Dear Cancer

Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you for eternity with a neutron bomb shoved up your uncircumcised cocktruck. Fuck you for all you have wrought. Fuck you for damaging too many innocent lives. And fuck you for trying to take my mom and my best friend's two year old daughter.

Oh, and fuck you for thinking you could wash us away like a disease at the dick clinic in a college town. Fuck you for thinking the people I know and love won't go down without a fight. Fuck you for thinking we would just roll over. And fuck you, just because I feel like saying it.

You thought you had an easy mark, didn't you? You thought you had an easy victory, didn't you? You thought we would melt like a pulled pork sandwich in the sun, didn't you? Well, guess what, you fuckingly fucked up fuckjacket? You fucking failed. You fucking have fallen onto my fuckchart of fury for this, and you will not get anybody I know without the fight of YOUR fucking life.

So get fucked, cancer. Get fucked with a Sticky Bismarck along the way.

Posted by: eddiebear at 12:38 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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Opportunity or plan?

Capt Ed looks at this article at the WSJ about Karzai saying he might have to side with the Taliban and blames it on Obama.
I agree but I disagree.
Quoth Capt Ed
Whatever we’re doing in Afghanistan doesn’t appear to be working,

He goes on (and on and...bzzzz what was I saying?) about how we're screwing things up in our diplomacy.

Yes, but not in the way he means.
What we're seeing is a budding dictator, that Karzai's big whine is that he wants to take election monitoring away from the UN should be the first clue.

As to his Taliban threat, that's bullshit and he knows it. The Taliban will be his ally if he institutes sharia law and that's about it.
They're uninterested in anything else, they're true believers not realpolitik players. They'll take weapons from anybody, but they won't share power with anybody who doesn't execute women for showing a little wrist.

So the way I agree is that this is most likely a result of Obama's "diplomacy", but not our Afghan diplomacy.

It's a reaction to how Obama's reacted to every political problem in the world, he's sided with every dictator or budding dictator from Iran to Gaza to Honduras and who can forget his Grand Apology Tour where he apologized to various kings and sultans for evil America?

Karzai just sees the opportunity to become a dictator with the Great Satan's blessing.

I hope our generals are disabusing him of any notions of becoming *Al-Presidente for Life


*I know, that's Arab. Shut up. It was funny.

Posted by: Veeshir at 01:54 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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In which I am more of a bitch than usual

I must say, I find it rather freaking hilarious to hear the woe and lamentation about Westboro (may the meteors smite them) being awarded costs after winning the appeal by many of the same people who support a loser pays system of civil litigation.  Welcome to the consequences of your position.

MASSIVE DISCLAIMER:  I work in the legal field, plaintiff side personal injury.  Of course I have a financial incentive to be against loser pays.  I think the three people who read this know that but still.  FURTHER MASSIVE DISCLAIMER:  These opinions are my own and in no possible way reflect those of my employer or, hell, anyone else who posts here. 

When people discuss loser pays, I am always struck by the naivete that presumes that justice always wins out.  Sure, juries sometimes award huge verdicts for stupid cases.  But juries also do incredibly insane things like finding a driver who ran a stop light to be not liable for the accident.  Do people really and truly want the loser in that situation to pay?  Really?  People need to understand the consequences of their positions.  If loser pays gets put into place, every single solitary case will go to trial.  Every.  Damn.  One.  If you're the defendant, why not?  If it's an obvious case you're stuck with the costs anyway.  You might as well roll the dice and see if you can't get the jury to do something crazy.  Then you stick the plaintiff with the appellate costs and another 2 years of waiting for recovery.  If you're the plaintiff, you might as well bring that insane case.  If you win, it's not going to cost you a dime.  If you lose, well, then you'll tie it up in appeals for years.  So you have to pay the attorney fees.  Bankruptcy will take care of that.

See, I keep hearing that loser pays will somehow magically reduce the number of lawsuits filed.  Take it from someone who actually works in that field, it won't work out like that.  Most people who sue want a pound of flesh.  They'll take money but what they really want is for someone to pay.  That emotional drive isn't susceptible to economic rationality. 

I'm actually not terribly against loser pays.  I do respect those who understand and accept the reality of what that means.  I reserve the right to point and laugh at those who are all shocked and horrified when it results in costs being taxed against someone the person likes.  Either accept the consequences or don't hold the position.  To paraphrase Dorothy Sayers, a principle is only a principle once it kills someone. 

Westboro won the appeal.  Under the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure, those ratbastards are entitled to be taxed certain costs.  If that's so horrifying, think about the consequences if loser pays was in play and the entire attorney fees were being paid.  If you don't like that?  I suggest you reconsider your position.

Posted by: alexthechick at 10:48 AM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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An Open Letter To Despair

The last few weeks, some unpleasant developments have hit my real world life, my family, and my country. And while I am worried and wish for the best, I have come to realize that while these developments may try to make me curl up, despair, and become a sniveling puss bag of pussiness and pansy, I have made my decision. I have made my choice. And I wish to tell the forces of darkness, despair, hopelessness, and the tyranny of the self-inflicted weakness the following. But first...
*lights Opus X Cigar*
*Downs bottle of Makers Mark*
*Vomits*
*Adjusts tie*:
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Posted by: eddiebear at 11:10 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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David Brooks, Obama Sycophant Extraordinaire

David Brooks' latest love letter to Obama was filled with such sloppy wet kisses that at least two commentators think he's trying to apply for an administration gig.  So if you see the position of "Czar of Servile Flattery" open up, you'll know who's got the inside track.

Brooks' main thrust is that Obama isn't the pinko that the righties think he is, nor is he the sell-out that the hard Left thinks he is.  The Gospel according to David says that Obama's a left-center President.  Of course, Brooks is wrong.  Obama has always been a Leftist.  He grew up a Leftist, he campaigned mostly as a Leftist, and he's doing his damnedest to govern as Left as he possibly can.

Before the election, I argued that Obama was a neo-Fabian socialist.  Fabian socialism is defined at least in part by its tactics of incrementalism, attrition, and misdirection.  Using the working thesis that Obama is an incrementalist (a "progressive" even), the lack of complete sovietization of our economy shouldn't count against me. Nothing that has occurred during Obama's time in office has dissuaded me from this assessment. 
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Dear Andrew Sullivan: You're a Fucking Douchebag

Dear Andrew Sullivan,

You quoted (your way of agreeing, generally) , March 8th, 2010:

In the wake of last week's shooting, James Joyner begs:

"Can we please stop with the political name-calling whenever one of these nuts goes off?

Look, we’re a big country. There are over 300 million of us. Almost everyone holds a position or two that’s way off the charts and a whole lot of people believe in 9/11 Trutherism, black helicopters, and all the rest. Less than a handful of those people are out trying to kill people. However stupid or loathesome a political view may be, the fact that some nut also holds it adds nothing to the counter-argument.

Ohhhhhhhh fuuuuuuuuuuuck you, you hypocritical son of a bitch.

September 24th, 2009 in regards to the "Fed" hanging:

From this profile of the cancer survivor and volunteer, it appears suicide is unlikely. We'll find out. But at some point, unhinged hostility to the federal government, whipped up by the Becks, can become violence.

Yeah, you said that you motherfucker. 

In fact, you were frothing at the mouth about Teabaggers and murder for quite some time, as I recall.  Now that the last few murderers are avowed communist cocksuckers, you're all "let's not rush to group nutcases in with others who share their beliefs.' 

Ergo hoc ipse delenda hoc, you're a fucking douchebag. 

That or you just like to quote sentences containing the words, "hold some nut."

Eat My Shit,
Moron Pundit

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 03:38 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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I Hate Rude Behavior In A Man. I Won't Tolerate It

Last week, a commenter came over here and in the course of one of the discussions, decided to cross the line and demean, insult, and otherwise cast malice upon people who are members of the GLBT community, not for their views, but for their lifestyle. The comments this fellow made went beyond legitimate policy arguments and went to the pointless, cruel, and stupid route, and hurt and offended several people who come here to participate in our slice of Moronia.

I was so angry, I actually wrote down in MS-Word (fuck you, MS-Word!) a response that I was itching to give to this person, should he choose to reappear. Sadly, the guy did not, and I now can't find the response (fuck you, My Mad Computer Haxxor Skillz!), but it was passionate. I was and continue to be angry that people with whom I share a common bond (opposing leftism) and a Fake Internet Friendship were told they were not worthy of consideration based not on their political views, but on the fact their sexuality is different than his.

Fuck that. Fuck it with a Roast Beef Combo with rocket AIDS in place of au jus. While this is not my site, I do not look kindly upon somebody coming along and demeaning my friends and cohorts. I will not tolerate those who wish to go beyond legitimate political debate and into bigotry directed at or about my friends. I fucking look at people based on whether or not they are decent people, share my views, and just want to be left the fuck alone by the Nannyarchy, and not other things. Maybe I am wrong and naive, but fuck it. I just don't like seeing any of my friends hurt.

And since I can't duplicate what I wrote, please allow me to present an audio visual portrayal of how to handle people who are assholes.

Posted by: eddiebear at 09:37 AM | Comments (12) | Add Comment
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An Open Letter To Jenny McCarthy

Dearest Jenny,

In light of recent developments, I have a few thoughts I'd like to share with you, after the bump.
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Posted by: Moron Pundit at 08:37 PM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
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Alright Conservatives

Its time to make some decisions.  In other words, its time to stop being all or nothing douchelickers and start making the country a better place.


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Posted by: Moron Pundit at 12:09 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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Asshole, Thy Name Is Bob Marshall

Recently, the debate in the Virginia State House turned to the funding of Planned Parenthood. While I am adamantly opposed to the practice of abortion, I feel as though this asshole performs a major disservice to those of us opposed to abortion when he makes  epically idiotic comments such as this.

Western Prince William Del. Bob Marshall, R-13th, says disabled children are God’s punishment to women who have aborted their first pregnancy.

He made that statement last Thursday at a press conference to oppose state funding for Planned Parenthood.

“The number of children who are born subsequent to a first abortion with handicaps has increased dramatically. Why? Because when you abort the first born of any, nature takes its vengeance on the subsequent children,” said Marshall, a Republican.

“In the Old Testament, the first born of every being, animal and man, was dedicated to the Lord. There’s a special punishment Christians would suggest.”

Ahem...

 

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Posted by: eddiebear at 02:37 PM | Comments (14) | Add Comment
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Not worth getting upset over

I see The Only Man Who Can Save America^TM won the CPAC straw poll. John Hinderaker's being a little whiny about it,

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 01:31 AM | Comments (34) | Add Comment
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Bob Barker donates $1 million to try and stop PA pigeon shoots, Haitians still starving in the streets

For those unaware, this has been something of an issue in PA, mostly with the PETA set, and of course some squishy suburbanites and liberals.  PA is the last state to legally allow pigeon shoots.  Some of you might remember the ending of the pigeon shoot in Hegins, PA in the 90's, which saw some publicity.  Anyway, the PETA set and HSUS (who are really the people you need to watch out for) have been driving hard for a ban for a while in PA. 

There have been a couple of proposals, but they've thus far all languished in committee.  The NRA has been opposed to the ban, because most of the bills have been written in ways that would probably make life difficult for birdhunters, particularly upland and waterfowlers who use dogs when they hunt.  Naturally most of the PETA/HSUS set don't care, as they want hunting banned anyway.  PA of course is pretty much in a perpetual contest with Texas to be the huntin'est state in the union, there's a strong hunting and gun culture here, so the bill is seeing some resistance.

So we now have Bob Barker dropping $1 million into a group that's been actively pushing for a ban.  The good news is he didn't give it to HSUS, which is a proven capable organization.  The bad news is politicians are whores and cowards, and a million dollars can still buy votes, and can buy ad space and be used to stir up a shitstorm, and pigeon shoots aren't exactly the most PC thing in the world.

I'm inclined to defend the PA pigeon shoots.  For starters, the anti-Nanny instinct kicks in, I hate, hate being told by my "betters" what to do, I hate being told you can't do this.  My first reaction is almost always fuck you, yes I can.  Seriously, every time I see the PETA set screeching for a ban on the shoots my first instinct is to buy a nice double, break some clays and then sign up for the next pigeon shoot out of pure spite, just like my first thought is, why yes, a double bacon cheeseburger would be tasty right now, every time I hear the PETA set cry about eating meat.

I also don't like politicians getting into the habit of banning everyfuckingthing that comes down the pike that people don't care for, the last thing I want is a million little Nanny Mike Bloombergs running around banning every one of life's pleasures.  There's also a good bit of cultural elitism involved in the push for a ban, most of the published pictures and video are of white trash types from poorly run venues doing these shoots, not the respectable looking hunters in the old days.

Are the pigeon shoots a blood sport?  Yes, but properly run, there's no reason it can't be done with as much consideration for the pigeon's welfare as hunting, and most people aren't opposed to hunting.  I know I'll probably take some flak for defending this activity, which I can live with. 

That said, if the PETA set start spamming or screeching, I'm locking comments, I don't need to read the squealing and threats from PETArds.

H/T

Posted by: doubleplusundead at 02:19 PM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
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HOLY FUCK!

WHAT THE HOLY EVERLOVING FUCKING HELL FUCK FUCK?

I mean, FUCKITY FUCK, you know?  BlaFUCKITY SHITSHAM ASSREAMING MOTHERFUCKER! 

Am I right?

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 10:36 AM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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Good Thing I Never Planned To Go The Tea Party Convention In Nashville

I mean, when this sort of stuff is going on, it can't be good. Add to the fact the guy who runs it seems to have a few skeletons in his closet, you have a recipe for disaster.

Meanwhile, all money made by the sold-out event will go straight to Tea Party Nation, Inc. while grassroots activists have donated their time to make the event happen.

Tami Killmarx, a nurse, and an original member of the Nashville Tea Party Nation Steering Committee says,” I don’t believe for an instant that this money that Judson Philips is making will go to anyone but him. He doesn’t have a PAC. He’s been promising to form a 527.”

He has done neither. Killmarx was asked to leave the Tea Party Nation group of volunteers and kicked off the Tea Party Nation social networking site for voicing her concerns. Her husband, Robert, was asked to leave soon after.

That’s not the only financial funny business Phillips is accused of making. Kevin Smith, the website developer who was never compensated for his work on the Tea Party Nation social networking site and who wrote an insider’s account of the Tea Party Nation dealings, says that Phillips called his account a lie, but offered no proof to the contrary. Smith asserted that Philips mishandled Tea Party funds by paying for expenses out of his wife Sherry’s PayPal account. Judson Phillips did not return my request for comment.

Smith says, “Judson has been very slick and deceptive about PayPal. He’s answered the wrong question. He had two different accounts. One was his wife’s account. After August, there was a TPN account.” Smith was paid from Sherry’s account.

In the same NBC article, reporter Domenico Montanaro notes Judson Phillips personal financial problems:

A background check of various public records databases raises questions about how he has handled money in the past. The search shows that during Phillips filed for Chapter 7 personal bankruptcy in 1999 and during the past decade, he has had three federal tax liens against him, totaling more than $22,000.

In an interview with NBC News, Phillips admitted to the financial difficulties. He declined to comment on the bankruptcy, but said the federal tax liens have been paid off.

As angry as I am at the GOP and RfuckingNC, I don't know if I want to be hanging around with this sort of mess.

Ugh.

Posted by: eddiebear at 09:49 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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...and then let us never speak of it again

I was asked to comment on the Stacy McCain/Patterico/Jeff Goldstein clusterfuck.  Wanted to stay out of the whole thing this time around given how nasty it got last time around, and it got even nastier this time, but you know how that goes,

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Posted by: doubleplusundead at 02:59 AM | Comments (24) | Add Comment
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Thank You, Lefties, For Reaffirming Everything I Knew About You

As the news of Rush Limbaugh's health situation broke and developed through the night, the unsurprising level of hate spewing forth from the left on their blogs or on other social media sites reached China Syndrome levels of sickness. Save a classy tweet from Rachel Maddow, the reaction from our "betters" was a case illustration of how nasty, mean, petty, cruel, and hateful their otherwise empty souls really are. They were reacting on a personal level to a man who holds political views opposite of their own. They were hoping for the death of a man who didn't engineer murders or try to kill our servicemembers on the field of battle. They filled thread upon thread on their sites with taunts and classless statements.

And to that, I say, "Thank You." Thank you, lefties. Thank you for dropping the mask of tolerance and revealing for all to see how nasty  and sick you are. And thank you for allowing me to say the following to you:

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Posted by: eddiebear at 10:19 AM | Comments (18) | Add Comment
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Keep Your Hands Off Of My Healthcare!

OK, so I am going on about 3 hours of sleep, so I may or may not recall all of the details to this story, but my daughter woke up with a fever this morning that was in the scary range. We were able to get her in and out of medical treatment within the span of a morning, and she is resting at home. 

Anybody who thinks that Obamacare will improve things better not have a sick shild who needs rapid treatment, but is told to wait in line until a bureaucrat tells them it is OK to proceed. And so help me, after seeing how awesome the medical assistance we had today was, any attempts to change or "improve" it will be met by me consuming something combsutible, so that I can then piss fire on an "improver" for supporting something that will hurt so many people in the name of fairness.

And if a family member of mine is hurt or forced to suffer becasue of a bureaucrat, whole neighborhoods of liberals will go up in flames in my wake.

So yeah, fuck you, O-care Advocates. Fuck you with a toxic parking meter soaked in a fever inducing gonorrhea. You want to hurt my family? I will hurt you back on retard strength levels.

Posted by: eddiebear at 02:41 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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More random BUT IT'S FOR THE CHILDREN stuff

This came up in conversation at work today and I thought I'd ask my fellow Morons what they thought. 

Would it bother you if your child's kindergarten or elementary school teacher was male?  Would it make a difference if your child is a boy or a girl?

While I have an opinion (No!  I have an opinion about something!  I never do that!), I'm not going to say what it is.  I'm really interested in what all y'all think.

Posted by: alexthechick at 03:26 PM | Comments (15) | Add Comment
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You know what we haven't had in awhile?

A good old blogfight.  Now, since no one ever reads this blog, that can be a bit difficult to accomplish.  Thus, I'm going to start a fight between all three of us who pretend that we read this blog.

Sean Connery is the Best Bond Ever.  Anyone who disagrees is a Nancy Pelosi humping libtard. 

Posted by: alexthechick at 04:02 PM | Comments (40) | Add Comment
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This is what's going to be the final straw

There's been a lot of discussion about how the voters are angry and much speculation by The Punditry over why those teabagging racist bitter clinging assassins the citizenry is ticked off. Well, I think this sums it up quite well:

From here (emphasis mine).

As others around this here Moron Blog have noted (which I do sometimes read in direct violation of the Moron Blogging Code), there is a societal contract that permits the American version of representative democracy to work.  The citizenry elects a representative to represent their interests.  In return for being given that power, the representative agrees not to abuse that trust too much.  Look, let's be blunt, everyone expects the reps to get their beaks wet at least a little bit.   The only point of being on, say, the sewer authority, is to get your idiot nephew a job.  The public is aware of this and will put up with some wink wink nudge nudge type deals.

But there is a line over which the elected officials aren't supposed to go.  Voting on bills that they haven't read, hell, that haven't even been written yet is one of them.  The public isn't completely idiotic, all evidence to the contrary notwithstanding.  The bare minimum that a Senator should do is, at the very least, be physically able to read the bill before voting on it.  Having 1,000+ page bills not even finished until 13 hours before a vote is insane.

I submit that this open and blatant violation of the most basic trust is what is fueling the rage.  The political class isn't even pretending that the concerns of the citizenry are important.  That, in turn, will lead the citizenry to revolt.  As well it should. 

If our legislators won't deign to do their jobs, well, I'll be happy to assist them in finding new ones. 

Posted by: alexthechick at 12:24 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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