Saturday Stupid

The Grateful Dead, MST3K style:

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 12:00 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Texas Morons: Don't be morons.

If you are anywhere near Galveston, get the fuck out.

Last time a storm like this direct-hit Galveston, it was not pretty*:

The hurricane caused great loss of life with the estimated death toll between 6,000 and 12,000 individuals;^[2] the number most cited in official reports is 8,000, giving the storm the third-highest number of casualties of any Atlantic hurricane, after the Great Hurricane of 1780 and 1998’s Hurricane Mitch. The Galveston Hurricane of 1900 is to date the deadliest natural disaster ever to strike the United States. By contrast, the second-deadliest storm to strike the United States, the 1928 Okeechobee Hurricane, caused approximately 2,500 deaths, and the deadliest storm of recent times, Hurricane Katrina, claimed the lives of approximately 1,800 people.

The news says many are still refusing to leave.  I'm not sure I, a midwesterner, can understand not fleeing the target of a category 4 hurricane but I suppose it must be similar to watching TV while the Tornado sirens are going off.  Regardless, if you are anywhere near Galveston it is time to leave.  This one is serious as shown by the pictures in the first link.  We really don't need to break the fatality record.

* - I'm not entirely certain that was the last time a Cat-4 hurricane hit Galveston directly but I have no evidence to the contrary.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 02:48 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Hugo Chavez Loves the Cock*

Looks like the Crazy Cock Tzar from Caracas isn't done being batshit crazy:

Chavez ordered the U.S. ambassador to leave Venezuela within 72 hours on Thursday, accusing the diplomat of conspiring against his government and saying he would also withdraw his own envoy from Washington immediately.

Chavez made the move in solidarity with Bolivia after his Andean ally expelled the U.S. diplomat there, accusing him of aiding violent protests. He said a new American ambassador will not be welcome in Caracas "until there's a U.S. government that respects the people of Latin America," suggesting that diplomatic relations will be scaled back until President Bush leaves the White House.

"They're trying to do here what they were doing in Bolivia," Chavez said, accusing Washington of trying to oust him.

"That's enough ... from you, Yankees," Chavez said, using an expletive. Waving his fists in the air, he added: "I hold the government of the United States responsible for being behind all the conspiracies against our nations!"

Holding up a watch to check the time, Chavez declared: "From this moment, the Yankee ambassador in Caracas has 72 hours to leave Venezuela!" He told his foreign minister to recall Venezuela's ambassador to Washington, Bernardo Alvarez, "before they kick him out of there."

He then whipped out a picture of Fidel Castro and started fondling himself on the podium.

I've got news for you Jugo:  The United States and its citizens don't give a shit about Bolivia or Venezuela.  The only time we actually remember you exist is when you start importing weapons or shouting about how we are interfering in your shitty little country.  Inevitably, the result of you instigating a fight is an end to your petty dictatorship and you at the end of a rope. 

Maybe you should just stop shooting your mouth off.  I have an idea, take one of the myriad cocks in your ass and put it in your mouth.  Or, as the king of Spain said, "por que no te callas?"

* Loves it. Can't get enough.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 09:17 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Amazon.com Rawks!

Amazon.com has agreed to sell U.S. wine on their website. Sweet.

Quick! Someone call Jeff Bezos and put in the request for Val-U-Rite vodka and bacon-flavored vodka.

Posted by: conservativebelle at 11:18 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Job interview in DC Friday, so I'll be MIA for a bit

I just realized today that I will be flying to Washington, DC on 9/11.  Yikes. 

On the up side, it turns out that the person who formerly held the job I am interviewing for and I are following each other on Twitter.  She called her boss today and told notified her that the two of us were acquaintances. 

Fingers crossed.  I'll still be on Twitter, in case you're interested, but I'm not taking the computer.  And no, I don't know how I'll handle being without it so long. 

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 12:07 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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First Worf

Inspired by this.  If you're an Ace fan, you'll get it.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 10:32 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Tales from State Government!

Well, the hammer came down across our department today.  No internet usage unless you are on your 30-minute lunch or one of your two 15-minute breaks. 

So that means that throughout most of 12-hour workday you'll have to do without me. 

Try to keep the wailing and gnashing of teeth to a minimum.  There's Val-u-Rite vodka in the freezer.

P.S. - I'm having an interview for a media position with a prominent conservative organization in DC later this week.  Wish me luck.  Needless to say, I didn't go to school for 7 years to be where I'm at now.  Haha.

Update: I'm in Lexington, KY, but I want back in DC.  It's my city, 90% Democratic or not.

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 07:18 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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Pimpin' Mah Blahg (again)

As I recall one of the reasons DPUD invited me to guest blog on his crap blog was to add a little female nuance. Well, that and he digs how I make mincemeat of MSNBC's David "I need my binky" Shuster. Anyway, he noticed that I launched another blog site - Belle's Best - and he told me I could share it with y'all.

Why walk away from such a grand opportunity to reach such an inebriated a diverse audience of readers morons? Besides, who knows when you might need to know the finer points on how to crush nuts, right?

Posted by: conservativebelle at 12:00 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Presented without context

The vagina is less elastic and more vulnerable during vigorous sexual activities. In the three years since your last long-term partnership came to an end it is likely that your vagina has shrunk slightly and may be more sensitive.

Um, thanks for the heads-up, Doc.  But I've got to say that I'm a little dubious about your medical judgment, seeing as how I'm obviously, you know, a man. Well, last time I checked, anyway. Hold on a second...

...Yep. Still a dude.  Maybe you have me confused with this chick.  If that's the case, you should probably see an optometrist.

Posted by: Sean M. at 02:35 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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Finally, a bumper sticker anyone can agree with

If I hadn't bought the official McCain-Palin bumper stickers already, I'd consider getting this instead:

Nice.  And since they're selling them for $5.49 apiece, they've probably made my annual salary in the past week. 

(h/t)

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 03:58 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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A New World

Is it just me, or did the Palin speech completely transform the entire conservative movement in one day?  Already, I feel a completely renewed energy from bloggers (like Ace, Allah, Jim Treacher, the guys at Protein Wisdom,  to name a few) who basically dragged me through the last election cycle. 

It felt like we were all just going through the motions, in a death march to our inevitible slaughter in November.  Now it feels like we're marching into battle and with the vigor of people who think they can win!

Sure, people like Allah are feeling negative but that's what electrons do.  It's their nature.

All I know is that my usual rounds through the blogosphere have been very fun the last few days, a feeling I didn't realize I had missed so much since 2004.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 04:30 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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It's got a good beat and you can dance to it

This cracks my ass up for some reason.

Posted by: Sean M. at 12:54 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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Used first generation iPhones hot item

The reason is that no one has found a reliable way to unlock the iPhone 3G, which means you're stuck using the two year AT&T plan, exclusive to iPhone.  The old model is relatively easy to unlock, you can use any carrier that way, and tap into free wi-fi hotspots.  There's an industry popping up around tracking down used phones to resell.  They're also a hot item on eBay.

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 12:48 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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A special message from It's Vintage, Mom

It takes up to 10 minutes for my mom to write a text.  Technology isn't her forte.  However, my evangelical, straight-laced mother just took the time to text me and say "I figure Obama's thinking 'oh shit' right about now."

Either that, or my dad stole her phone...which probably seems more likely now that I think about it.

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 11:01 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Because I'm a Giver

I bring you the greatest ad campaign in the history of media.* 

*-May not be safe for work depending on where you work.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 10:51 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Holy Frak!

This is just uncanny.

So say we all.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 10:38 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Ditka + discount liquor store = moderately amusing

Posted by: Sean M. at 01:24 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Home-from-vacation Update!

I know, I know, I missed you, too!  Ha.

Morning flight with one of the neediest passengers ever to fly commercial air?  Check.

Mini-nap?  Check

10-hour, 4:30pm to 2:30am shift at the most mind-numbing job ever followed by an 8am-8pm shift on Wednesday?  Ughhhh......Definitely not check. 

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 02:36 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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This is my VP (and oh by the way, her daughter is pregnant).

I've been watching the media react to the news of Palin's announcement that her teenage daughter, Bristol is pregnant. A common theme seems to be "why didn't this news come out sooner?" I've watched reactions on CNN, ABC and Fox News. So in response to that ridiculously redundant question being asked, I offer these thoughts.

What did you expect Senator McCain to do at his press conference where he announced Governor Palin as his running mate? "Hello. Please welcome my selection for Vice-President, Governor Sarah Palin. And oh by the way, her 17-year old daughter behind her holding the baby is pregnant. And for the record, the baby she's holding is her brother not her son. Her husband had a DUI 20+ years ago. Her oldest son lost his virginity already. Her cousin twice removed is a transvestite. She doesn't floss every day. She sometimes cheats at card games too. And yes, we vetted her. Governor Palin has a long record of public service and courage..." Come on. It is all so absurd and irrelevant. [Yes, I embellished.]

He made the announcement on Friday and the news of the pregnancy came out on Monday. Yes, McCain knew. Yes, she was vetted. No, the media doesn't have an obligation to continue this story on the grounds that they weren't notified on the day of the announcement. Should the media be notified every time Palin changes a poopy diaper too? Well, they probably think they should be told that so they can determine if she's got proper parenting skills. Whatever.

I'll be more interested when the MSM and bloggers have the integrity to deal with the political issues and ideological differences between the political tickets.

Speaking of comparing candidates, I caught this exchange on CNN last night and Ed Morrissey of Hot Air did too. I watched Senator Obama being asked about his executive experience versus Palin's by Anderson Cooper. Obama thinks that being a candidate of a large campaign gives him the executive experience he needs. Really, he said that. Rich, huh?

Posted by: conservativebelle at 11:09 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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