So I'm reading yet another lamentation on the state of our "special relationship" with the UK, and bemoaning how our president has treated our faithful allies so poorly, and you know what I'm thinking?

Fuck the British.

Fuck the Europeans.

Fuck 'em all.

I've lived in Europe since early 2004.  You can't imagine how shitty these people are about us.  For five years I've listened to how stupid my countrymen are, what a bunch of dark-ages christanist racist pigs we are, and how we've got the most psychotic, stupid, fucked-up leader in the history of world leaders.

Well, guess what we did?  After eight years of being told what a bunch of dickheads we are, we elected somebody we thought Europe (and the world) would approve of.

Turns out he's a narcissistic prick who gets off talking about himself who'll let them all be butchered by Islamists or pushed around by resurgent communists who can't tell his ass from a hole in the ground, but at least he's not from Texas.  Whew!

It's time for the rest of the world to grow the fuck up already.  The president of the United States is there to take care of the US, not the rest of the world.  The real problem here is jealousy, but let's be honest with each other:  if you don't want the US throwing its weight around, try beefing up your military instead of squandering your GDP on more giveaway social programs.

If Obama teaches the rest of the world to get its act together and stop counting on the US to wipe their asses for every little thing, then he'll at least have done one thing right for foreign affairs.  It'll suck that he did it so spectacularly poorly, but still, we'll take what victories we can get.

The world loves the UN because it puts a veneer of responsiblity on their venal selfishness.  They hate the US because unlike them we sometimes get involved in other countries directly and lean on them to change shit.  It's so much more comfortable to just pass another anti-Israel resolution and then go to lunch than to get your boots dirty trying to force barbarians to stop raping women and allow due process under law to all citizens.

But we're willing to do that hard work, so long as while we do it we don't have to listen to the rest of the world bitch and moan and bellyache about how we're so stupid and ignorant and we do everything wrong.

Or at least, we were until we elected their A-number-one boyfriend, who they signalled us was just perfect and the dreamiest hunk they've ever seen.

Well, don't worry.  I'm sure he'll still respect them in the morning.

Posted by: plebian at 05:38 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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