WTF is wrong with Pennsylvania?

I get that an urban ghetto kid might see drug deals often enough that he would imitate them at school.  What I don't get is how an eight-year-old gets his hands on 80 dime bags of heroin, and no one misses it.

Chynita Young, 25, of Homewood, was arrested on Thursday, one day after an incident at Turner Elementary School, where students on the playground said a boy was trying to pass out small paper bags that police said were stamp bags of heroin...Police said the child had around 80 bags which had a street value of $800.

Posted by: Alice H at 10:32 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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BAG-Day is here!

So the Uberti I ordered hasn't come in yet, darm Italians. They need a Mussolini to get the gun makers on time.
I went to Vegas last month but there was a problem with my paycheck that week, so the cash I was planning on blowing in Vegas wasn't in Vegas with me. I went to the gun store and what did I see on the consignment rack?


That's a Calico M-951. It's a 9mm carbine made in Bakersfield, CA. That little cylinder below the barrel? That's the spare mag, a 50 rounder. You can see it's bigger brother above the trigger and going back to over the extensible stock. That's a 100 rounder.
I got it early and shot it last week. It took a little while to get working, but once it did I emptied that 100 round mag without a problem.
It has a high funs/hour rate.
Yay BAG-Day!
More below the fold
more...

Posted by: Veeshir at 07:11 AM | Comments (17) | Add Comment
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Presented without context

At first, I was confused by the marketing strategy here. How effective is it to lure people into purchasing a fake (but highly realistic) penis by implying the promise of a vagina?

It should be noted that this was written by a woman. A woman who, presumably, has never met any heterosexual men. Or, at least none who were both horny and intrigued by the rather enticing "promise of a vagina," no matter what the product being sold happens to be.

(I'm also assuming she's never met anyone who works in advertising.)

Posted by: Sean M. at 02:00 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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What to do after your mother is proven right

...and indeed, spending all that time at Steamboat McGoo's place does make you go blind?  Well, I have good news for you, there's going to be a porno mag released for the blind. It's written in Braille and has raised nude pictures, and will sell for £150. 

The publisher says they saw a niche market, I think they're bullshitting,

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 12:47 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Where's Ace?

He has been missing from AoS lately.  Are we going to have to put his face on milk cartons?

Posted by: chad98036 at 01:49 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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A Lesson For The Kids

Try hard in school kids!

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 11:34 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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Hobo juice

That's what needs to be put on each and every one of these bottles.

Posted by: Alice H at 03:57 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Stupid theory time

If I made leaps of illogic the way the left does, I'd theorize that Williams syndrome (and its accompanying mental retardation) being linked to a lack of racial prejudice means that every time some moonbat screams "RRRAAAAACCCIIIISSSSSSTTT!!!1!eleventyone!!!" at a conservative, they're really complimenting their intelligence.  But that would be silly.

Posted by: Alice H at 03:44 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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My God, it's full of funneh!

Heh. "Zero Points of Articulation."

May cause strange magnetic fields, action figure evolution, seeing things filled with stars, and/or more (or it might just sit on your desk doing nothing).

Let the debate begin: Is this the best or worst action figure of all time?

(h/t)

Posted by: Sean M. at 09:50 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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We really need a nationwide airline boycott

First it was checked baggage fees.
Next it was fees for blankets and pillows.

I could live with those.  I don't like them but I could live with them.

Now airlines are considering charging to use the bathroom and a carry-on bag fee.  What's next depressurizing the plane at 35000 feet and charging an oxygen access fee?

Posted by: chad98036 at 01:03 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Biggie Smalls and 2Pac are rolling over in their graves

It's not like I want to encourage musicians who have a beef with one another to get violent (especially when they're terribly, horribly mismatched), but Ice-T is engaging in a Twitter fight? With Aimee Mann? Really?

The modern world is rapidly devolving into some kind of parody of real life, and I'm afraid we're all just along for the ride.

(Oh, and 2Pac is probably rolling over in his grave, but it would probably be kind of tough for Biggie to do so.)

(Because he was morbidly obese.)

Posted by: Sean M. at 01:09 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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There he sat all in poor shape

...because his fart fetish session turned to rape.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 10:55 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Tom Sizemore is weeping

I had guessed that maybe the use of one was illegal, but I had no idea that the sale would be too.

Posted by: Alice H at 05:57 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Target practice

Good for when you need to take out a whole flock of hippies cruising around on their Segways.



(h/t The Firearm Blog)

Posted by: Alice H at 02:02 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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This is why my seven-year-old doesn't get to drive my car

This would be more accurate if they were driving as fast as the vehicle would go.  Probably more fun to watch, too, especially if you pretend that the blood and guts from the 'stunt driver' is no more real than in GTA and imagine driving back and forth through it to see your tire tracks.  Via Gizmodo.

Posted by: Alice H at 01:15 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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BAG-Day next week.

Buy a Gun Day is next week.
I'll be going to the DC Tax Day Tea Party so I'll post early. Hopefully my gun(s) won't be the only one(s). It'll be all lonely.
Email pics and what you want to be called to veeshir at the hotmail place.
If you can't get a gun, get some ammo and play along.

Posted by: Veeshir at 12:38 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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Good stuff to know - What to do if you are the first person to make contact with an alien

Humping it's leg in an attempt to assert dominance is not an option

Posted by: chad98036 at 07:05 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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My workspace isn't *quite* that messy

The sole purpose of white trash's existence is to make the rest of us feel better about ourselves.

Posted by: Alice H at 09:14 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Glenn Beck doesn't want you to have this job (but I do)

Infiltration of the enemy camp

The progressive movement has gained extraordinary momentum over the last two years. (yes, that is why it has lost two governorships and Teddy Kennedy's Senate seat) We have begun to overturn the destructive polices of the Bush era, (Like economic growth and national security) taken major steps towards building a green economy, (commit fraud) and just recently passed a historic health care reform package. (Legislation that is so popular that it may hand control of the House and Senate back to the GOP and has President Obama buried underwater in all the recent polls)

However, far right extremists like Sarah Palin and Glenn Beck continue to use fear tactics (known as telling the truth) to derail progress. At such a critical time we cannot let them and other right wing zealots overturn the progress that has been made or block the progress that is left to come. (After all America hasn't been completely destroyed yet)

This summer, we are taking to the streets and going door-to-door in 18 cities across the country to activate our communities and take this country back, one person at a time. (Following the Charlie Manson model of community organizing)

If you are looking for a job this summer that is going make a huge impact at this critical moment in our country's history, tackling issues like protecting human rights, fighting to protect our civil rights and liberties, ending global poverty, and working toward a better America, then call us NOW!

To apply, call Caleb at 877-355-4562 or visit our website www.grassrootscampaigns.com

Don’t let Glenn Beck win. Apply today.

Grassroots Campaigns is currently interviewing candidates nationwide for Canvass Director and Assistant Director positions. If you are interested, please email your resume and cover letter to jobs@grassrootscampaigns.com or visit our website www.grassrootscampaigns.com and you can apply online.

Positions available in Washington, D.C., New York, NY, Boston, MA, Philadelphia, PA, Columbus, OH, Chicago, IL, Minneapolis, MN, St. Louis, MO, Denver, CO, Austin, TX Seattle, WA, Portland, OR and Sacramento, San Francisco, Berkeley, Santa Cruz, Los Angeles, Pasadena and San Diego, CA.

Grassroots Campaigns past and current clients include: Amnesty International, the American Civil Liberties Union, the League of Conservation Voters, Planned Parenthood Action Fund, Equality California, the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, the Democratic National Committee, MoveOn.org Political Action, RePower America, Working America, Common Cause, and the Center for American Progress.

• Location: Seattle
• Compensation: $1200-2200/mo
• This is at a non-profit organization.
• Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
• Phone calls about this job are ok.
• Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

PostingID: 1678980143

Sounds like an ACORN front to me. I'm not suggesting that we attempt to disrupt this recruitment drive but there is nothing to say that we can't all submit resumes and then sue when we are discriminated against.

Posted by: chad98036 at 11:33 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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I have a theory

And that theory is, men who harass gays by saying things like "He has a mangina!" in front of large crowds are doing so to cover up their own poorly concealed struggles with the love of the cock.

I mean really, doesn't this dude set off your gaydar?



So why am I blogging about this now?  The case against closet homasecksul Paul Crouch, Jr has been settled - hopefully for something approaching the $2.5 million asked in the suit. 

(Yes, I'm aware that the harassment is more likely because Junior's daddy had an extramarital affair with the plaintiff - but they say that that queer affliction can rub off on children if they're even in the same room with a big bad homasecksul, so it's likely that Junior caught it.)

Posted by: Alice H at 02:02 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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