Scenes from a Hyde Park relationship

Michelle Obama:  Barack, when are you gonna propose already?

The Obamessiah:  Well, I'd love to, honey.  It's just that marriage is such an outdated institution that it's hard for me to want to perpetuate the myth that it still matters.

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Nice work if you can get it

Hmmmm...there sure is a lot of manic giggling going on there for a company that makes envelopes.

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A nation of stoners

A recent survey says that 42% of Americans have smoked up at least once, and 20% have tried cocaine.  We're also near the top when it comes to having tried alcohol or tobacco.  New Zealand was the only other nation that came close to us in pot use, in the Netherlands, only about 20% had tried marijuana. 

The article offers some possible explanations for why we experiment with substances more than other nations, but to me the affluence explanation makes the most sense, and as long as said stoners don't do anything undermine that affluence(Yeah, I'm looking at you, the doofus with the throwback peace sign button and Che shirt and your hippie retread parents), go crazy.

Obligatory,

more...

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Morons on the map

Click here for an interactive map that shows which states are keeping the good people at Val-U-Rite in business.  It's from some newspaper in Wisconsin, which is apparently our most flammable state.

(Oh, yeah, there's also a slideshow on the "physical toll" of alcohol abuse, but that's kind of a downer.)

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The 20 Best Movie Endings of All Time

The Times has the list.  Personally, I'm offended that Rat Race didn't make the cut.  I mean, a concert with the Smash Mouth?!?!  What more could you want?

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Sign of the times

Well, ladies, Hillary may not have become the first female candidate for President from either of the major parties, but that doesn't mean there aren't other, uh, important victories for feminism happening:

In the battle of the sexes, women's magazine editor Cynthia Good said this was a skirmish she had to fight.

Across Atlanta they stood, orange signs with black letters that read "Men At Work" or "Men Working Ahead."

Sometimes, the signs stood next to women working alongside the men.

Good demanded Atlanta officials remove the signs and last week, Atlanta Public Works Commissioner Joe Basista agreed.

Score one for gender equality, Good said Wednesday.

"They get it," Good said about the city in a telephone interview.

Public Works officials are replacing 50 "Men Working" with signs that say "Workers Ahead." It will cost $22 to cover over some of the old signs and $144 to buy new signs, said Public Works spokeswoman Valerie Bell-Smith said.

If there's a glass ceiling for road crews, consider it shattered, sisters!

Good, founding editor of Atlanta-based PINK Magazine, a publication that focuses on professional women, said she's not stopping with Atlanta.

Of course not.

"We're calling on the rest of the nation to follow suit and make a statement that we will not accept these subtle forms of discrimination," said Good, 48.

Because, hey, what a super pressing issue for our country.

If you click on the link, you'll see that Good got the ball rolling by vandalizing the signs by spray painting the letters "WO" in front of the offending words. There's nothing about whether or not she was prosecuted for that, but since the city caved, I'm guessing she wasn't.  What a surprise.

By the way, members of the 1980s One-Hit-Wonder band Men At Work were not available for comment.  Mainly because nobody knows where the hell to find them.

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It's Wednesday

And where I live, that means it's...



As you can see, they're very strict about sorting recyclables from trash around here.

On a completely unrelated note, does anybody want to guess what I had for breakfast?

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Guess what Grandma and Grandpa are up to

If you said needlepoint and fishing, guess again:

More 70-year-olds are having good sex more often, Swedish researchers said on Tuesday in a finding bound to bring a smile to many an aging baby boomer.

They found 70-year-olds of both sexes are having more sex than they did 30 years ago, and many more women report being satisfied with their sex lives.

"Attitudes are more open-minded and positive today, at least in the elderly themselves," said Nils Beckman of the University of Gothenburg in Sweden, whose study appears in the British Medical Journal.

Hey, good for them. Horrifying for the rest of us, sure, but good for them.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go and stab my brain with a Q-tip.

Posted by: Sean M. at 08:19 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Go ahead, call me a sissy

The Sporting News has a list of movies that make men cry.  Of course, we all know that real men don't cry, but I'm a beta male, and therefore not a real man.  A lot of the movies seem to be sports-oriented, which isn't surprising given the source.  Of the three movies* that have made me tear up some, only one made the list:

13. Big Fish

Again, fathers and sons. For me, it's the ending, seeing all of the fantastic characters of this one man's life come to see him off as he goes into the next life. At least, that's the story his son tells. I love the funeral scene, though, where all of the obvious inspirations of his life's stories come to pay their respects. Also, the scene where Alison Lohman's young wife gets the letter that he died and breaks down into hysterical sobs always gets me a bit because of the power of her performance. By the way, Alison Lohman, totally underrated both as an actress and for her hotness. She's sneaky good and sneaky hot.

It's one of my favorite movies, and I always forget about it. 

*In case you were wondering, the other two are Juno and AI: Artificial Intelligence. 

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 04:16 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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Because I can't think of anything to write about today

Nickelback has signed a deal with Live Nation.  It's good to know that I can continue ignoring them for the foreseeable future. 

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Quote of the Day

From one of my favorite founding fathers. 

The great fish swallow up the small and he who is most strenuous for the rights of the people, when vested with power, is eager after the prerogatives of government.  You tell me of degrees of perfection to which human nature is capable of arriving, and I believe it, but at the same time lament that our admiration should arise from the scarcity of the instances. - Abigail Adams

Hey, isn't Obama the most strenous for the rights of the people?

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 01:00 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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It's easy to transition form one cult of personality to another

Allahpundit notes that Libertarians are jumping on board the Obamessiah express. 

I'm not too surprised about this.  A few of my friends are Paulbots, and when I asked who they would be voting for in the fall now that their Chosen One was out of the race, most of them said Obama. 

I guess it's because most people who call themselves Libertarians* do so because that's the "trendy" way to be anti-war when you're youthful and idealistic.  I would presume that if Hillary! had won, and had the same position as Obama has regarding Iraq, few would be flocking to her.

*I'm not talking about kishnevi or any of our regulars.

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 08:09 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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Well, that didn't take long

About a day or two ago, it was revealed that Madame Tussaud's in Berlin would be displaying a wax figure of Hitler, a model of him in his bunker during his last days.  The wax Führer didn't even get a chance to take his own head off, on the first day of display, a German man pushed through security and the barrier and ripped off Hitler's head.  According to police reports, the man then did the Ickey Shuffle and spiked the Der Führer's noggin before being being detained by security.

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The five most underrated movies I've ever seen

Since everyone is too busy atoning for the many, many sins of George W. Bush's AmeriKKKa, I thought I'd just throw out my list of movies I think don't get the credit they deserve (in no particular order). 

1.  Husbands and Wives - Mainly because of this scene, which fills me with unease every time I see it. 

2.  The House of Yes - Parker Posey at her most bizarre.  (I'd say it's the best comedy about incest ever, but I think that's a very small category.)

3.  Spellbound - One of Hitchcock's best.  Salvador Dali did all the dream sequences in this film. 

4.  The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys - The scene where Kieran Culkin's character is trying to care for the dog that'd been hit by a car is great.  And the comic book sequences by the creator of Spawn were good, too.  Here's the trailer. 

5.  Jackie Brown - Okay, maybe not underrated completely, but it is the most underrated of Tarantino's films, and it's always been my favorite. 

Honorable Mention:  Dirty Work - "There's the Saigon whore that bit off my nose!"

Add yours in the comments if you feel like it.  Or don't.  I don't freakin' care.

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 01:39 PM | Comments (18) | Add Comment
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Another quiz for Morons

Normally, when you score 100% on a quiz, it's something to be proud of, but this one has me a little worried.

Cheers!

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ZzzzzzzzOH!

Seeing as how I'm a miserable bastard who sleeps alone just about every night, I don't think this is going to be a problem for me:

Misunderstood and under-recognized, it is only recently that sleep disorders involving sex have received proper attention. These conditions cause the sleeper — and any partner — distress, and they can have legal ramifications.

Only recently? Ray Smuckles was talking about this five years ago, and he's a cartoon cat.

All kidding aside, it's a pretty interesting article.

(Via Fark.)

Posted by: Sean M. at 12:04 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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God is moving stars for the Obamessiah

Well, it's hard to argue with this logic:

In May, seven astrologers at the United Astrology Conference in Denver predicted that Sen. Barack Obama, D-Ill.would win the White House in November, citing Saturn's opposition to Uranus on Election Day as a celestial occurrence that pits a stodgy planet against one of rebellion, resulting in transformation and social upheaval.

Hope! Change! Miss Cleo!

(h/t)

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 07:46 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Which Case Defines Your Culture?

In Texas, a grand jury declines prosecuting a man who shot and killed two robbers fleeing his neighbor’s house.

 

In Belgium, a couple murdered their spouses in 2001 to collect the insurance money and run away together.  The man was sentenced to 20 years, but released last month.  The woman?  Sentenced to 15 and released last year.  (Here’s the link, but it’s in French.  Sorry.)

 

I suppose which culture you feel more comfortable in depends on who you plan to kill.

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When two bathrooms just aren't enough

I'm not sure why, but something tells me we should probably do our best to keep Ace from finding out about this:

A Thai school has built a "transvestite toilet" after 200 students said they considered themselves to be transgenger.

They have two hundred tranny students at the one school? Is there something in the water?

The Kampang School has school unveiled a lavatory designated by a unique sign – a human figure split in half – part man in blue and part woman in red. Below it are the words "Transvestite Toilet."

[...]

"These students want to be able to go in peace without fear of being watched, laughed at or groped," said school director Sitisak Sumontha. Transgenders who opted to use female lavatories made some of the other students uncomfortable, and those who chose the men's room often were harassed, he said.

"They don't have problems with transvestites but going to the same private area, like a toilet, makes them uneasy," he said. "The transvestite kids may behave even more effeminately than the girls do, but their anatomy is still like that of a boy."

You know, we all went through some awkward shit back during our high school years, but I think it's probably pretty safe to say that none of us went through anything nearly that weird.

Well, except for Moron Pundit, anyway.

Posted by: Sean M. at 02:52 AM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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It's Canada Day, eh

Which is like their version of the Fourth of July. But they hold it on the First of July. And it has fewer fireworks displays and more maple syrup, probably.

Anyway, some Canuckian chauvanist offers up some cool facts about our neighbors in the Great White North over at Cracked.com, while conveniently tiptoeing around the whole Celine Dion thing. A sample:

Canada is a constitutional monarchy, which technically means we have to obey the Queen if she orders us to do something. It’s mainly a symbolic thing however, as she rarely exercises the privilege - the last time being in 1978 when she ordered us to execute Gordon Lightfoot.

Heh. Gordon Lightfoot. Always comedy gold.

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