking tragedy currently stands at 350 and is expected to rise.
"After hearing a series of loud explosions, I looked out the window and saw the great taste of Snak-Tyme engulfing everything in its path," said barber Bill Cangelosi, who barely escaped with his life when his shop was devastated by a lethal dollop of butterscotch.
Oddly, it seems that the entirety of the Democratic congress lives in the same small town. Strange.
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