Apcray, updated below the fold with Stylebook required, possibly mostly but maybe not safe for work pic from the movie.
Well, Amazon came through. it was in the mail.
I haven't seen it since the mid 80s at the latest so I didn't remember the movie so much as remember that I loved it.
I had a girlfriend who "lost" a lot of my favorite stuff when she moved in. It still pisses me off.
It's not quite Megashark vs Giant Octopus, but it's the movie Sci Fi wishes they could make.

The plot is silly, Tawny ran away from her convent with her friend in a crate because of a dream (you learn that in the first 5 minutes) and ended up in a crime-ridden Asian cities with slavers, cutthroats and loose women and then set off through jungles, rivers, swamps, murderous pirates, savages and the worst desert in the world to get a rare butterfly after her father disappears on just that mission
The fight scenes are poorly choreographed and acted, Tawny Kitaen cannot fake cry to save her life and the hero is about as cheesy as cheesy can be.

It would actually be a good Sci Fi movie if not for the R rating.
I'd rate it as definitely above Sasquatch Mountain and Ogre, it's up there with Pteradactyl (which is high praise from me).

But....It's not a TV movie, it's very early Skinemax.
We learn that Tawny can fake having sex as well as, if not better than, Meg Ryan and that she has spectacular breasts.
She doesn't flash them the way every other of the dozens of actresses do. Except for here and there you have to work for it with Tawny, surprisingly enough. Maybe she still had fantasies of being an actress at that time.

The rest of the actresses aren't so reticent.
This movie has one of the highest breast/frame ratios I've ever seen and its hot-butts in thongs/frame ratio is nothing to sneeze at either.

I can also say, without hyperbole, that it has absolutely the greatest chariot race ever filmed. It's absolutely stunning.
I sincerely hope it was based on a Charlton Heston/Hugh Hefner party.
4 or 5 chariots were each pulled around a track by 3 half nekkid women as the half nekkid drivers fought. They actually crashed just like horses would and the chariot would tumble over them.
It was obviously meant to resemble Ben Hur except it was a lot less dusty and hairy and a lot more breasty, assy and leggy.

As good as I remember. It was slow at times with some laugh out loud moments. Well worth the effort if for nothing but the chariot scene.

Three thumbs up.

Posted by: Veeshir at 05:29 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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