I'm not voting for McCain.

You'll be happy to know that I've found the one true Presidential Candidate I can support and his soothing awesomeness has lowered the Moron Pundit Doom Meter to -3.

Come, join me.  Bath in his glory:

I am proud to say that I was born a Negro American Citizen, April 19, 1951 to Lee L. Mercer, Sr and Tommie Mercer. My father and mother are both American Citizens. I am the third son of four sons from that matrimonial union. My mother had an additional son and daughter.  My birthplace was Henderson, Texas, but I was raised in Overton, Texas.

I went to school from the first grade to the nineth grade at ARP Industrial High School, a negro public school and later, to the intergraded High School System at ARP High School, Arp,Texas. In my elementary school years, we competed against international schools academics and we won.

During my high school years I competed in football during my sophomore and junior years. I was awarded all-district second team and all-state second team football honors. Due to a football injury, I was unable to compete in football during my senior year.

Yes.  But I hear you asking, what about his education beyond ARP Industrial High School?  Will he release his transcripts unlike that blasted Light Worker?

As a part of my continuing eduaction, I am making my presidential campaign part of my ROTC Intelligence Academics to record the learnings, doings, and examples of the United States Government as a government consultant, community developer, and financial planner appointed by the United States Federal Congress to record my biography in the United States Government Presidential Election for 2008 from Electronic Surveillance to develop records on the United States Government Presidential Campaign because I am on an academic intelligence hotwire that can not be unhooked by anyone.

I have a doctor degree Phd. as a doctor of laws, medicine ( not practitioner of medicine, i.e. physicians, surgeons), theology, management, engineering and other subjects that are guaranteed by the United States Army in ROTC to be presented to me in a court of Law only.
I will receive my doctor degrees in a court of law only. My final graduation will be in a United States of America’s Court which was ordered by my second ROTC Board and Staff  Janet Reno former U.S. Attorney General, former Chief of Staff of the U.S. Army and Secretary Of  State of The United States General Colin Powell, Sr. and former Secretary of The United States Army Togo West. They will be joining me circumstantially later.

Awesome.  This man is clearly qualified to the nineth degree.

I'm going to indulge my amusement at this man's expense for a while in the extended entry. 

I can't possibly read the whole thing but I have faith that loyal DPUDers will dig through this masterpiece and give me a heads up to their favorite parts. 

(h/t: Dan)

He can has religious credentials?

Also in my biography, that is stalled in a police debriefing, I am a member of the United State Army Military Intelligence Academy Camp Bullis San Antonio Texas at the University of Texas ROTC School of Religion as the Director, the developer of  a new United States Army Military Intelligence Buddhist religion for the United States Army and the U.S. Army Military Intelligence Chaplain in charge.

Can you imagine the sign for that school's campus?  Maybe they could abbreviate it down to USAMIACBSATUTROTCSR. 

On the job of President of the United States:

The United States Federal Congress has encouraged me to want to become President of the United States so that I can do what the President of the United States of America is supposed to do and complete the federal and military government biography and autobiography.

And he really wants to do a good job.

Once, I am elected to the office of President of the United States of America the thing I am going to do for the people is regulate the office of the President of the United States of America right and not wrong.

Will there be tax relief?  Fuckin A:

To prove that you need to pay the American Citizens before I die. The United States of America has been Audited by Eye Spy Community-Military Intelligence (All Three) / United States Army Military Intelligence Academy San Antonio, TX, Washington, DC, Houston, TX by copying every record in U.S. Library of Congress. The U.S. Army Military Intelligence Academy Camp Bullis San Antonio, TX Washington, D.C. Houston, Texas my home address found money to balance the United States of America’s budget and have lots of money let over. The United States Congress awarded the excess money to the American Citizens for income of   $350,000.00 a year to each citizen for almost 100 years through EyeSpy Community-Military Intelligence (All Three) Business and Commerce Intelligence. This will make each citizen In America rich in Business and Commerce National and International.

You hear that?  All three. 

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 12:53 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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